Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

I remember when I was a little girl, I discovered this excited feeling of peeing in my playhouse. It all started when my brother did it but because I didn’t have a penis, I brought a Safeway paper sack out to it and me and my best friend both pee in that sack and I felt this tingly feeling in my belly and I got hooked peeing in my playhouse. But my mom was not thrilled and told me to not do it but I kept on doing it and I started to try and sneak it and wait till she was not around to do it. It took for her to spank me to never do it again.

Another weird thing I used to do as a little girl was give my two Barbie dolls golden showers.

When I was 8, I liked to be tied up and couldn’t understand why the duty ladies at school at a problem with it.

I guess even children can have kinks if they also engage in them too but that doesn’t mean adults can do it with them. But I remember my parents used to get mad at me about it and the duty ladies at school because I kept telling my classmates to tie me up to poles and stuff. But they never gave me any explanation why so I couldn’t understand why they were getting mad at me so no amount of yelling and trying to wall me and making me get the jump rope made me quit. I however give my kid explanations for why I don’t like their behavior. Maybe if the duty ladies had told me “you can’t ask kids to tie you up with jump rope because it will wreck it and eventually it will snap in half and your parents would have to pay for it, I am sure they will be pretty upset about it” and I would have listened and not do it again. Or if my mom had told me when I was 5 “I don’t want you peeing in the playhouse because it will then smell really bad and it will get smellier and smellier and the city will come and take your playhouse away and you won’t have a playhouse to play in, neighbors don’t want to smell your pee so they will call the city about it and they will come and take it from you.”

Even if they would be fibs or lies or even a exaggeration, at least it would have been a logical explanation for me because that was just how I was, I need to know reason behind demands and rules before I took them seriously or else I had a hard time following them. I basically had to be threatened, spanked, or have something get taken from me or even be excluded to get me to follow a senseless rule. Then I remember thinking adults made rules to punish kids because they enjoy it or they punish you because you made them mad so they are getting even with you.

But one thing that never left me was diapers. I outgrew the rest of the other kinks.

Now I am discovering my seven year old daughter has a fascination of using her bedroom as the toilet. She first did it when she was six and tried to hide the evidence but got it stunk in there so bad like stale urine. I looked at her bed but there were no urine stains and I even lifted the mattress pad and the mattress was bare of urine stains. I had to do some detective work by cleaning her room and I find out some of her clothes have piss on them. But the smell was still there and then my son discovered the closet really smelled and her whole entire Disney Frozen spread reeked of urine. I got mad at her about it and yelled at her like my own mom used to do to me when I was a kid.

She never did it again for a while and then she started up again. Now she was peeing on her floor and putting towels over it. I just thought she spilled something and forgot to put the towels down the laundry chute. Then her room started smelling again. My 10 year old son then mentioned she has a bucket in her room with pee in it and I went upstairs and my son showed me and it was a empty coffee grounds can and I got furious at my daughter and made her take it outside and made her clean her room and made her leave her bedroom door open. I sprayed the hallway and opened windows to air it all out. I also grounded her from electronics for peeing in her room and told her next time she pees in her room again or anywhere else in the house besides in the toilet, she won’t have any electronics for a week. She did cry but got over it.

Then I had to leave the house to go get some hamburgers for the whole family. I came back and my mom told me a story about how my daughter wanted to play in her room with her but it smelled so bad she couldn’t tolerate the smell and told her “if you want people to be in your room, you can’t pee in here or it stinks and no one would want to play in your room. I will play in your room tomorrow if it doesn’t stink still.” My daughter then wanted all the windows open in her room to get rid of the smell.

I hope she learned her lesson. It would be interesting if she reached her teens and I start to find wet diapers in there. If she is buying her own, I would just tell her to throw them away outside and I don’t want to see any of her used ones in the house, not in the trashcans, only outside in the trash and I don’t want to smell any in her room either and anywhere else in the house. Or will she have a wet pants fetish or just simply outgrow it? Lot of kids outgrow weird things when they do kinks and sometimes they stick like diapers did for me.

Oh yeah my daughter has also tried pooping in her underwear and she said her brother does it and I told her “your brother has medical issues with his poo, he does not do that on purpose, he gets constipated so his poop gets runny, you don’t have problems with constipation so don’t go copying your brother for something he has no control over. That’s not nice.” She has not done it again since.

And my son has not done anything strange yet that is kinky. My husband thinks she is just doing it for attention than having a pee fetish. I guess I will see.

Fedex misplaced my package

I have a subscription with Tykables and they were supposed to arrive on the 15th but they never came so I checked the delivery status and the package was supposed to be here two days ago and it’s been in my area since the 15th and the delivery is stuck on pending. Okay I will just go to Fedex first before I expect Tykables to do anything about it. I contacted customer service and the guy said it looked like it had not been scanned after it arrived and then he said “oh wait, it never arrived so I will contact the werehouse about it so they can see if they can find it and call you back.”

Now I don’t know if they reimburse customers if they lose packages. I guess I would have to go to Walgreens to buy diapers while I wait for a replacement.

And the guy also asked me what the content of the package is and I had no issue saying “adult diapers.”

r/wellthatsucks.

websites with poor customer service

I order from DDLG World and they had cute stuff, stuff you can wear out in public. You can also find the same stuff on Amazon too. I order a few things for my content using my Patreon money and while shipping is slow, I get the wrong size velvet shorts because they were put in the wrong package. Okay not a big deal, it’s a little inconvenient but mistakes happen. I will just contact them so they can make it right. I sent them a message on their website no response. I also sent them a support ticket too and wait it out. I wait two days and no answer so I sent them an email and still no response.

I decide to move on and I can always sell the sorts or just deal with a smaller size, they will be snug on me is all with my diaper. But because I take issues with customer service, it makes me not want to buy from them because with other websites, they always respond within 24 hrs and someone is always there 24/7. I get it, with smaller businesses, someone is not going to be there 24/7 and response time will take longer but I still expect a response, not a no response or I give them a bad review and think they are a bad service and it makes me not want to use their site again. To me this is unacceptable and if you are going to run a business, I expect you to be professional and always check your emails and respond to your emails. I don’t think it’s unreasonable here.

Over a week later I finally get a response from them and they offer me a refund or a replacement. I told them I wanted a replacement please. I still have yet to hear back. I still won’t use their site again because of bad customer service and lack of response.

Now pocketstars is having a problem with Mastercard regarding what content they allow on their platform. So they have hidden all the ABDL pages and no one can subscribe to them nor be rebilled so I do not expect to get anymore payments on there. I also withdrew my funds and it’s been 5 days and still no money in my bank and it’s stuck on pending. I contact them on Twitter and wait and 24 hrs later, still no response. I send them a email and I also contact them on Twitter again for an update.

I get it’s only two people that run the site and not hearing anything makes me anxious because I don’t know what is going on and I would at least like to hear what is happening. Makes me want to abandon their platform next month after my two week haitus because I do not accept this at all with customer service.

Another model just told me on Twitter she has been waiting on her payout since Tuesday so I am glad it’s not just me then. I wish they would have told me something like “We are slowly processing payouts to everyone so give us another 5 more days and contact us again if you do not get it by then” and that would have been good for me because I would then know what is going on and happening and I would patiently wait five more days before bothering them again. I had to hear from another model that they are slowly processing payouts to people and they just got their s that week. So I had to get a update from another ABDL model. I don’t need the money right now but I still don’t like not getting it if it’s stuck on pending because then I don’t know what is going on and if something is broken and if it will be like that forever. The unknown always makes me anxious. I have always had this problem, even as a kid. I used to get meltdowns over it and everyone always had to fix it for me and if they didn’t have the answer either, then everyone around me was fucked. Now today I just go online and google my issues and get answers that way and I also try and find solutions to my problems and not worry until I get to that bridge and take one step at a time. Oh my games haven’t come yet after a week of paying, well I will just wait another week before I open a paypal dispute. I make a post about it in a facebook group in a game collector group I am in asking if anyone has had that issue when buying games and surprise surprise I hear from the seller again and he shipped the item out. I don’t know if he was in that same group or if it was a coincidence but he said he had a flare up with his medial issue and was in the hospital and apologized for not responding sooner. At least I solved the problem.

And I have written about my issue with Aw So Cute I had on ebay too. Sent my diapers to another location and ignored my messages so I had to open a ebay dispute and I got refunded by ebay from the seller. I do give sellers chances to make things right and if they ignore my emails, bad customer service and I don’t buy from them again. If a business makes a mistake sending me the wrong size diapers and I had to ship them back before they send out the right order, I am not bothering with them again either. I shouldn’t have to pay for their fuck up and then have to wait another week or two to get my order. Lledico had no problem sending out my correct order when they sent me the wrong sizes but they shipped it out right after I shipped them back because they got a confirmation the package had been shipped so they sent out a replacement and it wasn’t a big deal. They didn’t wait to receive to send me the correct sizes. Also their response was pretty fast too and they are a small business ran by a couple. So I would use their site again because of great customer service. So other small businesses don’t have an excuse to not respond to their customer emails. I also learned when getting diapers in the mail, always open the package to check to make sure the sizes are correct. It would suck if I was low on diapers and saw I had the wrong size for the past two weeks and I would have to go to Walgreens and buy a pack until the correct ones came and having to wait to get the issue fixed.

There are also other ABDL sites I don’t use because of high shipping costs and poor customer service and because I don’t like how they treat their customers and can’t accept criticism. Same goes for individuals too rather they are writers or content creators. This saves me the stress and anxiety and I also weed out people who act toxic. I feel why should I give them any of my time and money if they will treat people poorly.

I also learned there is no point in calling people out on their behavior because they will DARVO. They will first reverse it and say you are the one doing it, they will act like you are the problem. Fact is lot of people lack self awareness so calling them out on it is not going to do anything. Notice when you call someone out on their racism, they will say you are the one being racist, tell someone they have changed, they will say you re the one that’s changed. Call someone out on being creepy, they will say you are being creepy. I have seen it all over the years since I have been interacting online. I have seen it happen to others as well on forums. Even I have experienced it in my childhood too in real life. I once told someone to not put words in my mouth and I never said that and they told me I was being snarky and to lose the attitude, talk about lack of self awareness. So it’s a waste of time to call people out.

In my fantasy world it would be nice if we all could say:

“Please stop twisting my words” and they go “oh I am sorry, I will take you literal then, I didn’t realize you were saying what you exactly mean, my bad.” Nope, this is not how it works in the real world. Instead people get defensive and will say you are being snarky or say “you are the one who is twisting words here” or tell you you are just gaslighting.

Broke my diaper religion again

My son had to have dental surgery on the 25th because he will not tolerate any sort of discomfort and he had to have a filling and get his tooth pulled because it was all rotted and hallowed out. He yanked that sucker out but still had pain up there. It was a baby tooth so I am not upset he had to lose his tooth and a new one will take its place anyway. He still had a little piece of that tooth up there and they got that out and drilled few of his other teeth and put in fillings and put caps over him perm teeth in the back to protect them from cavities. He had to be put to sleep for all this or else he would not have tolerated it.

But anyway while I was at the hospital waiting for him to get his surgery, my body decided to do a bowel movement and I didn’t want it to happen in my diaper nor did I want to get constipated from holding it so I had to break my religion by using the toilet there. I didn’t bring any extras with me and it was a good thing I did it in the toilet because it smelled and I had to push it out because it wouldn’t come out on its own. It was like my body didn’t know how to do it in the toilet anymore. It wasn’t a big one either. Obviously not all of it came out because after I got home more came out. It’s as if it has a mind of its own and knows when I am at home and out in public or when I am heading home anyway.

Scatshop hacked

Boy did I have a scare. I decided to check my account to see if I had sold another video and I see my login information does not work. I try again and it still doesn’t work. I look in the ABDL category and I see my own videos there still and it had been replaced by another username. I click on it and see my page and I click on the profile and it says it does not exist or it’s been moved to another location.

I even created a new account and sent in a ticket asking about my account thinking it was hacked.

Then it didn’t take me long after that that all the videos were marked with the same username and I realized it was the website itself having issues. I come home and look up the issue and I find out the website had been hacked. It was on reddit and on Twitter where I read about it and none of the models can access their accounts.

I am not really concerned about my earnings because I barely made any sales this month. I have been more successful on Pocketstars now. I make enough to buy content but not enough to make a living off it. I even keep track of my gig spendings on Microsoft word and save receipts or write down the cost so that way when I pay my credit card I know how much money to transfer to our checking account when I pay my credit card and I also write down how much I made on JFF and Pocketstars and write when I had moved it over to gig savings.

Now I was nervous about our bank account so I had my husband check it and everything was fine but I told him to keep an eye on it because Scatshop got hacked. I do not know if the hacker got our banking information but there is a reason why on websites, our personal information appears like 5555**** for banking information and social security and card information because it’s for in case if the website gets hacked.

I googled the username and I find out it was a name of a hacker and they even have their youtube channel with a few videos showing how to hack websites and you also see on google a list of websites they had hacked. It was a long list of them as well and all those websites I had never even heard of and even WordPress websites are often hacked I found out. I am not very concerned about my blog because I don’t make any money on it so I am not worried. Why would a hacker want my blog? Unless it’s someone who is my enemy and wants to destroy me.

I know Adisc has been hacked before but Moo always got it back and we were required to reset all our passwords and I remember when a bunch of users no longer had access to their email they had used to register with so they all came back under new accounts and Moo had to help them get access to their old accounts and ban their new account. So there were a lot of banned accounts then. I also remember when Dailydiapers had been hacked several times and it always wiped out recent posts or old posts were removed so it only showed the quotes in our post but our post itself would be gone. Each time we were told to change out password.

I remember when Nintendo got hacked so many users were given emails to change their password.

Gamestop was hacked one time and you were not able to log in and their website was not secured. I also remember when some games were free or were on sale for very cheap and everyone knew it was hacked but it was fixed within an hour or so. Or it could have been some Gamestop website employee that did that and sometimes employees with tamper with stuff when they get fired or are about to lose their jobs.

I have seen some porn sites that were hacked and it was pretty obvious too because it had malware, too many pop up ads, it would redirect you to other websites, the DMCA stuff is bogus, and sadly some website owners never get their websites back.

I don’t know what is going to happen to Scatshop but good thing I kept my videos on my computer under Onedrive. Will Alexapoo get her website back or is it gone forever and it will forever be hacked? I feel bad for other models though if they made over $100. There goes some of their income but I am happy I don’t need a gig income to pay my bills when our disability checks and my job pays it all. Sometimes I might have to start getting rid of my toys to declutter to move on to make room for more and repeat.

So don’t buy from that website. It’s hacked and none of the models will get their money. I hope wearing clouds won’t ever be a victim but I am sure he would move to another platform if that happen and hopefully he has his website backed up. I noticed the login button was missing on the page and so is the checkout page. Hopefully the owner is on hiatus again. He has done that before and will disable the checkout.

Update: the website is back to normal now. I can access my account and someone bought the newest video of mine and all the usernames are back. But strange how the site admins can just be silent about it. Usually the admin sends emails to all their users informing them of the hack and that everything is fine and telling them to change their password and check their banks for any suspicious activity or reassuring you everything is fine and your personal information was secured and not affected. This has been my experience on other websites.

That awful smell in my home.

My house has been smelling like sewage like piss and I thought it was our dog pissing somewhere and us not knowing about her. I wondered if it was the bonus room that was making our whole house smell and I looked for any dark spots and used carpet cleaner to clean it and got training pads for our dog to piss there in case she can’t hold it anymore since she won’t nark or howl to be let out. She likes to sleep with my husband so whenever he goes to bed, she follows him and she goes outside first thing when he wakes up. She will even whimper when she wants out too.

My parents came over and they had to leave because the smell got to them and I cleaned the basement carpet again and looked for more dark spots and checked the trash cans in the bathroom to empty out in case it was making out house smell and I use fabreeze and sprayed everywhere and opened windows and had my husband light the scented candle.

I hope we won’t have to get rid of the dog and tell my brother “sorry we can’t have a dog anymore, she is making our home smell like piss and we can’t figure it out where it’s coming from” and he has to take her back and get rid of her because he can’t have a dog anymore right now. It was his dog and then she became ours.

Then today I decided to clean the toilets and around them to see if the kids got piss on the floor and on the walls around it and I used pine sole and Comet inside the toilet and cleaned the top where the water comes in when you flush and I used the chemicals cleaner to clean the outside of it too. I scrubbed around the sides and cleaned the outside of it to see if it would help with the smell and I even opened the window and sprayed in there with Fabreeze to make it smell nice. I even washed the floor around the toilet too with pine sole and I used a rag to ensure to make it smell nice.

I decided to close the door when I was done. I go back in there later and smelled that awful smell again and figured out it was that toilet. It stinks and it was stinking up our whole house. It doesn’t flush and it fills up slowly after you flush so people keep pissing and shitting in it. But even after it’s flushed, it still smells and I cleaned it and it still smells like always and even wiping it down with chemical won’t make it go away. I told my dad about it on the phone and he said he will replace the toilet with another one they have brought over. I decided that bathroom door will stay closed with window open. I don’t think we have air vents in that bathroom. Even when I was a kid, I always kept the door to our bathroom closed because it always stunk in there from the toilet even though we would clean it. Even the bathroom upstairs in Montana stunk while mine didn’t seem to smell nor the downstairs one and my parents.

My mom described the smell like “it smells like dirty diapers down there” and I said “none of them are down there.” All mine get thrown away in my room and then I take it outside when the pail gets full. My dad said it didn’t smell like dog urine and it smelled like human piss.

I guess one of the good things about wearing diapers is never having to worry about toilets smelling but then you have to worry about the diaper smell. That’s why I used a enclosed bucket as my pail and take it outside when it’s full, open a window to air out or turn on my air freshener thing that melts scented wax and I keep my bedroom door closed. Plus it’s to keep the dog out of my room because I want it to be flee free in there and don’t want any on my bed. The flea problem has gotten a lot better after my husband has started giving her baths and plus we got flea medicine. She keeps taking off her own flea collars. I even got doggy shampoo that kills fleas or helps keep them off. Or maybe flea season ended so that would explain why I am getting bitten a lot less now.

I also decided to keep the bonus room door closed to hold in the doggy urine smell. I also keep spraying the pad to attract dogs to pee in that area. She has used her pad before because I have seen yellow stains on it and then I throw it out and replace it with a clean one and she hasn’t used it yet.

Where are all the older ABDLs?

It seems like many of the ABDLs are either 18 or 19 or in their twenties. I am in my thirties and I was in my twenties when I started this blog.

Someone asked on reddit if it’s harder to find ABDLs your own age. Actually it is. Many ABDLs I see are all under age 30 and I wonder if many of them (older than 30) just simply don’t do social media (eg. Tumblr, Twitter, Pocketstars) and they post on forums instead (eg. Reddit, Daily diapers, Adisc) which is where I see them mostly.

I read some speculations on there like:

28 y/o here! You may have trouble finding people on social media because they cater to a younger crowd anyway. Also, kids/careers/spouses and other things that are more common once you approach 30 are likely to contribute too.

Probably as people start families of their own it’s harder to find time to indulge & interact with the community. I’m 27 and already seeing that as potentially happening.

One of the issues is a lot of so called daddies are really just interested in young people and see this as a way to get a 19 year old. And once you hit thirty you are no longer young. Also people give up,repress who they are and latch onto a vanilla partner. This same person also said this at the end If you aren’t in a relationship by the time you are 35 there is little chance you ever will be. There’s not a lot of people looking to change the diapers of a forty year old guy.

I’d say one of my aspie friend’s got lucky and found a vanilla woman in her thirties who also has it too and they met online through a Facebook group about old highways and freeways and she also liked traveling and would come and see him and then she moved to be closer to him. They are now engaged and both decided to not have kids for personal reasons.

But I do wonder why social media is more common for young ABDLs and why older ABDLs prefer forums and don’t do social media and do photos. Notice how on the ABDL photo sites, all of them all seem to be young women and very few male. I also notice that most sex workers are female. Why are less men into this and more women are and I guess not very many women are into males so there would be no point in men doing it. But I wonder why.

I might be one of the few older ABDLs on social media.

Update: I came home from work and went into the bathroom to look for dental floss, door was closed when I got home and it smelled like piss. That toilet. But at least I didn’t smell it when I came home into the kitchen from the garage.

No place to put my used diapers

It’s past the holiday season and both our trash cans are full. Lot of it came from Christmas and I stuffed two trash bags of wrapping paper and garbage from the presents. Plus I was cleaning the yard and picking up leaves and I found some old junk buried in ivy from my brother’s house when my parents and him were renovating it to sell and they had all the house junk tossed on the side of our driveway making us look like slobs. Think of one of those properties you see with full of trash and abandoned vehicles and household appliances because they don’t have the money to haul it away. Well mine did it to save money until they had enough to fill the pick up to haul all away and they finally did buy forgot some of it so I tossed it in our trash bin including the medal frame to the fireplace from his old house. Plus I filled up the tiny trash bin that can fit 3 13 gallon trash bags from our household trash and now it’s all full and none of the trash cans have no room for more garbage.

I told my dad on the phone to stop hauling his and mom’s trash over here and use the trash service over there. They are house sitting my aunt and uncle’s house so they live there for now until they are back from Hawaii for the season. I told my dad our trash cans are full so don’t bring over anymore trash of theirs and to use the trash service over there.

My dad’s excuse was he was going to burn the trash (it was all paper from Christmas) and I said it was all over and it got wet from the rain so I tossed it.

My diaper pail is also full and we have stuffed trash cans but trash day isn’t until this weekend because of the New Years. I also don’t have to leave the bag on the ground outside or else animals could get into it. I can always leave out in the garage to haul out after trash pick up and then toss in the trash can with the other trash bag I am filling. I have thought about upgrading the trash but figured it’s my parents hauling it over here so I might just start dumping it in their cottage to show them because I am not letting them full up our trash cans when we need the room for ours. They can use my aunt and uncle’s trash service since they are paying the utilities so they can pay the trash service at their house.

There is a subreddit called bad roommates, there should be a subreddit called bad family members. I would probably have a lot of it but I bet it would make me look like I am always whining about my family and can’t find happiness.

My Camelots review

I decided to give these a shot. Instead of waiting for them to come in my subscription box randomly, I decided to use my funds money to buy a pack. These are the most absorbent diapers ever on the market so far, holds 7000 ml.

The pack came and I tried one and I wore it all day and over night and it leaked. I also had a lot of energy drinks too so that made me pee a lot.

Last night I decided to put one on again after not wearing for a week or two. I got changed and then less than a half hour later I felt the urge to poop so I pooped while sitting on my couch whole sewing up a seam on my pajamas while listening to Christmas sing alongs on Disney Plus on my phone. Then I peed and I felt it against my skin because it was so warm.

I don’t remember when I peed again but I remember I did a big one in my diaper this morning before getting out of bed and I felt it because of the poop. But it all absorbed in the diaper and I put my robe on and went on with my day. I remember I did a big pee again around noon and it went up the front of the diaper and it absorbed and it had no leaks. Normally diapers leak on me when I have messed in them and then pee heavily. But not these. I did wet them again while working out and they still didn’t leak and I even say in my wet and messy diaper and there was no wet spots on my wooden floor.

I don’t plan on using up the entire pack and I plan on using these for special occasions since they hold so much and these are good for travel use and when I am out all day. I can drink a bunch of sugar free energy drinks and not worry about my bladder. But just as long as I don’t have to poop because pee always makes poop smell as it gets wet from the pee.

I would keep these on longer but sadly I would have to take it off and change into a different diaper for work. These are also very thick too and they are very comfortable. I can feel the squishiness and the dampness in this diaper and I am not sure how many times I have peed in it other than the heavy pees I remember doing.

Things I am thankful for (ABDL version)

I am thankful for my husband who accepts me in diapers.

I am thankful I can wear them 24/7 and have a normal brain. (No more OCD thoughts about diapers)

I am thankful diapers have been normalized in my home

I am thankful for the companies out there that make good diapers and care about dignity than saving money.

I am thankful for some people out there who make outfits for ABDLs and have opened a compajny for it such as Lil Kink Botique and Littles Lavatory

I am thankful for Tykables that have diaper subscription cases.

I am thankful for all my fans out there that have supported me by subscribing to my content, even if it was for one month.

I am thankful for the fact that Casey had bought ABU and fixed up the mess the previous owner did and shipped out orders that customers had ordered.

I am thankful for Emma ABDL and Mindlessly Diapered that had inspired me to start making money on my content and some others too I had seen on Twitter.

I am thankful that Pocketstars allows messy content on their site.

I am thankful Just For fans does allow ABDL and age play on there while Onlyfans decided to throw everyone out who had that content on their site.

I am thankful for all the ABDLs that condemn any behavior in the ABDL community that is inappropriate like invading IC forums with their ABDLism and fantasies.