It’s easier being a ABDL as an adult

I don’t think I have posted this yet here because I looked and found no results.

I think it’s very hard liking diapers as a child and having baby desires because as a kid, you don’t have lot of control over your life and no income. You have to earn your own money through chores or doing odd jobs from your neighbors. And plus you do not drive and you have no bank card so you have no way to make enough to buy diapers or to even go to the store to get some unless there is one a walking distance away. The closest store to us that would sell diapers is a mile away and that would be too far for a child. I don’t think a kid can get a bank card until they are eighteen so that makes it impossible to order online and stealing your parents credit or debit card just to order something online, you will get caught because it will show up on their statement and how would you explain to them what you bought online?

Then don’t forget about your friends and other kids. Kids have mouths, they notice more things than adults, they lack filters due to their brain development, they lack empathy for the same reason, they will say something if they notice and make a big deal about it and tease you about it. So even if you do buy diapers, you have to keep them well hidden and make sure your friends will never find them and wearing to school is like committing social suicide. All this anxiety and shame you have to carry and to keep hidden because you know diapers are unacceptable and not normal because you don’t see anyone else wearing them but very small children. Then there are your parents and they won’t accept it or even allow it. I think being a DL and liking baby stuff is very difficult as a minor.

But when you are an adult, you earn your own money now through employment, you have a bank card now so you can now order online and even pick up the case at the local Fedex office if the website offers that option. Your parents can’t make you not wear them unless they tell you to move out or threatening you they will stop paying for your school. Adults are too busy to even notice things around them and even if they do notice, they say nothing because they are too busy with their own lives to even care. So that makes it a lot easier to wear them and not worry about being judged or shamed.

I remember when I was a kid, I liked diapers but felt ashamed and embarrassed about it. I knew it wasn’t normal and this was another weird thing about me. I would occasionally take a diaper from next door and they had a two year old and my mom was friends with the mother. Then when he was potty trained, they no longer had the diapers. According to my mother I would take some from the store and wear them in 6th grade and I even took one from my school too. That was one battle there between us in 6th grade and I so desperately wanted them and I even felt suicidal over it. That is how hard it is being a DL as a kid. Then the city was going to build a store right outside our neighborhood which is now a Walgreens and I imagined going there and buying some diapers and putting them in my backpack and taking them home and hiding them when my parents are not home and hide them in my bedroom closet under my stuffed animals and only wear them when they are not home. But we moved before the construction even started and we lived in the country so no store within a walking distance. We lived about ten minutes out of town and it was tiring riding to town by bike and took too long.

I didn’t get my first diapers until I was 17 and that time I was driving and I had money from chores and no job. I had no card so I had to buy them in the store and I had to constantly look around making sure there was no one around I knew because it was a small town. I also had a story in my head, I was running an errand for my family to get diapers for my grandfather. I will even put on an act too about it so I would get in character about it and not get out of it until I was in the car. Then when I was 18, I had my own checkbook and bank card and I could order online then and with both parents knowing and letting me do it, that made it easier. They didn’t take my diapers away because I was an adult. But I still didn’t order online and still continued buying from Wal Mart or from thrift stores every time I saw some there. I never wore to school because I didn’t want kids to hear the sound and see them on me. I wore a Goodnite once when my period was real heavy so I had an excuse. I forgot to take my birth control so that resulted in my period being real heavy. I took it for hormones and for my period so it made it lighter and and cramp free and no hot flashes and I was not so sensitive.

I am not saying it’s easy being a ABDL as an adult because there is still shame and the embarrassment but the truth is people do not care what you wear under your clothes and it’s just your own anxiety that is making it hard, not the ABDL. This isn’t childhood. but once you accept it and not worry anymore about people finding out your wear them or even care if anyone knows, etc. you will see how normal your life is and how easy it is to wear diapers and if anyone asks about it, just tell them you have a medical issue or you can be honest just to see their reaction and they are random strangers so it doesn’t matter what they think. Unless it’s someone you know, I would just say it’s a medical issue. Once I realized all this, it made it easy for me as an ABDL. Maybe this was when I made peace with it.  I have money so I can wear all the diapers I want without anyone telling me I cannot. I would say it can still can be hard if you are too poor to afford diapers and to wear anytime you want or if you can’t find someone who accepts it or find someone who will let you wear any time you want or if your parents are threatening to kick you out of their house or not pay for your school if you do not quit. Mine never made threats to get me to quit because they loved me too much. I do find this a curse in a way because of what comes with it. It’s not a curse for everyone though because it depends on their environment and the people around them. I would never date someone if they were revolted by my diaper usage or didn’t want me wearing around them and were not okay with me wearing them 24/7 or if they were just tolerating it. I would call this a compatibility issue.

I still occasionally buy in stores if any thrift stores are selling any good diapers but I mostly order mine online but not because it’s discreet but because they offer better diapers than the stores here do. I have no problems having diapers in my shopping cart and purchasing them at the counter. It feels normal. It used to be awkward but not anymore.

Too many diapers

My mom and I were going through stuff again in the garage to see what there is to get rid of and she saw my two boxes i got from Bambino diapers and they were the Xplus. I told her those were mine and she said I had too many diapers. She took them all out of the box and I cleaned off the stairs that lead to the basement and my mom decided to keep the diapers there. I stacked them by the door and I had to tell her not all of those were mine because she was telling me I had too many and I needed to stop buying them because I had enough and I would mind as well donate some if I am not going to use them. So I told her some of them were my husband’s and she said “does he use them at all?” and I said “sometimes?” and she said again we could donate some to Goodwill. I decided my husband had enough diapers and now he has ordered me AC Amer diapers from ebay and I told him “Mom is now going to kill me when she sees I have gotten more” and he said she didn’t have to see them and I said “if she doesn’t see the package.” But he is the daddy so he got his baby girl some diapers that were printed. he also got himself a sample pack in his size so we could wear them together.

I also told my husband I told my mother that not all of the diapers were mine and he said “You told her I wear them?” and I said  “You told your parents so we’re even now.” I meant it as a joke but I was serious.

Getting less embarrassing

My parents got back from their cruise. I ran out of Bellisimos in my room so I went out to the garage and got the last three packs out of the box. I brought them inside and there was my mom being nosy again because she asked what I was doing so I told her I was bringing in some stuff. She asks “What stuff?” I show her the packs and she goes “Oh the diapers.”

I have gotten used to it so it wasn’t embarrassing to be honest about it. She was in the living room watching TV but I still didn’t feel comfortable to say I was bringing in some more diapers.

New diaper bag

My purse was falling apart so it was time to get a new one. I went to Goodwill and looked at purses. I looked at the big ones and my son enjoyed seeing them all and thought the little ones were for kids. He was even trying to help me pick one out but I told him that purse wasn’t big enough and I needed a big one so I could fit my stuff in it. I look at the big ones I could find and I put each one in the cart so I can look at it later and decide. I even liked the purple one but discovered a part was broken off that keeps the flap closed so I put it back. Less decisions to make now. So I found two good ones and kept them in the cart. Then I looked around. I looked at the game controllers and then saw what diapers they had and all they had were pull ups. I also looked at the toys and left my son there and went to the books and then I heard my son crying “Mommy.” I said I was right here and he kept calling my name so I just went over and got him because I didn’t want to shout across the store at the top of my lunges so he can hear me and follow my voice. He was crying, poor thing and I called his name and I said “Did you think I left you?” and he said “yeah” and I went back to the books and he went with me. Last year and the year before he would have loved to stay at the toys and won’t get scared but he was too young then to be left alone so I didn’t leave him with the toys then but this time I felt he was old enough because I can remember being in toy aisles alone that young and he got scared instead. Kids change.

My son wanted a Hello Kitty book I found so I got him it and I got myself a book by Ann Rule and I forget the name of it. I also got him some candy and I got myself some too. Then we went home and I cooked up some mac and cheese and I find out my husband doesn’t like it because he had it too much. So only my daughter had some and me and my son wouldn’t eat his so I stuck it in the fridge with the rest of the mac and cheese. My mother in law was also over and she didn’t want any either because she had already eaten.

Here are the diaper bags I got:

This will be my primary diaper bag.

My other one for if I have to pack a premium diaper which would be too big for the other one.

It has different sections in there unlike the other one. It looked like it was meant to fit a laptop in there.

Smallest messy diaper

I did this on August 6th and I was going to upload it but I forgot so I am doing it now. I messed my diaper and then I changed the next day and it turned out the mess was not that big. It stuck to my butt and I had it fall off my bum into the diaper. It’s just two small turds and brown streak from the poo on the diaper. I did dump the turds in the toilet. I have been pooping small amounts lately for some reason. i do this off and on and then comes along the gas pains and diarrhea. I am hoping it won’t happen again this time.

[Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/wLu17nY.jpg?1)

My husband’s surprise

I came home from work and boy it’s hot outside. I am not sure what the temperature is but it was hot where I don’t want to be outside. I come inside and I see some food on the kid’s plate and a bottle. I say “Hello?” and my husband says hi from the living room. I ask him if that is my food on the kiddy plate with the bottle and he comes in and says “did I surprise you?” I say “yes” and he tells me to get to the table. I carry the plate to the living room and sit at the table. Both our kids were still up and I eat the sandwich bagel and I don’t drink from the bottle because we had our son in the room so I took the top off and drank out of it like a cup.
Then my husband opened the cheese stick for me. Then when I was done eating, I went upstairs to shower and my husband took my clothes off me. Of course we shood our son to the bathroom and kept him out of my room. Then he took my diaper off me and I headed to the bathroom to shower.

I signed up for Diapermates

My husband and I were talking last night and he mentioned about finding me a playdate, another female, no men. I liked that idea and decided to sign up for DM again and coming up with a username was tricky and making a description of myself. I am a woman looking for other women in the area but I am open for men too but not as play dates. I want to meet other AB/DL parents so I stuck it in my description too. I also put in my profile that I am married so everyone knows and won’t hit on me or expect anything sexual. I also blocked my ex. I found her profile and blocked her because I don’t wish to correspond with her. She was also looking for women too.