More Twitter rant here.
If you have been following my blog for 7 years, you probably know I hate passive aggression. I think I have also mentioned I also have anxiety.
Last night on Twitter, someone posted about how hard 4th of July is for them because of their PTSD. I asked about ear plugs and noise cancelling headphones.
I don’t get a response but I do get several likes so I assume everything is fine.
But today in early noon, I find a post by this person about PTSD and it’s about fireworks. I read it and realized the whole post was about me but it was guised as a general post and as awareness. She also had it tagged as ableism. I checked her profile and saw she had unfollowed me. I felt stabbed because instead of telling me why that solution wouldn’t work, she decided to make that post instead and made me out to be some bigot. First of all, she never said fireworks were illegal where she is. I also know people with PTSD that do stay inside and put on thick headphones and listen to music or watch TV. I was trying to be helpful and supportive and this is what I get? It just makes me not want to talk to people if I am going to be reminded what a horrible person I am because of my social skills. Once someone gets offended by me, I cease interaction with them. I don’t know what else will offend them so I just drop them. I unfollowed her since I would no longer interact and I blocked her too not too long later.
I talked to my husband about it so he would know why I was in a bad mood. Interent stuff again because I had offended someone by mistake and instead of telling me what I said wrong, she had to be passive aggressive about it and unfollow me. I am not going to get offended if you tell me what I do wrong if you aren’t salty about it or mean about it or have some attitude and aren’t passive aggressive about it.
My husband thinks I did nothing wrong and it’s her problem and not mine. I was just trying to be helpful and she took it wrong. I am trying to forget about it and my husband said he doesn’t care when he offends people and it happens to him too. He will never see them again. I decided to forget her and he said “yeah forget her, you will never meet her.”
Maybe I did nothing wrong. How am I supposed to know since other PTSD people have used that stuff, even autistic people use them too for in public to avoid sensory overload. I dont think I have seen any of them scream “ableism” whenever someone suggested noise cancelling headphones. But she decided to take my question and turn it into something else.
I don’t normally block people on twitter but this time I did because she had stabbed me and I didn’t want to deal with her if she sees my rant on there too.
My anxiety just makes me not want to talk to people because I could offend them with my social skills and then they will block me or ignore me because of something I said and it makes me feel terrible. Then when I finally get myself out there, something like this happens and I am reminded again why I have anxiety and reminded how bad I am at socializing. I have messed up a lot and been singled out and rejected. I have also been stabbed in the back too. Now it just makes me angry so I have the “fuck you” attitude. So sick of this bullshit.
After getting support on Adisc, Heidi, my friend from Daily Diapers, my husband, I have come to realize this was not a social and communication issue on my end and it was just the other person with the problem. I still think I made the right choice in blocking her. I wouldn’t have realized I did nothing wrong if it weren’t for me posting about it. Some people really do suck.