I had bad diaper chafing and I decided to try size Large with Abu since their sizes run on smaller size. Maybe that is what was causing the rashes so I will see. I have been using Aquaphor and then using Large Play Dayz which are way too big on me to let my skin heal. It’s been had all that time because diapers had been uncomfortable so I would air out and then couldn’t relax because I felt wetness down there. Could never tell if I was dribbling or is that discharge. Luckily I have not had any dribbles since that one time when it happened without anything on. It comes and goes and happens random and I can go days and periods where it never happens and them bam it does. I will probably do another blog on that later.
I have been bringing an extra diaper with me to work because of the sagging and the wetness and I don’t want to stay in them for too long. I also bring the wipes with me and the Butt paste. I left the Buttpaste at work in the closet where I keep my cart but I refuse to leave any diapers in there, I am afraid of snoops, not that they will do it intentionally, just do it if they were looking for something and they see a box and look in it only to find diapers. I do not want that. I may not care if people find out I wear them, that doesn’t mean I want them to see my products. I already deal with that with bag inspections at places or at the TSA. At my work I don’t have to deal with that because I bring my federal badge with me to get into the building so I pass the TSA stuff. If I left it behind, I would need to be bag inspected and run my stuff through the machine and show my ID.
I did order some Kiddos Junior Plus, a pack of them and got a medium because they fit up to 40 waist/hips. I try them on and I keep using Aquaphor and they haven’t been digging into my skin or leaving any marks and I have been using the cream over the sores so the skin heals. I did go with a pull up on (Goodnites) the other day while taking my daughter to school and I had underwear on over it. I wanted to air out but the pull up was for any leaks. I did feel a tingling in my bladder knowing urine was entering it again and I have learned to ignore that feeling now and just as long as I am diapered, I can deal with it fine and it eventually comes out when its ready without me giving it a second thought. My daughter wanted to leave early and I try to use the toilet to empty it out but nothing came out and I didn’t have time to spend like 10 minutes on it so we left. I didn’t even have to strain my muscles to get it all out because I read that just trains your muscles to not urinate when you relax them. I already do that when I swim and I pee in the water anyway without much thought but when we go boating, I am always diapered, same as intertubing.
But after I drop her off, I peed in my pull up and it wasn’t any leaks or dribbles, it was a medium stream of it and I barely felt I had to go. But my bladder kept emptying and I noticed later I had leaked when I felt myself down there. I also seemed to have peed through it too. I knew I then had to go home and get cleaned up. I head home and showed my husband the accident and he told me “I’m sorry” and I went upstairs and got changed and put on a Play Dayz and I had to fold the sides and the top to make them fit right and the tabs over lap I also got changed into some dry pants and I cleaned my seat and put a towel down on it and went to the gym. Serves me right for using a pull up. Never leave the house again without a fitted diaper.
The kiddos did come yesterday so I got changed into one of those diapers, the Play Dayz were just too uncomfortable because they were so big and they sagged. The diaper did fit me better but the top was loose but they are just one tab each side so what did I expect. I decided I take an extra to work with me just to test them out and see how much they hold. I have been cutting back on energy drinks by limiting 1 a day so I figured I can go with 4500 ml absorbency. When I did wet it the first time, I felt wet and it was squishy, okay not the best diaper then. But then I felt dry again. Oh, these have good sap and pull the moisture away. felt dry the entire time at work despite wetting it a couple more times and I felt they could hold more. But I decided to just change, I didn’t want to risk any leaks on the bus and train so I changed. I put the diaper into a scented diaper sack and hid it behind the bags with shredded paper I keep for our pet bunny. I didn’t want to leave the diaper in the cart barrel or take it with me to the loading dumpster so I hid it and put it in the trash barrel the following day.
I took another diaper with me to work today and this time I pooped in the closet and I was going to change anyway. I laid the matt own minutes later and I cleaned myself up standing and I didn’t make much BM and it was just balls and pebbles. Then when I was ready for a clean diaper. I laid down and put the diaper on. I discovered they go on better if I do it laying down. I did throw the diaper away in the cart to take to the loading dock with the rest of the trash.
Also, my chafing has gotten better thanks to the Aquaphor. I am now seeing in the skincare community people are using that and other diaper creams for their skin for anti aging. Aquaphor being poplar.
Now I am trying to buy Trest Elite on reddit because $25 a bag and I am just waiting to hear a shipping quote sometime this weekend. They run for $45 on Amazon so I am getting a good deal.
And Goodnites suck now. They are thinner too anyway I feel I have nothing on, at least back when I wore them in high school and as a young adult, they were thicker and it felt like I had on a pad. Now they feel paper thin. I am reminded why I quit using adult pull ups when my daughter was a baby. They all started leaking on me and I hated how loose they felt on me and the sagging. Now I am jaded about all of them so I haven’t bought any since no matter how much they advertise how absorbent they are. Wait, that is a lie, I tried Always Discreet and they leaked terribly on me so never again. The first time they worked fine but the second time, I soaked it and it wasn’t even much pee volume. Then after that I quit adult pull ups for good and then I ended up buying Goodnites or the other brand that were like Goodnites but the sides tear easily from wear.
I totally prefer diapers, I will still use pulls ups for only at home if I must air out. Same goes for using pads in underwear. I think I can also say I am un potty trained. I find diapers to be easier for peeing. Brings me back to my early childhood memories when toilet training was tough for me. I kept on pissing myself after feeling an urge and didn’t know what to do about it and I had to sit on the potty chair for a long time. I had less accidents at home because I was always sitting on the chair but out in public, I did. I remember my mom telling me how difficult toilet training was with me. Would I piss myself if I didn’t have a diaper on other than dribbling, I do not know. I woke up the other day and got my phone and laid back in bed and I all of a sudden felt a little urge to pee but I ignored it and was browsing on my phone when I realized I was peeing my diaper. I do often wonder if this is a subconscious thing I am doing because my body knows I have a diaper on. I have seen posts online by other ABDLs that they pee more when diapered or just go without control or go without realizing. I should call it diaper incontinence. It’s not a medical issue if it only happens when you have a diaper on. I have always called myself diaper dependent or diaper trained. I pee fine in diapers but in toilets, that is another story. Plus I am more relaxed when I am wearing.
Now Kiddos Juniors are awesome for the absorbency but they sag when wet and feel nice and squishy when wet when you feel the plastic shell. I can easily feel I am peeing my diaper and it’s warmer than usual and then the warmth is gone and I feel dry in minutes. With one tab each side, the fit will be loose on the top. They are not very thick and they are thin but they do absorb well. The outer shell totally has that nostalgic look when wet and the diapers are pretty nostalgic looking from the 90s. Only thing that is not nostalgic is the blue thing in the middle on the padding. Plus it feels like I have on a pad all over down there from front to back and I like the snug feeling when I am sitting.
Life As a Diapered Mother 