The “coming out” argument

From time to time I will see gruff posts in the ABDL community about coming out as an ABDL and they see it as comparing it to LGBT and I just saw a thread about it again about last week.

Many of us are aware that being ABDL is not like being LGBT but that still doesn’t minimize the struggles of being a ABDL. We also don’t pick this either or else many of us would have stopped. But we have heard about binge and purge cycles and many of us have also gone through it. I never tossed everything out and then buy it over again. I have never blocked anyone online for being ABDL just to move on. But all these things have happened in the community with others.

No ABDL has ever been murdered for being ABDL.

No ABDL has ever been beaten up for being ABDL.

No ABDL has ever been denied marriage or an adoption for being ABDL.

There have never been any laws against ABDLism. I am not aware of any country that has a law against it either.

But people have been harassed for being ABDL, people have lost their jobs or custody to their ex for being ABDL. All it takes is ignorance.

Oh and kids have been forced into therapy to get over their ABDLism and we all know how successful that is.

While I have written before that being an adult ABDL is a lot easier than being a kid ABDL, it is not easy being a minor with it.

You will have to deal with parents who don’t understand it. Imagine being 12 and you have been going to ABDL sites. Your parent catches you. Now if it had been regular porn, your parents will be able to explain it all to you and have the talk about it and explain all the common kinks but what if your porn was ABDL because you had been into it for a while and you had discovered there are people out there who are also into it. But you get caught with it, your mom does not take it well so she tells you how sick and twisted this all is and how it’s all disgusting. You as the child think you are sick and disgusting and twisted. Now you have all this shame and you can’t talk about it to your school counselor or therapist because you don’t want them to think you are sick and twisted and disgusting. You have no support. You may even think you can get over it by pretending you are not into it so you lie to yourself.

As adults when we are told these things about our fetish, we understand that is just their opinion, they are ignorant so we are not affected by their words but when you are a child, you don’t understand this because they are the adult, adults are always right, they are your teacher. Everything they say are facts and the truth. So these words have affect on you and your self esteem. You are a sick and twisted person and a horrible one but you can’t go to anyone about it because they will think this of you. Your parent had just insulted you and told you how sick you are. So you keep it bottled up inside.

Kids have been disowned or kicked out of their homes for being ABDL, their stuff has been taken from them and thrown out because their parents didn’t approve.

We all know what happens when we try to suppress this about ourselves. Even I have written about before what it was like when I wasn’t acting on it.

Now people don’t need to know about our bathroom habits or what underwear we wear and if anyone finds out about our diapers, we still don’t need to “come out” because we can pass it off as a medical issue and people are not going to say anything when they discover your diapers. I am talking about random people here and co workers and your boss. Your kids don’t need to know about your life style and what their mommy and daddy do in their bedroom or when they are at school or when they are visiting their grandparents or out with their grandparents. They may find out about your diapers but that is it, it’s not like you are walking around in the house wearing nothing over it. I think when they are infants and small toddlers, that isn’t an issue because they won’t remember it. But once they start to show awareness of what is happening around them is time to not do it around them. Some will be a year and a half when you need to stop or some might be older than that.

If your parents discover your diapers, you will need to “come out” because you would want them to know you are not having any medical issues (parents worry about their kids) and you just like wearing them. Plus there will be the smell in your clothes, on your bed, in the trash, so they are going to think you are having accidents and may confront you about it and may start their snooping and even start looking in the trash because they are your parents and parents worry about their kids and they may think you are too embarrassed to say anything. So we will see posts online asking how they can hide their diapers or dispose them. If they “came out”, they wouldn’t have any of these issues. If their parents just accepted, there would be no issue here.

Hiding ABDL from your room mates or your family, people you live with is stressful. I am not saying we should all use our pacifiers or sippy cups or bottles in front of people or openly wear our AB clothing but all these things will eventually be discovered because trying to keep it put away all the time is stressful. Someone is going to find it in your room. If you have a AB nursery, you simply keep that door closed but someone who is nosey could find that room. Even if you lock it, you could forget to lock it one day and that secret room is discovered and how will you explain to guests why they can’t use that spare bedroom? You could call it your study but how will you explain why they still can’t sleep in there? Maybe call it your office and see if that works.

For some ABDLs this is something they do from time to time but for other ABDLs this is something often done so it’s going to be harder to keep it hidden because there will be slip ups and you will forget to put stuff away, especially if someone comes in your room. Even if you do keep it put away, someone in your home could still be looking for something and they find your baby bottles or your kiddie cups and dishes, how do you explain that when you don’t have a child? If you happen to have kids, you can pass that off those dishes belonged to your children of if you have grand kids, you can pass that off for your grand kids and you don’t need to explain anything. If you have kid movies and kid shows and have toys, you can pass that off as being child like and toys are your collectors items. But if they are baby toys, how will you explain that? If you have a room full of toys, how will you explain that?

Mindlessly diapered who has her own websites made a youtube video about being out as ABDL and she simply is honest about herself when her toys are seen and baby stuff and they always think she has a kid and ask where is the baby and she goes “I am the baby.” And lot of people don’t care. She has also gotten hate too for her lifestyle because she lives it 24/7 but she has a job and pays her bills. If she had kids, things might have been worse. But I am sure she wouldn’t be all open like that if she had any and wouldn’t be putting out as many content. That is just common sense. I am also sure her wearing AB clothing and her talking in a babyish voice and acting all immature is just for the videos. Also common sense to make that assumption. I also doubt she goes to work as a ABaby and talking in that voice and acting all immature.

But seriously when you get over the fear of people finding out about your lifestyle, you’re free. In that sense you “come out” when your items are discovered or your diapers if they ask you about it and it can’t be passed off for anything. You can choose to be honest or just lie but many people suck as lying and the truth always comes out so why risk it?

And there is a reason why I don’t have a AB nursery, can you guess why?