So I got up to 134 and I was going to be heading for another eating disorder which I don’t want so I decided to join a gym and start working out. I didn’t want to get fat and I worried my weight will keep going up and up and before I know it I would be back at my high school weight followed by my Junior high weight and I didn’t want that and then be obese because that is how people get fat in the first place or overweight. So I joined a gym and started to work out there three times a week and also doing some weight lifting and what do you know, my weight went back down again and I could finally eat again without any anxiety and I got down to 129 again and then I was at 127 at the 4th of July and gained a couple of pounds from food and then lost that couple of pounds again in a few days. I also started to run twice a day when I am not working and I run every morning and since it’s summer, I can go run outside but i still kept my gym membership because this weather won’t last long and soon it will be cold again and rainy. It rains here everyday in the fall and winter so don’t move here. Plus when it snows, it becomes a gridlock on the roads and your car becomes unsafe on the road and you are at a higher risk for a collision and this is over a couple inches of snow and it’s very difficult to drive in it here because they don’t sand them or even plow them because we have only a few of them. In Montana, no problem driving in the snow but only because they are equipped for it and my area is not.
But I also decided to start doing classes so I do ZUMBA every Wednesday and Friday and I tried Yoga and I didn’t like it so I only do workouts with weights and use the elliptical on Mondays. I got down to 123 last time I weighed myself and I don’t even starve myself, I still eat three times a day and snacks but I am still losing a pound. My parents decided to give me flack by telling me I am getting to skinny and I needed to eat more food and I am going to look anorexic and getting there. But my BMI is still in the normal range. So to satisfy them, I decided on some sweets for breakfast and told them how many pieces of pie I had and then I had a dairy Queen Blizzard that day but I had a size small.
I have been noticing the tabs on my Bambino diapers and they are closer together now and the top ones are close together and the bottom part of my diaper feels loose in the back and I think that is why I have been leaking lately because they are getting too big on me so I might be in between sizes now even though my hips are now measured 35 inches and I noticed my belly where my navel is shrunk an inch when I measured and my tummy is starting to look fit and I am noticed holes in them now meaning the skin is going in so there is a dip in my tummy on the side. For years I was never satisfied with my body and always felt fat and then accepted no matter how much weight I lose, I will never be happy with my body and it’s all in my head. I got down to 119 once after I had my son and I noticed I had more bones showing on my back and I got scared of being an anorexic I wouldn’t let myself go below 119 no matter how fat I looked and how big my thighs are and my hip size. But now they are shrinking and I am down to 123 as of last week when I last weighed myself. I just had to do different work outs and I think ZUMBA is helping. I did read it does help tone your belly and your body and I do lunges and I lay on the floor and hold my legs up in the air and down again. I read that also helps tone your belly too. Walking on the treadmill won’t help tone your body alone.
Now I might look into smaller sizes now and see if Bambino carries a size small and ABU and stuff and if not, I will still use mediums but try and make the bottom tighter. I have also noticed how far back the front of the diaper goes when I put one on and try and make it tight. The side of the front goes all the way to the back of my buttock.
I still see my big thighs and butt even though I have lost weight. But it’s in my head right?