Things I have noticed with my weight loss pt. 2

1. You start to feel like a little kid when you feel your shoulders and your back and see your back in the mirror

2. Happiness, you notice you feel better inside about yourself

3. You start counting calories and wanting to know the servings size

4. You decide to eat less to save more so money becomes your excuse for self control

5. You start filling your breakfast bowl halfway with cereal and pouring milk only halfway in the cereal. No more to the top because what a waste of food and waste of milk

6. You can’t work out on your back anymore on hard floors,

you need to lay on something soft now

7. You learn about fatlogic and now you can’t stand to hear it

8. You get annoyed when people tell you how they wish they can look good as you but then they turn down your food advice and get annoyed with your food policing. Just shut up about my body then and your “envy” about my body if you have no intention of doing anything about yours.

9. You learn to eat half of the restaurant food on your plate and take the rest home

10. You start to practice intuitive eating

11. You realize you are not a real woman anymore because of all the “real women have curves” body shaming stuff you see online

12. You feel

whenever you see anyone accusing any athlete or fitness person or anyone showing some ribs or any skinny person of having an eating disorder or being underweight even though they don’t look like this:

13. “You have fast Metabolism.”

You feel every time you hear this and you want to scream

Things I have noticed with my weight loss

1. I get cold more often and 65 degrees AC is too cold for me.

2. I can’t fold my arms comfortable anymore. I can feel my rib cage and my hip bones.

3. I have to be careful when my knees touch or when I am in bed, I have to keep my legs spread and be careful with my arms so I am not hitting my rib cage or my hips.

4. I can feel the top of my butt bone now

5. I can feel my thigh bone now when I press on my thighs.

6. I can feel my butt bones now.

7. I can feel my tail bone pressing on my diaper when I work out and feel my hip bones press on the sides of my diaper when I lay down.

8. I have noticed gaps in my tummy and the skin looks pinched in

9. My tummy sink in when I lay down

10. I can see my top chest bones above my breasts

11. I can grab my skin on my tummy anymore and I can barely grab any and it hurts if anyone does it. I used to play with it and now I can’t anymore.

12. My tummy no longer hangs when on all fours

13. I can wear low rise jeans now without feeling fat and disgusted with my belly

14. Clothes feel different on me, I can feel them more

15. 90 degree heat feels weird on my body, it’s hot but yet I am not hot.

16. I can see my shoulder bones

17. I can see my back bones and my whole entire rib cage when I stretch my body

18. I can sometimes see my rib cage depending on how I stand or sit.

19. It’s uncomfortable to lean back in hard chairs. I can feel my back bones.

20. Diapers have gotten big on me, tabs too close together, the rise is too high, I undergrew out of the Bambinos because I no longer liked the fit and they don’t have a size small and they were leaking on me. But I hear the absorbency has decreased so maybe it’s not my weight then.

21. I can put my hands around my upper legs

22. I can feel my butt bone when I sit on hard surfaces depending on how I am sitting

23. There isn’t much of a belly roll when I sit or lean forward or bend down.

24. My son now loves to rub my back because he likes how my back feels because he likes feeling all my bones and he says it relaxes him.

25. I feel sick if I eat too much so I don’t eat much at all. Even a McDonalds hamburger will fill me up and then I will feel I ate too much because how my stomach feels. So I order small meals and I rather have my husband order large fries to split them with me. I order small in everything.

26. The skinny shaming comments; “Oh you look anorexic”-my dad. “you have an eating disorder”-my mother “you look unhealthy skinny”-my online friend so I didn’t speak to him for a few days.

27. Jeans feel real loose around my waist when I sit.

28. Some of my pants had started falling down and wouldn’t stay up.

29. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable when I am sitting and my rest my arms on my lap because of my hip bones my arms are resting on.

30. I have had to readjust my body positions when I lay down or sit because of my bones.

31. I have to eat junk food just to keep my weight on or else I am like that guy in Thinner where he can’t stop losing weight no matter how much he eats. I feel like him sometimes when I don’t have junk food. I will lose weight. I just love my sweets. Without them, I would lose weight because I prefer sweets than real food.

32. I have less body curves. Sometimes it looks like I have none.

33. I got a thigh gap now

34. My thighs don’t stick out as far.

35. My stretch marks are now in the middle of my upper leg where my thighs are because of weight loss. They used to be on the side.

36. I still look fat. I still look big in my photos, ugh the fat thighs and legs and my skin fold at the back of my rib cage so it looks like a body roll. My husband says it’s not and that is just skin. Then it’s gone depending on how I stand or sit and when I stretch.

Messy diaper between schools

I took my son to school when the urge started to hit but the feeling wasn’t very strong. When I got very close to my house, the urge became painful and then the pain went away.

The pain hit me again while I was giving my daughter a bath and this time it came out and I wasn’t trying to hold it in. I’ve thought about taking my diaper off right when I got home to poop but since the diaper was already wet and the stuff inside it would probably fall out of place because it’s a Molicare, I kept it on and just pooped in it. I gave it a push too without squatting or grunting. Then I peed again and I told my daughter I was going back to my room to get dressed while she plays in the tub.

I went in my room and took some photos and got changed. It took lot of baby wipes but you can never not have too much of them if you wear them 24/7 and use your diapers for both. Because I don’t have a mirror, I just use my phone to see my butt to be sure I got it all. Then I put rash cream on where I felt sores and used a clean wipe to wipe the cream off my finger. Then I put on a fresh Molicare and tied my jacket around my waist to keep my diaper from showing since the pants I had on were falling down. They were my mom’s 30 years ago and then she gave them to me ten years later. They have a tie in the waist but I had put them on backwards because of the tag is in the front so I thought it was the back. I didn’t want to take my shoes off just to turn my pants around. They used to not fall on me but now they do, even with thick diapers. I have some pairs that fall down on me but don’t with thick diapers.

I am still getting these cramps but they are not that bad. I thought I was on my period but there is no blood so I don’t know what is going on. Maybe I am just getting sick. My period and poopy cramps feel the same so I can’t tell between the two and even labor felt that way too right before I had my kids. The only difference was they would come and go at consistent times so I knew it was contractions and the fact the pain was getting worse and the pain was getting closer and closer together and lasting consistent minutes and I waited when they were very close together before coming in.

My system is just full of shit right now. (pun intended)

Something I can confirm between UK baby diapers and US baby diapers

I tried Pampers size 8 and they stay on me no problem. I don’t need to use any tape to hold it together and the tabs go further on the diaper than on the sides only where the parent pulls on when putting the diaper on.

I am trying a Pampers Cruises size 7, the new version without Sesame Street characters and the side ripped off again like it did with a size 6. But the other side is staying together but the other side ripped out of the diaper. I just looked and the other side is starting to come out but I am going to take this diaper off soon anyway since I’ve already peed in it.

When I tried Cruisers size 7 back in 2007, the sides never ripped off and they were very tight and dug into my side and the tab would pop off sometimes, not rip. I gave them away on Craigslist because I didn’t find it worth to keep wearing them and I was full of fatlogic then too, I didn’t think I could lose any weight and that I had slow metabolism.

I have lost weight so they should fit me better so I can conclude, the size 7s did get smaller as some ABDLs have said. I can also confirm the sides that attach to the diaper are weak since the sides never rip off the UK pampers size 8 when the tabs eventually slip off and I have to readjust it over time.

So it’s the diaper, not my size that is causing it to rip and the size 7’s have been made smaller indeed.

I do have UK Pampers size 7 and will try those soon to see how they hold compare to a size 8.

I also hear size 7’s in the UK are bigger than US size 7s and that there have never been a true size 7s in the US since they are smaller. I can confirm they are weaker too.

I also hear Goodnites have gotten smaller too but have not worn any since 2007. I still have an unopened pack of them from 2006 because I never got rid of them and I had them boxed away with my husband’s things when we moved in together. Then I found them again years later when I was packing when we were moving into a house. I am thinking of trying some again.

I notice without any of my normal diapers, these size 8 black pants I have on are big on me because they keep falling down my hips and are real loose around it and my waist.

Messy diaper in the car

I had to pick up my son from school today and while I was waiting in the parking lot with the other cars, my body decided it needed to make a BM. Oh no, not here, I won’t want to mess in my diaper and then having to change it wasting it.

I try to hold it but it’s uncomfortable so I just let it out and then I feel better.

My body used to just do a BM in the evenings and it was like it had a time frame when to do it and it was as if my body knew I was home for it to make a BM but after wearing diapers 24/7 for so long, my body is now doing it at random times and it feels uncomfortable to hold it so I look for a toilet and a few times I have just let it out in public when there was no toilet around. A couple times it was because I was sick and holding it was very painful in my abdominal area.

But it happened in the parking lot in my car and my son didn’t seem to notice when he got in. Then my bladder was hurting so at a red light I was able to let it out also and it was a long one I did and the pee went to the front of my diaper and I could feel the urine going up to the front. I had no idea the whole entire front was soaked until I looked. It went all the way to the top when I peeked inside. I waited until my son was out of the car before I snapped a photo of the front of my diaper and posting it on Twitter.

I go inside and ask my husband in the bathroom if he wanted to change me so he tells our kids we were going upstairs to help me with something in my room and to watch TV down here so they stay down here while he cleans me up on my bed. He uses a lot of adult wipes and he says it was all over and some of it got on my leg so he cleaned that up too. Then he put a cheap diaper under me and he fucked me and I felt pain in my bladder again so I relaxed and when he was done, we saw that I had pooped during sex and also peed. He said good thing he put a diaper under me because I just had an accident because I am a baby. He cleaned the mess off me again and put another clean diaper under me and put rash cream on and put the diaper on me.

Then after he left my room and I was standing up to get dressed, I peed again and it was another big one. Then my bladder felt better again than uncomfortable, that feeling you get when you have to pee very bad. To me it’s very uncomfortable now to feel it so it feels painful. I had to throw my own used diapers away because my husband was too sore to do it.

I wonder if any non ABDLs have pooped during sex or peed, my husband thinks that happened because I relaxed my muscles too much and that happened. Not that I am losing control. I can’t tell between if I am going to have an orgasm or if I have to pee. I relaxed and peed and pooped instead.

Luvs, vs Cruisers, vs Safeway Select

So far I have tried all three diapers.

Pampers Cruisers:

The sides stretch to barely fit me and I use tape to keep it together so the tabs won’t pop off. Technically they are too small and don’t fit but lot of ABDLs will say they fit into baby diapers when they mean they can get them on but they don’t say how long they stay on for without doing anything else with them and if the sides rip eventually or if they are tight or if they dig into their sides. So photos of adults wearing one mean nothing.

The sides hold well and they have torn twice on me after hours of wear. The padding doesn’t go all the way up in the back.

The tabs are a bit uncomfortable because they feel scratchy on my skin.


The sides are shorter and not very stretchy. They pop right off after a couple of minutes and even tape won’t hold it. The sides dig into my side and the tabs are very scratchy. I must say I cut the tabs off and wore it inside my tru Fit.

Length: They are a a couple CM longer than the Cruisers

Padding: They go all the way up the back.

Stretch: They stretch the furthest than the other two. The sides just suck but yet they are the cheapest diapers so what do I expect.

Safeway Select:

Length: A but longer than Cruisers

Stretch: The sides are stretchier than Luvs and they don’t pop right off

Padding: They go further up than Cruisers but not quite as far as Luvs.

Sides: The tabs have not bothered me and the sides don’t dig into me. They held better the most than the other two and the sides were ripping but still held together.

So there you go, each baby diaper is different. I still want to try size 7s to see how they fit and it’s crazy how some other ABDLs can manage to get them on and fit them better than me but maybe body type has to do with it. For most of us, they will fit us like thong. Photos can be manipulated so anyone can take a photo of themselves in a baby diaper and shoot it at an angle making it look like it fits them well. I did that on my Twitter page with the Safeway diaper to show how you can manipulate the photos by shooting it at an angle to make it look like it fits you like a real diaper. Also the people who take these photos are not saying how the diaper feels on them and how long it lasts before it falls off and how the sides hold for how long. I think they are just for a show and I think anyone who claims they fit them well is lying unless they are a dwarf or very short people like 4 foot 6 or a dying anorexic where they look like they have been inside the Holocaust. But I wonder if any of them still would have fit into them because of their bone structure. Photos can be photo shopped to make it look like the diaper fits them better.

One man on youtube made a video of him putting on a vintage Luvs size 6 diaper from the late 90’s and he put it on and it fit him well but someone in the comments could see he did a trick in the video. The man eventually fessed up and said the video was a joke and he did to a trick in it. Camera tricks and clever editing he said.

Here is the video:

It looks like he used a plain white adult diaper and had stuffers inside of it and he somehow put one tab on each side. It could have been one of those old Pampers looking adult diapers that are shaped like a rectangle and they have one tab on each side. You can get the picture labels printed off the computer and put them on your diaper. He even said in the description it’s a comedic twist.

Edit: I must add after I wrote all this, I decided to mess with the right side of the Safeway diaper and the front end ripped off. I like adult diapers better and too bad AB ones are expensive. At least I don’t ever have to worry about if the sides will ever pop off or rip. Baby diapers are not made for adults, they are made for small kids and adult diapers hold a lot more than baby ones for an adult. I guess I will have better luck with these baby diapers and other times, not so much luck.

Wow, what a trip

I wore diapers off and on on the trip because I swam, well not really, I hate swimming, if I go in the water, I prefer it’s real hot out and if we go boating or going on water slides. I suppose I could just swim for exercise.

I brought size 6 diapers with and while I can get them on, the front sides rip off like a half hour later because I think they are not made for tabs to go there and they are made for the caretaker to grip onto while putting the diaper on the child. But if I force the tabs to go on the actual diaper, the side on the left eventually rips. I also have to use mailing tape to keep it on and the tabs leave marks on my skin so I want to try a size 7. Last time I tried size 7 Cruisers, that was 11 years ago and they barely fit me then so the sides dug into my side and one of the tabs snapped one time. I didn’t like them so I gave them away on craigslist. I remember leaving them on the front stoop of my aunt and uncle’s house where I lived then and told the person in email who wanted them that I had left them on the front stoop behind the rocking chair next to the front door. When I got back, they were gone so I assume that person got them. They were given to me by a guy I dated once for one day so I gave them away since I paid nothing for them. He was a nice guy and pretty wealthy but I didn’t like his road rage and I wasn’t impressed so I never went out with him again. Not something I wanted my future kids to be exposed to. But now that I have lost weight, I want to try them again.

The size 6 diapers fit me like bikini underwear do and they fit me how my swim bottoms fit. I wore the diaper under it a couple times. I like how snug they feel on me but sadly the padding does not go all the way up the back so I am not impressed there and I am a big wetter so those wouldn’t hold me all day. I did wear them out in public under Tru Fit and used them and then I leaked a little and changed. I got the whole entire padding wet. I am average build so it’s not like I am too fat, my BMi is 18 so I am very close to being underweight and I am not sure if I had lost more unintentionally. I saw bones sticking out of my back and mostly my back bone and the fact how well I can feel it sticking out it’s no wonder my parents made a comment about me being too skinny and that I needed to put some weight on. My back doesn’t look quite like an anorexic, I can see my bones if I stretch my back but just standing normal without a stretch, they are not seen and I can barely see my other bones. I did eat a lot when I got home, mostly rice and I had one piece of steack and a couple McDonalds fries and two pieces of Hersey’s chocolate. Now I feel stuffed. I was starving and had been waiting to get home to eat. I called my husband when I stopped for gas and told him to start dinner at normal time so it will be ready when we get back. I did bring some food with, mostly pudding and I only had pudding and that was it. Plus a candy bar I bought at the gas station and my son shared some of his candy with me and my daughter shared some of her gummy worms. I am also 5 ‘7’ so I am not very short. I am taller than average and barely tall enough for model height. That will also affect how baby diapers fit because of my height. I think even XL pull ups for up to 125 lbs fit me higher but not as high as adult diapers. I can also fit into 5T pull ups but I didn’t like them because they don’t hold much. I think Goodnites would hold more than a 5T pull up. I am still trying to tone my butt up to make it smaller. That is where most of my body fat goes, into my butt and thighs. I am still trying to make those smaller too through work outs. I also still want to make my lower belly flatter.

I wore a Dotty the Pony Diaper on the way home because they hold a lot and I leaked a little because I had it on since last night so I changed at a gas station when my kids needed to go potty. I was in such a rush to get out of there, I didn’t bury the diaper well but it was rolled up. My daughter was with me and she didn’t really notice I had it in my hand and tossed it in the trash. She was too busy looking at the door. I just wanted to get home this day so I drove fast like most other cars about ten miles faster than the speed. I did get my daughter car sick because of all the curves in the mountains so that slowed us down a little because I had to clean her up.

I also bought Luvs in Montana because I thought I was going to use up the Cruisers but I didn’t. I wore the Dotty ones to Glacier Park and had it on all day because I knew there wouldn’t be lot of restrooms around so I wore that diaper to last me all day. I didn’t wear any diapers in the water this time because of how they swell and explode and the fact my swim suit wouldn’t hide the Dotty ones. I did wear the Pampers to bed once and decided never again because then I have to change in the middle of the night and the fact I wet big sometimes. I say they are good for heavy periods or of you are a dribbler than a big pee-er.

When I went and bought some Luvs at Wal Mart, they only had size 7 for Parents Choice but they only had them in cases, not packs. They were the cheapest but the box didn’t say if the sides were stretchy so I didn’t gamble. Then I saw the reviews online about them not being absorbent and many parents left negative comments about it on the Wal Mart website. The other diapers I saw there were either a size 5 or 6, no 7s. So me looking at Pampers trying to decide what different ones to get to try out was like me trying to figure out what diapers to get so I went with Luvs since the pack said the sides were stretchy. I didn’t see that with Pampers for the other kind but for the other pack and it was a size 5. I have no idea how the Luvs will hold and how they will fit.

I wonder if I could still get a size 6 on and how they would fit if I were 135 lbs or 130? I can barely get a size 6 on now because they are on the edges. They fit me like this:

Emma isn’t fat either and she also barely fits them. But I am a couple inches taller than her. But I think she has a better body than me. Her tummy is more fit than mine and my back legs are full of loose skin and cellulite and she doesn’t have any. I had let myself get 50 lbs heavier because I didn’t know any better and was not aware of how much weight I was putting on then because I was only 12 and my mom would say I just grew or that the outfit just shrunk than telling me I had put on weight and I just needed to eat less sweets and eat less portions during meals and drink more water than calorie drinks. But yet it’s so frowned upon to tell your kids the truth about their size so you have to lie to them by saying it just shrunk or that they grew. But luckily I figured that out on my own that I just simply needed to lose weight and wa lah, some of my old clothes were fitting me again. Then it was exciting to go clothes shopping again with my mother and buying smaller sizes and getting rid of clothes that got too big on me so it was the opposite when we went school shopping for clothes. I still wished my mom had just told me the truth but I can also understand why she would lie to me by using fatlogic. Like I say, it’s frowned upon to tell your kid the truth about their weight. It’s seen as shaming and being abusive and I see people make negative comments online about parents doing that to their kids. And here I am wishing “But I wish my mom did that to me, then it might have kept me from weighing more as a 7th grader. I would have taken food more seriously and healthy eating but I guess she didn’t want me to end up having an eating disorder.” But because of that, I now have to deal with all these stretchmarks and cellulite and loose skin around my butt and thighs so they will always look fat and I can’t get it surgically removed because it’s not bad enough. So I am trying to tone it hoping it will make it look good than ugly. My butt and hips is where most of my body fat goes so that is why those areas look bad like old lady skin because of weight loss. I am sure those areas looked better when I had on more weight. I wonder if parents are so worried about teens getting eating disorders, they don’t tell them the truth about their bodies, not because it’s frowned upon. Hey, I was a child so I didn’t know what I was doing and I didn’t know I was actually putting on weight so that was why I wished my mom had told me. She had no problems telling me I had breasts and a woman’s body but yet she couldn’t tell me about my size and the fact I had put on weight from eating too much and the fact the pills I was on was making me hungry all the time so my mind is tricking me? What kind of logic is this? Instead, it did the opposite and she wondered why I was so obsessed about my weight and saw myself bigger than I really am even after weight loss? Then I eventually had an eating disorder. Not telling me did the opposite. So either way can cause an eating disorder, it doesn’t matter what choice the parent makes. You can’t win as a parent because either way can cause damage and I bet not every child will end up with one if parents did one of the two. That makes me think I will not make the same mistake with my own children. I will be honest with them about it so they understand and can make the right choices and not end up with ugly skin after weight loss or lot of stretch marks. I will tell them about my experience so they understand where I am coming from and I don’t want them to make the same mistake as me because their own grandmother didn’t tell me.

I never thought baby diapers would fit me again because back then, they didn’t make stretchy sides so no baby diaper would fit me even when I was a skinny child and the largest size nearly fit me when I was ten. I could get one side fastened but not the other. Now with how they are made today, I bet I would have definitely fit into them easily. I fit into toddler pull ups well because of the stretchy sides but baby diapers didn’t have them then. By the time size 6 had came out, I was no longer skinny. But if they had came out the year before, I bet they might have fit me. I doubt the 1998 size 6 Pampers would fit me. They were made different then and lacked the stretchy sides. I think they were still making plastic backed diapers then too.