7 years of 24/7 and the progress

After being put back in diapers 7 years ago with some attempt in re potty training me šŸ˜‰ here has been the progress so far:

I still have bladder control and bowel control

It is uncomfortable to go without a diaper

I do have to pee a lot because even some urine in my bladder makes me feel I have to go pee

When I have to poop, it is uncomfortable to hold it and it feels it really wants to come out

I still have to get in certain positions sometimes to pee when I am sitting

I can actually just go when I feel a slight urge to pee

I can poop in my diaper in less than a minute after feeling the urge, sometimes it takes a little longer when I am relaxing

Depending on how soft the poop is, I can just go without really pushing it out and squatting so I have done it around my kids and nephews since they don’t pay attention. I even did it once while playing Monopoly with my son. I did it while sitting on the floor and I was on my feet anyway and we were at the coffee table on the floor. I’ve never done it around any adults yet

I sometimes pee while walking depending on my bladder when I am relaxing it but most of the time I can’t do it

Still can’t wet myself on a moving train but have done it while we were stopped and it depends on my bladder

Still can’t wet my diaper while driving with people in the car but for some reason my body is fine with kids and my bladder has to be full enough for me to do it and that is from relaxing and concentrating

I can pee lying on my back but not on my side

I have pooped sitting but that doesn’t happen often and when I stand, I can finally do it.

I have wet my diapers off and on without thinking about it or remembering when it happened

My poop has gotten soft and it’s not hard anymore like it used to be

I still don’t poop in my diaper without thinking about it

It doesn’t feel exciting anymore to be in them 24/7 because it becomes normal and part of my routine, same as for messing and peeing in them

Diapers are now my underwear. My mother has been calling them that now. I guess that is her way of normalizing it. Part of me wishes she would still call it a diaper because I feel it’s like diapers are something to be ashamed about

I don’t hear any diaper comments in the house anymore. I guess everyone had gotten used to it

My diapers have gone from “mommy diapers” to “plastic underwear” by my son. I wonder if he actually knows or if he is just being polite. Sometimes he will poke at them or tug at them and I tell him to stop and he goes “Plastic underwear.”

People at work probably know or it was just a coincidence someone had left their Northshore Underpad on my cart

Both my kids are happy and don’t seem to be confused and they have survived me wearing diapers 24/7. Where is the trauma and all the bad affects on them of me wearing trolls out there love to make up? I must be doing it wrong if my children are happy and don’t seem to be affected. Someone give me a guide on “How to fuck your kids up by you wearing diapers 24/7.”

I am happy to have proven my mother wrong and for her to see both my kids are happy and out of diapers and have no interest in them

I have worn cloth and only wore disposables to work and out of the house if gone all day and now I am now an exclusive disposable wearer. No more cloth

I still go through 2 diapers a day on average, 3 if I have a Red Bull.

I still have not woken up wet after going to bed dry and I will wake up at night and wet my diaper and go back to sleep. I don’t wake up wetter either after going to bed in a wet diaper

My mom is no longer critical about my “underwear.”

I have never done any 12 month programs nor even tried to become incontinent. I decided if it happens it happens and 7 years on, I still have control and I finally learning it’s a myth to lose bladder control of wearing. I know people out there will claim it but I have noticed they already had bladder problems to begin with and they decide to go 24/7 and they notice their lack of bladder control and ones out there with a normal bladder that make that claim could just be lying because it’s the internet. I have even read stories online by people saying they have urinated in pools and get kicked out because they had that chemical that turns color. No such thing exists so those stories were obvious lies.

This has been my diaper progress in the last 7 years of wearing 24/7.

My ABU Order

They got a big stock so I just had to get more and I pay for diapers anyway every month. I will just pay them again next week when we are given our money.

I got a mixed case and one of the packs was ABU Simple and the other pack was PeekABU and I got 2 packs of stickers.

Yesterday the order was still processing and today my package had came. My kids have accepted I get a big box every month and then I give it to them after I empty it out.

I took the package up to my room and cut the tape using a small screwdriver and then ripping it open. I take the packs out and open the ABU Simple and the envelopes with the sticker sheets and I put them on the diapers.

I’ve been in the mood for printed diapers I guess due to stress. I wanted a pack of Lavander but they didn’t get more in stock.

My son knocked and came in my room to ask me if I wanted to play video games and he didn’t seem to notice what I was working on. Like I say, I don’t really hide it but I still keep my diaper station covered and diapers in the closet and I had to put the other ABU diapers behind the curtain. I have also been buying some IC shields that go in your underwear to use as stuffers I find at Goodwill. I have not found any size 6 or 7 diapers and I didn’t get the Pampers slip ons cruisers I saw yesterday at the store. The size said up to 37 lbs from 25 lbs.

My son doesn’t really look my way and he says “Don’t worry, I won’t look” and goes back to talking about playing Super Smash Bros with his cousins yesterday. I don’t know if that meant he knew what I was doing. I can’t read his mind. He also asked about the empty box and I said he could have it.

I organized my Simple diapers by baby girl and the kitty cat ones by Baby girl, kitty cat, baby girl and stack them on the shelf and put the Crinklz diapers on top of them and put the blanket over it. Then I played the game with my son. We did two ten minute rounds and won the first and lost the second.

Is WordPress after us now?

Featured

First it was Tumblr removing ABDL content due to their change of policy so many ABDLs shut down their blogs. I still kept my Tumblr page up since all I do is repost ABDL pictures or themed ones or reblog ABDL stuff. I haven’t gone there in a while so it’s pretty much dead.

Now I see baby Emma had her wordpress (abdlgirl.com) suspended. She also had 3 other WordPress blogs too and they were all suspended. Has WordPress changed their TOS now and are they now going after ABDL blogs?

I just looked through my links and saw two dead ones, (one was private) so I removed them both. I have not gone though all my following blogs lists yet but the abdlgirl one is still there.

So if this blog disappears, that would be WordPress suspending it. But I will still be at Twitter, Dailydiapers, Adisc and some other websites.

Underwear fetish

I am reading a book called I’d Rather Eat Chocolate by Joan Sewell. In the book she writes in chapter 12 about how women get turned on by underwear so they will wear thong underwear or any other fancy type of underwear and lot of women want to feel sexual about themselves when they wear one.

I already knew there were men out there that get turned on by women in underwear and I was sure some women would just wear some sexy panties to turn their partner on.

It got me thinking if that is how people feel about their underwear, I am sure that is how ABDLs feel about their diapers. When I have worn underwear, I never wore it to feel sexy and turned on. I would just wear whatever I felt comfortable in and if I liked the look of it and I liked pattern underwear and ones with prints. I noticed most bikini underwear had prints on them and granny panties were boring and plain color or had boring patterns. Bikini underwear had Disney characters and even The Powerpuff Girls in women sizes and other prints. So I had to learn to like bikini underwear if I wanted childish looking underwear and if there were bikini underwear in girl sizes, I could also start wearing some myself. So at 15, I started to wear more bikini underwear even though I had low rise underwear at age 14 and they were the 7 days of the week underwear. But they were still bikini underwear.

Years later I had tossed it all out because they were all worn and no way would anyone want to buy them and they would have been tossed out if I had donated them to charity or Goodwill. I had only a couple pairs that were still in good shape so I sold those at a yard sale. Another reason why I wore underwear was because it was what we all did and plus it was to catch my vaginal discharge and I needed something to hold my pad when I’d get my period. I was shocked to find out as an adult how not everyone wears underwear including women and I wonder what do they do about their period? Hopefully they are wearing something or do they wear a pull up? I also wonder what about their vagina discharge, so they just drip it down their legs or in their crotch area onto their pants? Even I found out my mom always had slept naked even without underwear on so I asked her didn’t she get vagina discharge on her sheets on on her legs? She said she didn’t. I guess not all women have lot of it and they only have very little and I always had tons of it so I would drip it. I guess that is why those small pads exist. I started to use toilet paper in my teens because I got tired of feeling wet in my crotch and dripping through my underwear. Now I don’t think about it anymore because I now wear diapers and I can just drip it into my diaper. I do the same with my period too. I don’t really have it bad because of the IUD so I just spot or it’s only in my vagina and I see it when I wipe.

I feel the same way about diapers, I don’t wear them to get a thrill out of it or to get off on wearing them under my clothes like I did with underwear when I wore them.

If women can wear underwear under their clothes to feel sexual about it, how is a diaper any different? I say this because I have seen ABDLs say how one shouldn’t wear their kink under their clothes and it’s forcing it on others. So I will say, how is doing this with underwear any different, some women wear sexy panties under their clothes to feel sexual about themselves, same reason as why some DLs might wear a diaper under their clothes to feel sexual. When I think about it like this, the whole “wearing your diaper under your clothes is forcing your kink on others” sounds ridiculous. I have also read on Fetlife in comments that DLs wear their diaper out in public to get a thrill and hoping to get caught. Talk about projection, that isn’t why I do it. I don’t doubt that is what some DLs do.

I am totally enjoying the rest of the book and chapter 18 made me laugh because she wrote about her ideal episode on Oprah Winfrey, instead of women trying to raise their libido, it’s about men trying to lower their libido and it’s wrecking their marriage and making women leave them and I was laughing on the train while I started reading it because it was so funny. It made me realize that sex really is over rated as I have always felt before. Why are women treated as broken for not having a high sex drive? I don’t normally relate to other women but I related to this part this time about what she expressed about how she feels about men and their high sex drives and how society is way too obsessed with sex. I used to get frustrated with my husband about him wanting sex and I would suggest he go look at porn or go give himself a hand job or go get a sex doll or a fleshlight and none of these were good enough because he wanted me.

So what would I do about it? I would try to avoid doing anything that would get him turned on. Can’t walk around wearing only a diaper, can’t dress up as a ABaby, can’t even be in the same room as him or he will want sex. I used to just wish he would lose his sex drive and one day it happened, his medical condition got worse, now he is always in more pain so he often can’t have sex but as in return, he is now disabled and I mean he can no longer work and is now on disability. Boy did I get my wish. Be careful what you wish for folks. In this book I am reading, this author also wishes her husband would end up in a wheelchair or something so he can’t have sex. Then she wrote that is awful of her to even wish such a thing on him. Yeah I totally get it, I used to wish my husband would just get a sex change I used to call it so he would be female and not have a high of sex drive. Then he would have been female. I did find out in the book that some women do take hormones, the same pills transgender people take, to raise their sex drive but the side affect is getting male traits so is that why there are cis women with facial hair or have masculine looks? The author wrote why couldn’t men take pills to lower their sex drive but they wouldn’t want to take them and have risks of feminine features so why should women?

I am curious how others would feel about this author. Time to hit the reviews I guess.

Things ABDLs make up

Sometimes we hear crazy things in the community about ABDLism. I think we get so paranoid, we start to make shit up. I remember when I was 17, I was convinced you would be fired if they found out you were wearing a diaper. I believed this as a young adult too so when I decided to go 24/7 at age of 21, I only wore Goodnites to work. Yes I would leak there from time to time and it was pretty obvious and no one said anything about it. They had to have noticed but didn’t say a word. Then I moved to another state and get a new job two months later and I wear real diapers there and decided “they won’t know I didn’t wear them before so I can wear them now and they won’t know.” Then I quit 24/7 because I wanted to keep my bladder strong and I read online that feeling the need to go more often was a sign of losing bladder control. Now I think that was just some made up shit there. But I never could wear a real diaper to work again because how could I explain why I wasn’t wearing a diaper anymore and then was again?

I had an online friend say when I was 17 years of age that if anyone fired him for wearing a diaper, he would sue them. Even other people were telling me I can’t get fired for wearing a diaper, I could be incontinent. Even one person tried talking me into wearing 24/7 at 17 years of age and told me people would just think I am incontinent if they realized I had one on. But back then it was not possible due to my diaper phobic mother and because I didn’t have a job and I didn’t make enough allowance to wear diapers 24/7 and I couldn’t buy online so all I had were Wal Mart and the local grocery store. My dad was more liberal about it then because he said I was old enough to make my own decisions and it was probably just a phase and I would grow out of it. Then he said it was probably their fault because they let me wear them as a toddler and didn’t think it was a big deal. They knew I liked wearing them then and didn’t find it a big deal. I was only two and had plenty of time for me to be out of diapers and because I was special needs, they were still able to enroll me into daycare at age 3 unless that daycare took older kids in diapers.

Even my mom had made stuff up about it when I was in 6th grade. Told me none of this was real and people post make believe on the internet, told me I would also lose bladder control if I wore diapers, no one would want to share a dorm with me because they wouldn’t want to smell any diapers. No one would want to marry me either or hire me because of the smelly diapers. My life would be going backwards. Congratulations Mom, I have believed for many years you didn’t like incontinent people because no one would want to deal with the smelly diapers and telling me you wouldn’t have married my father if he wore diapers. I just thought for many years you would not like incontinent people because of their smelly diapers. I had to find out at 17 that was all a big lie and if incontinent people still got married and had kids and went to college, then you can wear diapers and still live a normal life. I am pretty sure mom had told me that lie to get me to stop liking diapers and congratulations, it worked, I put it in a chest and buried it under crap. Now I had lived in denial for 5 years and thought I could get myself to not like them but I was back on ABDL sites again at age 14 and I just couldn’t stay away from that stuff. I did go to DPF at age 13 and then stopped going thinking I could stop liking it. I guess you could call this my own version of the binge and purge cycle. But I slowly unburied that chest from the crap I had buried it under and slowly opened it and I would say it was officially opened when I realized I am a diaper lover and admitted I like diapers and want to wear them. No more lying to myself and pretending. I had been pretending all these years and lying about it to me.

Now fast forward to when I am 22, my mom is so happy I am not wearing 24/7 anymore and tells me I can’t wear them when I am pregnant because then they won’t fit me. I tell her you get bigger sized diapers then as your belly gets too big for the size you wear. Then she told me wearing diapers hurts the baby and the infection will go up your vagina and infect the baby. I knew this was an obvious lie or how else do you explain incontinent women having kids. Had they endangered their fetus? I think she was at it again with her tale to scare me. I wore them in both pregnancies and both babies were fine.

Another tale she told me when my son was an infant was me wearing diapers would be so bad for him and would affect him and I knew that was a bunch of baloney or else kids would be affected by their parents incontinence. I have even been told online by other ABDLs that I better be saving money for a therapist because I will need it for my kids and that my kid is aggressive because I am wearing diapers. More lies there.

More tales I have heard in this community is if you don’t potty train your children, CPS will come and take them away. I told my mom this at age of 28 when I was pregnant with my daughter and she told me “how are they going to prove you are not potty training your children, some kids are later than others, you were hard to potty train and couldn’t get you out of them until you saw what your brother looked like and saw his messy diaper. I bet someone made that up on the internet to scare diaper lovers to potty train their kids.” I must say I fell for this tale.

Another crazy thing I heard on ADISC from someone is how you can’t work certain jobs with diapers like you can’t work around food. I thought that was baloney and there is someone on Dailydiapers that works as a chef and he is incontinent due to his obesity. I don’t think he posts there anymore because I haven’t seen any posts about his weight issues or his job as a chef and his son having to help him with his shoes and his wife having to help him into a clean diaper. I remember him saying his diapers were a size of a pillow.

Now another crazy thing I hear from time to time is having to prove your medical need for you to wear diapers. One of them is if you are working with small children and I think that is ludicrous. Diapers are medical, why do they need someone to prove they are not ABDL just because they wear a diaper? What about women who wear pull ups or pads because of childbirth or due to aging and now they leak urine or don’t always make it to the bathroom? Do they now have to rush to make an appointment and tell their doctor about their bladder leakage just so they can put it in their computer system and print it out and hand it to them?

I recently got into a argument about this with an online friend and now I don’t want to speak to him because he pissed me off AGAIN. Now unless someone walks into work wearing an AB outfit or obviously dressed up like a little and is obviously padded, then that would be another story. They have made it very obvious they are bringing their kink to work and engaging in it than leaving it at home. Go to work wearing your normal clothes and diaper underneath, no one is going to know and even if they do find out you wear a diaper, they are not going to care. It’s not like you were obviously padded or wearing a bunch of diapers making them thick and noticeable. That stays home. But anyway, there is a blog on Tumblr by someone who goes by the name of Sereh and she wants to be a preschool teacher and has completely unpotty trained herself and lied to the doctors about having bladder problems so it can get documented in the system so she can prove her medical need for diapers for her teaching job. Talk about paranoid she is so she had to make up a tale to her doctors and my online friend believes this is true what they do to incontinent people and actually endorses it and thinks this is all okay and not ableism because he doesn’t think ABDLs should be around small children. So incontinent people have to prove they are not a ABDL, what about if they were a ABDL too? Now can they not work with them either? I mean what’s next, having to prove your medical need for taking medication so you can prove you are not a druggie? What about taking insulin or an inhaler? Are they going to make you have medical proof for those too? I see diapers as no different because they are a medical device.

Another shit that gets made up, ABDLs engage in their kink by working with small children and are guising it as a job. What’s next, people who are into nurse fetish engaging in their nursing kink when they work as an actual nurse at the hospital? Or what about school teacher or school girl? What about furries working with animals and in a pet store?

What other crazy tales have you heard about all this?

Relating to other ABDLs

Just this morning I saw a Tweet on Twitter by someone of how they don’t relate to other ABDLs. They don’t like pacifiers, don’t like messing and two other things. I couldn’t find that Tweet again when I refreshed my feed.

From time to time someone will bring up how they don’t fit in or are questioning their ABDLism. I have never questioned mine because there is no box and no criteria. It’s just a label anyone can take and put on themselves if they like diapers or have any desires or have one baby thing.

There have been things about it I don’t relate to like the binge and purge cycle. I have never tossed out all my baby and diaper stuff. I have never blocked my AB friends just to move on.

I don’t put on a bunch of diapers to make them real thick. To me that is just a waste of diaper. If I want thickness, I buy thick diapers which I do anyway. I have put on two diapers for more absorbency and that was it. I also use doublers when I have them and thinking about buying a pack from Northshore to use in cheap diapers and Supreme Lite.

Another thing that makes me different than other ABDLs are I am not into today kid shows like Paw Patrol. I have also been not into modern Disney animated movies but had only watched the latest ones due to the game I play.

Another thing about me is I outgrew bottles and sippy cups.

I decided I am an adult kid than an adult baby but yet I still like printed diapers and will get some from time to time. I still would like an adult sized crib and a nursery and put all my toys in there and my chapter books and kid books from my childhood and decorate the walls with wall stickers of Shopkins. But that won’t be for another 20 years when the kids are grown and moved out. I still like my pacifier I use for stress relief. I still like ABaby clothes.

I also don’t buy stocks of diapers and have a huge diaper stash. I don’t want to use my savings so spend hundreds of dollars and I don’t have room for all these diapers. These people will have a whole entire closet filled with them or have a whole entire bookshelf filled. I am not like that. I buy one case and order more when I get to my last pack from that case. I used to order two cases until our son started going to school because we needed to pay for preschool and then our daughter started going when he went to kindergarten. Now she will be in it the following year and we will have more money again. But buying two cases every other month, we are still spending the same amount of money but we are just buying every month now than spending double. But every other month it was like we had more money. Our diaper budget is $120 a month but I always spend less than that.

Then there are the extreme types I don’t understand. They are the ones who want to be a baby 24/7 and never adult and I couldn’t imagine having that life. I like my freedom and I admit never having to work again would be nice. My son often asks me what would I do if I got $2,000,000 and I always say I would quit my job and put it all in savings and live off interest. But when he asks if I had win it, my answer changes because you always have to give out your name and get a photo when you claim it and it makes you more vulnerable to lawsuits and fake friends, losing family members and real friends because they all start using you as a bank and buy them stuff or to get them out of debt. I tell my son it would all be horrible if I won that money.

I also don’t understand the need to go AB in public than leaving it at home. I don’t feel I am not being who I am if I don’t use my pacifier openly or wearing my AB overalls openly. I mean that stuff can stay in your home or you can wear it under your clothes or bath robe like I do from time to time. Another thing I don’t relate to with other ABDLs.

More things I do not relate to with other ABDLs:

I never felt sad or upset whenever my ABDLism would fade. I would just lose interest in diapers and engaging in it it wouldn’t bother me. Each time I thought I was over it but then it would always come back.

I never wore diapers to feel naughty and nasty and in fact I had always hated the feeling.

I don’t wear them for a thrill to not get caught nor do I wear them out in public for a thrill as a hope to get caught.

I don’t feel the need to let everyone know I wear diapers. I just feel it isn’t anyone’s business. If they find out, they won’t confront me about it. Only people who have were my aunt and uncle here because I was living with them and I was stinking up their outside trash can with my diapers and throwing my used ones in the closet in the spare room, I was staying in for me to take out later when they are gone. They must have looked in my room while I was at work and they found my clean diapers and my used ones in a bag in the closet with their other clothes they kept in there and their shoes too. Or maybe they just happened to go in there to look for something and they found them. But that was how I got my diaper pail. My parents have also confronted me about it when they find out and that was it.

I let diapers become normal than only wearing to keep the thrill and I wear 24/7 just to keep them off my mind and I feel normal.

I have one online friend who lives in Ohio and he has been told by other ABs he is not a real AB because he doesn’t watch children shows and doesn’t like cute things. He likes Dallas and CHIPS and his sports and he drinks his beer in a baby bottle. Talk about gate keeping. That is something he doesn’t relate to other ABs.

And one last thing, little space. I never understand the meaning of it and why it’s even a thing. When I watch a children’s show from my childhood or decide to use a pacifier or look at my Shopkins or Happy Meal toys, I don’t call it my little space. I just see it as me engaging in one of my normal activities. Same as if I get in the mood to wear an AB outfit. I have never called it a little space and makes no sense to me when I am just being myself. Minus the AB stuff, I would still do the other stuff if I weren’t an ABDL.

I am pretty sure there are many things other ABDLs do I am not into and it would sound foreign to me. I never got into the erotic ABDL stories because they are mixed with other kinks like bondage and BDSM and slavery and toilet slave and meh, not my thing. I am on the innocent side. I had to learn to like sex during a diaper change though and you have to thank my husband for that. But I will only go that far and nothing further. I guess I got into the rape thing because I joke I am being raped by him because little girls don’t have sex and he goes “adult baby girls do” and I know how much sex is important to him and it would be selfish of me to not ever have it with him so I let him fuck me during my diaper change. If he just let me say no, he would never get it from me so I decided to just let him have it whenever he wants. It’s not like he has a high libido or is highly sexual or oversexual. It’s rare when I even feel the urge to have it so I let him make that decision because he is daddy and I am not allowed to say no. I do often wonder now if I am really a gray-a or do I just have a low libido but that is another story.

Adventures of a very messy diaper

It was nearly time to take my son to his reading program and I had a messy diaper to change. My husband was still in bed sleeping and I go in there and I pull down my pants and undo my onesie. It was so nice I didn’t have to take everything off.

But when I opened my diaper, I didn’t realize how big the mess was. I realized it had spread all the way up my butt and some of it fell in the diaper I was taking off. I wipe some of the poo off with the back of the diaper and it took me a bunch of wipes to clean up. Lot of it even got on my hand and I had to be very careful I got none of it on the clothes. It took me longer than normal to clean myself up and I also saw the inside of my diaper and I was wetter than I realized because of how wet and yellow the middle is.

Because of how long it took me to clean it all up, my husband had to help me get our son ready because he never got himself ready while I was getting ready and he was being picky about what shirt and socks to wear and I had to yank him and push him since I can’t carry him and I just grabbed a random shirt out of the drawer and my husband made him put it on and I had to pull him outside and push him in my car and slam the door closed and he yelled and screamed on the way and then by the time we got there he was over the tantrum and was back to normal like nothing had ever happened. I guess next time, change out of my messy diaper sooner. I feel all this was caused by a messy diaper I made and if I had cleaned up sooner, my son would have had more time to go through his shirts and wouldn’t have had that tantrum again and I wouldn’t have been rushing him telling him to keep his shirt on next time and get ready when I tell him to. We also made it there in time and I was able to find the class because they had up signs and arrows pointing to the direction so that made it a lot easier for me and we still got there ten minutes early. But I still need to have better planning before leaving so me and my son are not fighting because he likes to take his time and go slow and I am running around the last minute trying to get him ready because he failed to get himself ready and there is a screaming match between us and then my husband shouting at him too and threatening to spank him. I have no idea how I would do this without him. I imagine we would always be late to things.

After the clean up, I opened the window to air it out and I put on some cream and then a fresh diaper and I threw my other one away and cleaned all the poo off my fingers and made sure I got it all off. Then I snapped my onsie closed and pulled my pants back up and retied the whatever it is called. it’s like a belt but it goes around your pants like a belt for decoration and it came with these pants when I got them at 18 years of age when mom and I went school shopping for the new school year. Now they just fall down on me even with a thick diaper.

I don’t often have big messes to clean. I use adult wipes when I do but with all the other messes I use baby wipes.