If ABDL got treated like LGBT

This is something I see come up now and then in the ABDL community about age identity. I still don’t believe in it and I don’t think it’s the same as being transgender. Why? Because if age identity got treated the same as transgender these following things could happen:

Jesse has always felt like a seven year old so she decided to start identifying as a seven year old. Now that she is seven, she is now going to have to change her legal age and change the year she is born and will have to do this every year. Now that she has had her age changed, now she needs parent guardians because seven year olds don’t live on their own and make their own adult decisions. They need a mommy or daddy to do that for them and to raise them. Now that she is seven, she now has to either go to school or be homeschooled because it’s the law that kids have to go to school and seven year olds attend school. She also is not allowed to drive because she is seven. She also cannot smoke or drink or go to places on her own because she is seven. She can no longer vote because she is seven and now she has rules to follow and has restrictions about what she can watch and what she can do online. She can no longer do social networking because she is seven. She also can no longer work so she must do odd jobs and do chores to earn an allowance because she is seven. Oh and if she has kids, what happens, should she get them taken because seven year olds don’t have kids and shouldn’t be raising them. What if she is married? Oh she has to now get a divorce and her marriage is now invalid because seven year olds can’t get married. They also can’t be having sex so bye bye sex life. Is this what they want?

Now try two years old. Imagine what your life would be like if you tried to identify as a two year old. Do you want that lifestyle? It can’t be changed like how gender identity can’t be changed.

Feeling younger isn’t the same thing.

I was reading a thread on raisedbynarcissists on Reddit and it reminded me of a story about Jerry that has something to do with ABDL slightly.

I remember the day when Jerry kept telling me how stupid he is. I kept telling him he was not because I didn’t think he was. He knew how to fix cars, he could drive, he worked, he had a good sense of direction and had a GPS in his head because he once worked as a delivery driver and he remembered lot of stuff and told good stories about when he was still with his ex. But no he kept insisting he was stupid. I kept saying he was not and the more he kept on saying it, I realized he was stupid in one area. ABDL because he kept comparing AB to pedophilia so I finally agreed with him and told him he is stupid about ABDL because he won’t listen to me about it when I try to educate him about it and he keeps thinking adult babies are real babies and calling people who love them as a pedophile. There came the tears and he started to sob. I was “self centered” and I had made him cry. It was my fault for what I did. He laid on his bed and cried and cried. Now I had to try and find a way to make him feel better so I told him everyone is stupid. We’re all stupid in certain subjects. Not all of us want to listen and learn things and understand so we’re stupid there. We’re all stupid. Smart people can be stupid, smoking is stupid and smart people still do it, smart people still do drugs. We’re all stupid. I also laid on top of him to try and make him feel better.

After knowing for a year now he is a narcissist, I wonder if this was manipulation he was doing. Those fake tears, trying to fish for a compliment and it backfired so next came the crying. I don’t know if I gave him what he wanted but he was all of a sudden better and the tears were gone. I realize this is not “normal” behavior and “normal” people don’t do this. “Normal” people wouldn’t keep on putting themselves down and keep on doing it after being told what they think of themselves isn’t true and then finally crying when the person does finally agree with them. I even told him he was the one who kept saying he was stupid after I told him he was not so he pushed me to say he is stupid. Then he said “you were supposed to say “No you are not stupid.” Oh so because I wasn’t saying those exact lines, he kept on pushing it and then he cried when he didn’t hear that line and because he didn’t get that line from me, I was “self centered” and he blamed it on my diagnoses. Then the whole thing was over. But he never did this scheme again.

But this sort of thing is very familiar I read in raisedbynarcissists. It’s as if the N tries to egg their victim to tell them something they don’t want to hear or trick them to say it so when the victim does have the balls to say it, the N blames it on them. It was as if my ex was trying to egg me to tell him he is dumb and then there comes the crocodile tears while in the other stories I read, it’s the gas lighting and the blame being put on the victim and the N going into rage while my ex did it in a covert way I had started to think there was something wrong with me and I could never do anything right. But I say when my nex did this to me, it backfired so he never did this again. I instead put the blame on him. I unintentionally played his game and because I did, it was the “Asperger’s” that did it and I was “self centered.”

And people sometimes ask me how did I even get into a relationship with this guy. I know they don’t mean it literally, they are just saying why was I with him if he was a jerk. That is a very difficult question to answer, it’s difficult for anyone to answer.

But in the thread it was pretty hilarious when the OP wrote that her Nmom told her she had abused her as a baby too, she was crying all the time and my reaction was “just when did it become parental abuse to cry?” being sarcastic of course and then I said anyone who thinks that is abusive is mental. I don’t say my kids abuse me just because my son liked to smear feces on walls as a two year old and now my daughter likes playing with her poop and getting it on herself and she got it on her toy piano and her bedroom door yesterday and I don’t say my kids are abusing me by being loud and rowdy and my son riling my daughter up with his hyperactivity. I know they are not doing it to torment me. They’re kids. I have them outside right now playing while I sit on the porch typing this. But sometimes I do find humor in these narc stories. The victims find humor too also. Sometimes you have to find humor in a abusive situation to make a light of it. I do now look at my ex as having a temper tantrum when we were together. Him calling me self centered, him getting upset with me and mad at me and crying, all him throwing a tantrum just like a young child. Even one aspie told me on ADISC he thinks my ex was just using his emotions as an excuse to get his way so it’s not that he was over sensitive. Back then I just saw it as his opinion and now I think he is right. The Nmom in the OP’s thread had asked her if she ever made any mistakes in her parenting and the OP dared to say yes and bam the mother accuses her of arguing with her and telling her to quit blaming her and she did nothing wrong and that she abused her as a baby because she was crying all the time and she doesn’t complain. Then some people share their stories and it felt familiar to this I went through when my ex wouldn’t quit telling me how stupid he is.

Having my husband diaper check me

Yesterday I was in the kitchen cooking mac and cheese for myself and the kids. I had two kettles on the stove because I was cooking one of each, one Finding Dory and the other regular mac and cheese.

My husband came in the kitchen and started rubbing my butt and he said I was wet. I had just changed so I told him that and he said it felt wet. I said again I just changed it. Then I offered to show him and he said he believed me. But I pulled my pants down anyway and showed him my diaper while bending down and he said “Oh you’re dry.”

I did it right in the kitchen. There was no one else in the room.

Also what is it with rashes I keep getting on my skin. They are little bumps that itch and my mom killed all the fleas this weekend and I am still getting random itches and rashes. I know they’re not flea bites because they appear during the day for no reason at all and at work. If this doesn’t go away I would have to go to the doctor. But I will check first with everyone to see if they are still getting these rashes. I have most of them on my lower legs.

Went to a AB munch in a long time

It’s been a while since I last been to a AB munch. Maybe four years? I skipped my group today and went here instead because I knew it would be too exhausting to go to both social groups. I was already exhausted from taking my son to Dave & Buster’s because I had a $20 coupon that was about to expire in a couple days. I saw he was a bit still too young and I had to kick two little kids out of a gaming machine because they weren’t even playing the game, just pretending to play so I was polite to them about it and they left. I used to do that as a kid too but I don’t see the reason why my son and I should stand outside and wait if they are not even playing the game. I even let him get a Dave & Buster’s bear because he wanted a stuffed animal and I didn’t want my son using up all his points with the claw machine so I took him to the prize area and he picked put a stuffed animal from there. I had enough tickets on my card because I hoard them. They never expire and you can save them for another time so I use them for prizes I like. He nearly used them up but that is okay. But we did win some tickets together. Once I let him get the Teddy Bear now than waiting, he was able to play the games finally. He used most of them on some fishing game. We were gone for less than two hours. Then another thing I did was going to a nature park with my mother with my son and my nephew. But I am thinking about I should take my son more often to Dave & Buster’s every time I get a coupon. I have been taking my kids out more every weekend for the past three weeks.

I changed my diaper before I went to the AB munch and it was at Round Table Pizza this time. It was smelling like piss because I could smell it so if I could smell it, everyone could probably too so I didn’t want to go there smelly and have everyone else there smell it. I am sure they wouldn’t want to smell a wet diaper even though they wear them themselves and also use them. I was early so no one was there so I just waited in the car and played my Nintendo 3DS. Then I saw people arriving so I got out of my car and went inside. I asked if they were there for the munch and they said yes. They ordered food and then more people came and we went in the room. I saw they had brought markers along and pens and crayons and coloring books so I colored. I got to see a couple people I hadn’t seen in years and I even saw Pamperchu (the one who microwaves used diapers) and we talked for a few minutes and then he went back to other people and started talking to them again. I only ordered a drink because I was thirsty and not hungry and even if I was, I still wouldn’t have eaten. I colored by numbers there and did dot to dot and a maze and then I played my video games and finished reading a book on Kindle Unlimited.

Then around eight I went home and I was so exhausted I rested and I thought I was going to sleep because I felt like I was going to pass out but couldn’t get to sleep so I got up. The passing out feeling went away.

Got sick at work

For the past five years it’s been normal for me to get sharp cramps in my abdominal area and then have diarrhea. It doesn’t happen all the time anymore like it used to for about a year and now it doesn’t happen every month anymore.

I had finally noticed a pattern, every time I have drank too much eater, it makes my bowel system act up and then I get sharp cramps and then have diarrhea. Today it was warm out so I drank lot of water because I was thirsty so I brought water to work with me. I filled it at the drinking fountain and work and while I was getting the compost, I start to feel the cramps again. Then they go away. Then when I was doing the second day care, the pain was getting worse and I didn’t bring any extra diapers with and I wasn’t going to keep racing to the toilet to see if I will finally take a dump than have gas. ┬áSo I hold off and keep working hoping I won’t have an accident. There was another co worker with me and I didn’t want to go home smelling like shit and get a rash. Then when I get the dust mopping after I am done getting all the trash, I head to the restroom and I can feel it coming. I feel I am going to fart and I feel the pain and I try and hold it in. I head in the bathroom and take off my diaper and I poop after I sat down on the toilet seat. It was very runny and soft and it smelled like popcorn. I pooped again in the same toilet and I sat there for like ten minutes and then I called it quits and pulled my diaper back up and taped the side again.

The cramps didn’t come back, they did for a few minutes and then they went away and never came back. I guess I cleaned myself out. Just drink lots of water and it will be a painful experience but why does this always have to happen at work? It always feels I am always at work whenever this happens.

Messy diaper change

I pooped in my diaper again today and my husband felt too sick to his stomach to change me so I had to do it myself. I went in the basement and changed and it took lot of wipes to clean up and I got some poop on the floor and accidentally stepped in it so I had to take off my socks and then I saw I had some poop on my bare feet so I had to clean that up. It was like stepping in dog shit or cat shit or geese shit. I even had to use a towel to quit stepping on poop and then I had to wet it down and wipe up the floor. Then I rolled the diaper up with the used wipes and put it in the diaper pail.

Then I decorated some of my diapers using stickers and mailing tape. Who needs printed diapers or diaper stickers when you can buy your own sticker sheets and stick on the stickers yourself? It’s a lot cheaper. Right now I am wearing a Teletubby diaper I made.

I changed out of my used diaper before taking the kids out and here are some photos:

Warning: There is a photo of a open used diaper at the bottom. I couldn’t get the url to show only.

Me in my messy wet diaper.

The back.

These are good diapers. I can flood them without it leaking or feeling like I am sitting in a puddle.

 

 

 

 

 

My used diaper