Wow, I am lucky

I was reading stuff online about Onlyfans and I am finding out sex workers get their accounts terminated on Onlyfans. I am wondering if that is what they saw me as. They don’t even state in their TOS, no sex work. But what exactly is sex work? I would think it’s two people doing sex. I never put any of that on my page because I never felt comfortable about it. Maybe they saw diaper changes as sex work, maybe they saw nudity as sex work, maybe they saw me using a vibrator as sex work. I have gotten some requests by my followers asking me to do certain things and I never felt comfortable with it because it’s out of my fetish. Sure I have asked for any video ideas and ideas I would get was out of my league. I wonder if masturbating is sex work.

But anyway I have migrated to another platform. I am going to try it out. I don’t like having more than one account that gets you paid for content because it would be too much for me. I get some people do it for a living but not me. I don’t have time for this full time. I see it as a gig and you need a survival job. Never rely on platforms for your income because they can terminate you any time and always withdraw when you read the minimum amount. You never know if some troll will report you for a BS reason.

I am hearing that people lost out of thousands of dollars and even hundreds by Onlyfans. Their accounts got terminated randomly but at least they got an email about it, I didn’t. I had to contact them and they told me but then haven’t responded to my other emails. I withdrew all $355 that was ready and good thing I did that or I would have lost that money. It went into my bank account and my husband moved it into savings so it won’t get spent accidentally. Then about five days later, my account got terminated. So I am considering myself lucky but I am not touching that money because I never know what can happen. I could get a letter saying I need to pay that money and if I ignore it, my credit will go bad. I am hearing subscribers get refunded when they kill your account. I never heard anything about that in my email.

Another lucky thing about me, I once waited till I had $500 before I cashed out because I had been too lazy to even withdraw the money. It took me about a year to earn that much so I finally did a cash out and then again three months later when I reached that much when I started to do videos. Then I cashed out again when I got to $300 and it was as if my brain was telling me something bad is going to happen so you better withdraw it now. I originally did that when I was paying my credit card and I used the cash I had from Onlyfans I kept in my room. This was before I knew we had an extra savings account that our bank never closed when my husband requested it to be closed. So I was lucky to still get my money despite not cashing out. Now I am going to cash out every time I reach minimum amount in case my account closes randomly. I did the same in Paypal too when someone paid me for my used diapers and photos of them too, always withdraw the money and then send them so that person can’t do a charge back to their account. I have heard of people doing that so the seller ends up not getting their money and I can’t trust people so I withdrew money on paypal. I wonder if that would be considered sex work by them?

I’ve had people ask me if I had any pictures they would buy that I posted online and would pay me $25 but sadly I never kept my photos and I delete them. I also gotten if I sell videos and that is how I got into Onlyfans. If a few people were having the balls to ask, it made me think there are other people out there that are willing to buy this stuff and want me to sell content. So that is what got me started. Plus getting an email one time asking if I had any premium than this blog and I started my onlyfans page.

But my biggest fear was being accused of being a scammer if my content wasn’t good enough or they felt it was too original so I made my page $4.99 a month. If people paid low money for it, they couldn’t be disappointed and call me a scammer if they didn’t like my page. Plus I would have less pressure and not be stressed out having to keep doing content if I did a high price. Only 5 bucks. People can subscribe to see my content and unsubscribe and they see it for 30 days until their subscription expired. I still got messages sometimes saying how they like my content so that made me feel happy to know people were enjoying it and it built my confidence.

One of my other fears is disappointing people and thinking I am not good enough and that I had scammed them because they didn’t like it.

I still don’t know how my account closed since they are a small business it looks like. I googled their address and they are in some small building in London. I was with them for almost 2 years so either someone reported my account or they were just too lazy to monitor all accounts so they rely on reports. Or maybe me contacting them about me having problems with uploading images and them not being upright made them look at my account and maybe they didn’t like it so they closed it and no email was sent about it. This happened right after my response to the email about photo uploads. Maybe if I had used a different email address this wouldn’t have happened.

But I am lucky I got my money before my account was randomly closed and I am lucky I lost only $100. Now I wonder if my subscribers are getting refunded that was left in my account. But it’s weird how they processed my funds and never terminated me before. You would think they check out every page when they withdraw amount. That is why I think someone had reported my page and specifically targeted me or other ABDL pages would have been shut down as well. My husband says someone probably got jealous because I am pretty and I said “how would they know, they never saw my face” and he said “you have a good body” and I said “so do other ABDLs, why not report their accounts too?” Then I said I think I was just targeted because my page was booming and I have a disability. He said how would they even know that and I said it’s pretty obvious online if I have been called slow and them saying I am on the slow side and that I am close to being retarded. Then I asked him remember how he felt when his Twitter account got suspended, he thought it was because of his disability and he said it was because he can’t spell well so he wrote firing squad because he couldn’t write capital punishment so he picked that word because it’s what he can spell and it got seen as harassment. I told him it was probably considered a death threat because if you post any memes or images of any deaths or guns and stuff, if can be seen as a death threat so don’t do it.

My husband thinks those people only said those things to me just to be mean and I told him normal people don’t get called that stuff.

It’s been a few days now and I still haven’t heard back and I can’t get the site to load and all pages say “coming soon” but yet the site works fine on my phone so I am going to assume they have my IP address blocked. I have no idea what I did wrong to make them hate me so much and this is all very strange. I have found other platforms and I read one of their Terms of Services and once I got to they didn’t allow age play, urine, poop, I clicked back knowing they would not accept ABDL content and took that website off my list. I also found another one that will be coming soon that seems to be a spin off from Onlyfans and I noticed their TOS was a copy pasta from it but this time they are from out of Las Vegas than in London, UK. I am thinking about going there but sent them a message on Twitter asking what do they consider obscene. They haven’t responded yet but I will email them if I don’t hear from them within 24 hrs. I am going to wait and see if it’s legit first. It could be possible they don’t even visit their Twitter page so email is best.

Also here are the lessons here I learn, I maybe should’t talk about how much I got from my content because maybe just maybe that is what got my page shut down because I got someone jealous and this is why people don’t like to talk about their income because they don’t want to make themselves a target for harassment and false reports and losing their accounts unfairly. Even mentioning how I earned enough for a phone finally is indicating how much I get for my content.

Hopefully I still start getting money for my content again.

But what makes me lucky I am saying, I didn’t lose out of thousands of dollars like some other people did and I got my money withdrawn before it even happened and it was processed so I only lost around $100 and this will ever be the last time I ever mention how much money I make for my future content and if my videos sell online. I don’t wanna make myself a target for silent harassment. Someone may have won the first time.

I can be dumb sometimes because of my own naivete and I don’t know what I am setting myself up for.

Just imagine if all my supporters flooded their email about my unfair termination, I wonder if they would give in or if they would think I created all these proxy IPs and different emails to contact them lol.

I would not recommend using this site anymore but if you want to use it, always withdraw your money when you reach minimum amount, consider other places to go to if your account is randomly shut down, no email, nothing about anything you did. Clearly they will just randomly reject people and not even send you an email unless you reach out to them and they will say they are not able to assist you right now. Then you never heard back from them ever again so clearly they do not care about false reports or care about their customers or else they would let you appeal and let you take down anything they thought was a violation of their TOS. Some people say they are scammers. That is because they randomly shut down their account and took their money they earned. Or they withdrew their money and bam account was closed and money never got processed into their bank account. Why mine got processed and put into my bank and then terminated a few days later is very strange so I am thinking someone reported me and did a false report and Onlyfans is too lazy to even bother or care. They will just blindly believe anyone and shut you down and they say in their TOS you agree you won’t slander them, fuck that shit, since I am no longer with them and they won’t respond to my emails, it doesn’t even matter if I am not welcome there. I lose respect for anyone when I get treated unfairly so I will speak my mind about how I feel about all this. Plus if they won’t even bother telling me what I exactly did and what I exactly violated, they shouldn’t be surprised when people say stuff about them. Them failing to tell me tells me this is over something BS and they just shut down accounts randomly and they don’t really care for the truth and facts.

Thank you everyone

I want to thank everyone for the emails they have sent me, I have appreciated it. Though I don’t check my inbox often because I don’t get very many of them so I don’t check this email account daily or weekly. But I still read them when I see them. I am glad there are people out there that like this blog. I once thought about shutting it down but decided I wasn’t going to let some troll get to me and bring me down and apparently that is a normal feeling there. Yeah if you run a blog, you are going to get trolls and hate comments and get called a liar, that is part of blogging, that is going to happen.

I don’t respond often because I often don’t know what to say and because I feel burned out so I don’t say anything.

I also keep getting this spam email sometimes from different email addresses saying they have found serious coding issues or broken links or bad ones, etc. in my blog or about promoting my blog. I just ignore.

I did once shut down my contact me page because someone who I was talking to freaked me out so I stopped responding and opening their emails and didn’t go back to my email for awhile and I made my contact me page password protected.

But keep the emails coming. 🙂

Regression with video games

I still have video games from my childhood and teen years. The first game I have is The Little Mermaid for Sega Genesis I got at Fred Meyer when I was seven. The rest belonged to my brothers and they all got stolen from their game cases at my parents house after I moved out. The other game I had from when I was ten is Lotus II and the other is Buster’s Hidden Treasure I got in 6th grade at toys R Us. The rest I have I got in my teens and twenties at Gamestop and other game stores or online and Sonic games I had I traded in because I have them on my PS2 under Sonic Mega Collection Plus and I had them for Sonic Mega Collection for Gamecube. Nintendo 64 games I have I had from my teens and adult years and I still have them. I started buying video games and gaming systems when I was 15 and it built up over the years. Before then, I only got a new game for my birthday or Christmas and the rest I had to rent. Back then Nintendo 64 games were 50 bucks so that was like all my allowance. My brothers and I had to pool our allowance to get it and we spent all our money on the system itself and it only came with one controller so we had to buy one extra one and my parents bought a game with it as a birthday present for my brother.

Lately I have been playing the Nintendo 64. I guess writing made me want to play it again so I was playing Goldeneye and saw how much I sucked at because I hadn’t played it in years it and I played Blast Corps and I did play Kirby 64 on my virtual console last month when I moved back into my old bedroom when my parents semi moved out. I beat the game in 3 hours and I was surprised how I still knew the secrets and where the shards were hidden and I didn’t suck at it. Though i did had to take a peek at the online walkthrough because I wasn’t sure where some the shards were hidden. I introduced my son to the game system and the game Goldeneye but he found it hard to play and couldn’t figure out the controls. I still have my original file on the game and it’s 007 because I unlocked everything using cheats when I was 15. I remember I named every character in the game with different faces, I had Nathan, Zac, and I borrowed the name Dr. Doak for enemies that had the same face as him. I also used to joke about Natalya being stupid because she always got in the way and calling her diaper butt because it looked like she had a diaper on in the Control Center level. I remember playing the game and dying a lot and failing missions and having to quit the level and try again and also failing missions on purpose to see what happens and trying to mess with glitches.
I also played South Park and sucked at it. I used to get to episode three level 1 and now I can’t make it past the first level anymore past the boss because I hadn’t played it for so long and it took me lot of practice to finally get past that first level. But I still remember Bobbybird and used that to beat the game.

Sometimes I like to go back to my childhood by playing retro games than playing my 3DS. My son has told kids at his school how many games I have and none of them believed him. I have showed him the Playstation 2 which is hard to get to work because the back piece is loose that holds the power and I have to have the cord in a certain position for it to work. He wanted to play old fashioning Sonic so I showed him Sonic Mega Collection Plus and we played Sonic 3 together. My son is finally at an age when I can start relating to him and that is with video games and he can play them now.

I have over 630 video games and I am not counting all my son’s games or my husband’s and I didn’t include our PS3 games or my game Boy Advance videos and the board games for Game Boy Advance and Nintendo DS or virtual console games or games on my 3DS from the eshop and any digital retail purchases. This is from over the years of buying video games and I have found cheap ones too after they stopped making the DS games and Game Boy ones and Game Boy Advance and it’s amazing how cheap they get now. I also ebayed a lot with video games and try and get them for cheap and hope no one bids on the game. Now it’s been a while since I have bought anything on ebay. Wait, that was a lie, I used it this summer when I got got two sets of Shopkins. I occasionally use it still. We have been using Amazon now or I use other websites to make my diaper purchases and I don’t really buy video games online anymore because I have most of them now I am interested in and there are never any particular games I am looking for. I only go for games I want to play, I don’t buy to collect so that is why I don’t have that big of selection of the Sega Master games or the PSP and I don’t have any XBOX games or PS Vita. Plus I rent from Gamefly so I can play the games and not have to purchase them though I am considering buying Miitopia so I can get another game shipped. I waited few months to get that game to play it and it’s not in our budget right now to buy it and my 3DS system is getting too full for more video games and I want to leave some space for game updates and system updates and not fill it all up to 0 blocks and I want to leave room for me to re download some games I deleted. Not only am I just a ABDL, I also like video games. I don’t know if I would consider myself a gamer, I don’t play online and I don’t do computer games. I do mobile games sometimes and then I delete the app when I am not playing it anymore to save space since my phone only has 16 GB. Anything I get interested in, I keep buying. I have done that with my Nook and Kindle, 3Ds, Lite Brite stuff, Benny & Joon, AB clothes, cloth diapers. Then I get free interests where I just read about stuff online and watch vidoes and not spend money on it unless you want to count the internet because that costs money but it’s a monthly payment. Then I never get rid of anything and I find that hard too. I have even bought clothes too and then ended up with too much of them I stopped buying them and looking at them and now I haven’t bought any in ten years I’m guessing. I have managed to get rid of half of them over the years when I would be downsizing my apartment when I was nesting and getting rid of them of them again when they get too big and keep falling down because the elastic got too worn out in the waist or I lost weight. I do not like anything hanging on my legs which is why I always wore pants up past my belly button or up to it while other kids didn’t. I tried that and it never felt comfortable because I hated the saggy feeling between my legs and around my buttocks. I have been given occupational therapy for my tactile issues but this never went away. I don’t even like saggy diapers or diapers feeling loose on me either, I only like them snug because I like the tight feeling but ironically as a child I didn’t like jeans because of the tight feeling but yet I wore stretch pants and I wore turtle necks but my youngest brother hated turtle necks because he didn’t like anything around his neck.

I sometimes wonder how I am not even broke when I go spending money on anything I get obsessed with or interested in. I think I have toned it down after having kids because they need food and clothes and then there are the holidays and their birthdays and it’s a matter of setting examples so I don’t want to teach them to be hoarders and buy junk so I often don’t buy them toys because they have toys and every few months we go through them to get rid of so they can make room for new toys. I keep the ones they often play with and even I have gotten rid of stuff I decided I didn’t need so that sets them a good example.

My mother doesn’t see what I do as hoarding because my room or house doesn’t look like the ones in those TV shows and thing I have are considered collectible and she doesn’t call it hoarding. I have even bought unopened Barbies from the 1990’s and have them up in the attic so my kids can’t get to them. I also have a bunch of unopened Happy Meal toys my husband gave me when we were in our first year of our relationship. Some lady was going through her stuff and she had a bunch of those and was going to give them away so my husband said he can take those and his girlfriend loves those things so he took two bags of them and brought them over to me. Some of them I already had from childhood so they were duplicates. Now I have them all in one bag up in the attic. I just have troubles getting rid of things so it always takes effort and when I do, that is a accomplishment. But I know what I do is nothing compared to the people on the show or what Donald Morton in Mozart and the Whale did.

Lot of stuff from my childhood is either out in the cottage in the attic here or still in Montana packed away in my parents’ old house or in my deceased grandparents’ basement. Things get lost when you move. I know I have a few items in my deceased grandfather’s chicken house and now that property is owned by my aunt and uncle, same as for the house and small house I used to live in by myself.

Another Twitter page

I can’t seem to stop creating separate accounts for online and real life. I decided to make a new Twitter account just for exclusive ABDL and my life than posting about games. My other one was just created just so I can post my Tomodachi Life stuff making it a story about my character. So my Twitter username is @diaperedmother.