“What do you do at night?”

My son asked me this when I picked him up from school. I told him I do the computer and he asked me why I wanted him not in my bed and what do I do in there. I didn’t want to tell him I wanted my husband to change my diaper and we can’t do it when he is in there sleeping and I can’t use my pacifier when he is in there so I told him instead he needed to be in his own bed, I slept in my own bed when I was a kid, he needs to sleep in his own bed. Parents want their kids to sleep in their own beds and they want privacy.

His last day of school is this week so he asked me if he could sleep in my bed again as a last day of school present that day and I told him “stay out of my bed all this week and you can.” He gets excited and starts thanking me. Then I had to be more clear by telling him that means he also can’t be on my couch and he needs to stay out of my room and stay in his own bed at night.

I have no idea if he really takes things literal or if he is just finding loopholes to test his limits like most kids do. Now let’s see if he will be sleeping outside my bedroom door, at least he wouldn’t be in my room. I thought of that one too and decided I wouldn’t care if he decides to sleep right outside my door on the hardwood floor so I didn’t mention that.

Went without a diaper

My bottom needed airing out because it has been feeling uncomfortable, even with rash cream. There is no sign of a rash. So I decided to sleep on that Northshore Care underpad. Oh boy it was a hard night. It did not feel good to go without a diaper and luckily I never felt the urge to pee so everything was good. I guess my body was having a good night because I wasn’t getting up like every ten minutes to relieve the bladder feeling. But I kept itching down there so I kept on scratching. I don’t feel this way with a diaper on until I take it off. I also kept getting phantom feelings like I had something dripping on my skin but it was all dry when I kept feeling it and I kept feeling poop oozing out of my butt hole but that was all in my head.

I did eventually sleep and then I was woken to my alarm to get to my Disney Magic Kingdoms game to pop those blimps. I go downstairs naked and do the game and I sit on no protection. I level up 3 characters and then level up Honey Lemon. I am leveling up all my Big Hero 6 characters because I am predicting they will be used for the next upcoming event because the daily calendar rewards are giving away that legendary chest and Winnie the Pooh one. I have maxed out my Pooh characters I have. I also pop all the blimps and send their characters on their missions again and go back to bed. I am still dry on the pad so that is good and I still used the toilet but had to squeeze out the urine. Then there was no toilet paper so I dripped urine after I stood up which is pretty normal. I had to use my hand to catch any drips as I went to my room for more TP. I keep it all in there because my kids use way too much so I keep it all out of the bathrooms. I clean up the drips on my body and wash my hand in the bathroom and go back to bed.

Then I got up again a few hours later and couldn’t get back to sleep and I decided it was so uncomfortable to go without a diaper but then I also felt the urge to pee but was too lazy to get out of bed and I didn’t want to pee on myself so I held it. Then my son was in my room and I had to kick him out so I could get dressed. I also didn’t bother using the toilet again and I just put a diaper on and peed in it but it wasn’t much urine. I felt a lot better being in a diaper and I think my bottom is feeling a little better too. I guess I have gotten totally used to diapers, it’s just so uncomfortable to go without. I guess it’s no wonder why some toddlers don’t want to quit wearing them and why toilet training is so hard for parents. It was tough with my son and now he doesn’t want to wear a diaper for his leaky bowels. My online friend thinks it’s because he associates diapers with female and mom. But I am thinking it’s because my husband sometimes teases him about it because he whines and gets upset over trivial stuff and sometimes goes from being fine and all of a sudden he is screaming and crying and it happens abruptly. It’s like he had flipped the switch. My husband will say to him “Are you a baby, should we put you back in diapers, we can go to the store now and get you some?” and he is screaming “no” and then my husband tells him “Then stop acting like a baby.” Even when he shits his pants, my husband tells him the same thing “Do we need to get you some diapers? Then start eating what we give you, you are constipated because you won’t eat the good stuff.” I am now telling him “no wonder he won’t wear when he should because you shame him about it.” I am also to blame because I enabled it by doing nothing when it would happen.

You would think with his mom wearing them, he would think “diapers are not for babies” but putting myself in kid shoes, how would I feel if I was being told I am a baby for pooping my pants or for crying like a baby and being threatened to be put in diapers? Even my 3rd grade teacher used to tell his students “Do you want me to pull out a baby diaper and put it on you?” Like I say, we shame in our American culture and that was his funny way of calling us out on our behavior and telling us to grow up. I thought then he actually had a box of pampers in his closet and would pull one out and put it on us. He also would ask us if we wanted him to slap our hand like a two year old. It was always too humiliating for me to say yes so I always said no. I wondered what would have happened if I had said yes? I was in 6th grade when I realized this was all a bluff because he would have gotten fired if he actually did that. Plus other kids would play along because they would sometimes tell me he kept them in the cupboard over there or in that closet over there (which was a door to the other room) and one of them told me he once put a diaper on her in 2nd grade (he taught 2nd/3rd grade blend) so he could do it to me. I believe them back then. I am pretty sure they knew he was bluffing but I took it all seriously because I was a gullible child and took everything literal it was no wonder kids thought I was dumb and stupid or retarded or slow. So I am pretty sure that was why kids would play along with our teacher by telling me these things. Years later I discovered ABDL stories of people being forced into diapers by their parents or caregivers and I enjoyed it. Mmm could this have been the start of it, going from 3rd grade of my teacher and other kids about the diapers and my way to liking the idea of being forced into diapers? Now my husband is dong it to our son so to me this isn’t any different. I’ve shared with my son that I had a teacher who used to tell us he would put a baby diaper on us and that was his humorous way of telling us to act our age.

But yet I am also different so my son could also be thinking “mommy wears diapers because she got problems” so he could also be associating diapers with people who are different and he wants to be normal. At least it was easier to potty train my daughter.

Once I had my diaper on again, I felt like a child who was glad to be back in a diaper again. I will never go to bed without a diaper again.