Good thing I brought a spare

I used to always carry an extra diaper with until that purse got worn out and I couldn’t find another purse that would hide my diaper in it. So I hadn’t been taking an extra one with and when I go, it’s usually in the Hello Kitty diaper bag and I don’t really like using it because of the size so I use my other Hello Kitty purse my mom in law got me. Now that is ripping too.

I had background work again so I got dressed in black as they requested and headed there and I took my backpack with and put an extra diaper in it and rash cream and wipes and I had some extra clothes for just in case my wardrobe wasn’t good enough. Well it wasn’t good enough and everyone had to check with the wardrobe person and I wait in line and then my turn was next and she gives me this blouse to wear and I was expected to change into it right there. I knew my diaper would show if I took my top off and she must have picked up in my body language that I was uncomfortable because she said something about it. She asked me if I didn’t want to change into it and I pull my pants up and look down and see my diaper is well tucked in and I take my top off and put the shirt on and button it. Then I had to go out on the set and sit with the other extras in the audience. I could hear a slight crinkle in my diaper but I didn’t worry about it. I also felt soggy too all of a sudden but didn’t worry about it either. During the shooting I was noticing a urine smell and I knew I better change when we get a break.

Break time comes and I grab my backpack and go to the restrooms to change and no one asks me about my bag. I also had to wait in line and then my turn came and they had a trash bin in the restroom, those trash bins people put on their curb for the city to pick up on garbage pick up day. I changed into a fresh diaper and I didn’t even need to use the plastic bag I had brought along because I just tossed it in the trash and washed my hands and left. I felt all nice and dry again.

Good thing I brought an extra diaper along and I should try and get into that habit again. I can perhaps hide my spare diaper inside the plastic bag so it never exposes when I open my diaper bag.

Then at the end of the shooting, I changed back into my shirt in the restroom because the top of my diaper was exposed above my pants. I am still not comfortable exposing my diaper to people and playing it off as a medical issue. I have doubts people would care or even say anything about it because it’s not like this is high school or junior high or elementary school where kids feel they need to comment on things that are not normal and feel the need to make fun of it. But I am still not comfortable with it.

Pooping in public

I used to be bias and judgmental about ABDLs messing their diapers in public. But after wearing them 24/7 for so many years now, I realize it’s not black and white.

I have blogged here at times about the time I have messed in public even though I didn’t want to but it was either that or suffer.

I don’t carry an extra diaper with me much after I started using premiums and I also know how many I go through a day so I don’t need an extra change during the day. I often don’t need to make a bowel movement when I am out of the house and when I do, there is always a restroom around.

But at times my stomach would decide to flare up where I get very bad cramps and I am sweating from the pain and it decides to happen when I am at work and I could run to the toilet every time the pain gets bad hoping I will finally poop but it’s always a waste of my time because then I am getting behind my work schedule so I am like “aw fuck it and just shit myself since I work alone anyway and no one is ever around.” Then I am dealing with the mess in my diaper and runny poo is not comfortable but at least I am not in pain anymore. Great, now I have to go home that way, sarcasm. If I have an extra diaper with me, I would go change into it at the end of my shift and using wet paper towels to clean off the mess. I once even messed myself on the commute train while coming home for the same reason.

I also wrote about the time I was getting my son from school and I was sitting in the car line waiting for him when the urge to make a BM hits. No not know, I thought. I could have just left the line and park my car and then having to do that long walk to get into the school and then having to go into the office first and then possibly wait until a staff in there gets to me if they are in the middle of something just to use the restroom. then leave again and get back to my car and get to back of the line and I didn’t want that inconvenience and since I wasn’t going to leave my car, I let it loose than dealing with the uncomfortable feeling and then risk getting myself constipated from holding it for too long. I am wearing a diaper so I will mind as well use it for what it is intended for. I have always had problems with constipation from holding it for too long and I never liked the feeling of a BM either so it always amazes me how people can just hold it like it’s nothing. I could never do that. I would need to get to a toilet ASAP because I hated feeling the need to take a dump. That was why I would take aspirin or something whenever I would get on my period because they would feel like I am constipated and I need to take a dump. Labor felt the same way too but the pain was more intense. Then it would feel like I was taking an enormous dump except it was a tiny human I was shitting out.

I have also ran outside in dirty diapers and I am not going in any buildings so it didn’t matter and I am outside and I am only passing people. It’s not like there will be crowds of people and I would have to go through them.

Sure if this became a normal thing and more of a common thing, I would have to start bringing an extra diaper with just in case or else it’s go home to change and that would be so inconvenient. If anyone wants to mess themselves in public, take a odor pill or something or just at least go change ASAP. I know some do it for the thrill and gratification and that I what I frown upon there because they do it intentionally and don’t try to change. It’s not like they got hit with stomach issues or that they had no access to the toilet so they couldn’t hold it or something. Whenever that had happened to me, I would try to stand far away from everyone as possible and sit far away from everyone as possible. If there were no isolated seats or if someone seat near me, nothing I could do about it but at least I was heading home. I am also understanding why some people would pull their pants down and shit in public,same as for urination but I always think they should be wearing a diaper then. I just assume it was done by a homeless person. I found out this is a common problem here in my city in downtown. Homeless people are always shitting and peeing on sidewalks and they have city people that clean it up and they patrol the sidewalks looking for urine and feces and they also pick up garbage and needles to keep downtown looking nice and to keep it smelling fresh from feces and urine. Perhaps if they would have public restrooms available 24/7, this would end the problem but then they end up getting trashed and vandalized. Congratulations, now we have a public urination and shitting problem because of those assholes.

In fact I am thinking about always bringing an extra one with just in case because I have had my Northshore Supreme failed on me at a resale and the diaper wasn’t even that wet but somehow it dripped down my leg and my skinny jeans soaked up the urine and I had no spare diaper. I just knew “well this is the end of my day after this sale.” My mom was with too and I didn’t say anything and just dealt with wet jeans and they dried quickly. I don’t think anyone noticed since they were dark jeans.

Last weekend I took my son to a friend’s birthday party he was invited to and I was foolish to not change before leaving and I was foolish to not bring a spare one. So I take him and he wanted me to stay so I do and I leak but my pants soaked it so it didn’t get on the chair. I just waited for the party to end and then kids were just hanging out and boy did I tell my son we had to leave because I had something to take care of. I felt I ruined his day but he was still happy because he got to play games there and got a goody bag and he got a balloon.

So I am not going to auto judge someone when they say they have messed in public because I never know why they did it and where they were when they did it. Unless they tell a story about them doing it and it’s clear it was deliberate and done out of gratification, then I judge them. There used to be someone on Dailydiapers who was always bragging about it and mentioning how people would notice and they would mention how they stay in the same diaper in public and how they love the smell of it. I thought that person was disgusting and he had a lot of negative karma for it and then he was eventually banned. I assume for that behavior and no one wants a creeper on their forum nor do they want to be associated with them.

ABDL a curse?

I see it as a curse. Maybe not everyone does but I do and here is why.

It’s not something we choose and diapers are still stigmatized and ABDL still is not accepted and understood to the whole world. Plus when liking diapers as a kid, you have to deal with it yourself and hide the urges and deal with the intrusive thoughts about it. It can be so strong you resort to stealing them whenever they are available. It can be at a friend’s house or nursing home or day care or anyone’s house where there are baby or adult diapers. Some even go as far taking used ones out of trash cans. I was always too grossed out putting on any used ones that were not mine so I never took it that far but I used to look but don’t take. I also used to stare at baby’s butts and crotches and envy them but I had to stop doing it in high school because it was starting to feel creepy. People were starting to think I was a young adult was why and I didn’t want to be a pedophile. Of course I knew then I wasn’t going to abuse them and I didn’t want to fuck them but I was already aware that is what pedophiles do with kids when they like them, they stare at them wrong so I thought it was making me one so it was making me uncomfortable to even look at their crotches and butts. Now I don’t take notice because I wear them now. I also don’t find myself staring at an adult if they have a bulge because I don’t care if they have a diaper on or not. I always think if people care so much who is wearing a diaper so they take their time to look at peoples crotches and butts and they can tell who is wearing one, they must be in the closet ABDLs and I bet if they just put one on and accept it in themselves, problem solved and they will stop staring at them down there and stop trying to look. But if you live in a situation where you can’t wear them, this is why I call it a curse so you are stuck with these intrusive thoughts.

Then there are the relationships and you are dating and you can’t just wear a diaper any time you want because your partner might not accept it. You would have to do it whenever he/she isn’t around and I have read stories where people have been forced to stop wearing them so a binge and purge cycle they do. I also think it makes it harder to find a partner because of this. It’s either you compromise or you will have a harder time finding someone so it makes it a challenge.

Sure when you are a woman, you can just date ABDL guys and only worst thing that can happen is breaking up because you are both not compatible. But as a guy, it’s harder to just date ABDL women. I’ve seen guys only trying to meet female ABDLs and instead they always come off as creeps so they are better off dating vanillas too but then there is always the risk of not being accepted and can’t go 24/7 or just wear whenever they want. I have seen lot of posts online by guys talking about their struggles of being ABDL and getting their partner to accept it or not being able to wear whenever they want so they have to wait when she isn’t around.

I would not wish this on anyone, not even on my kids. Everyone tells me I just got lucky so I am the exception here. So I stopped thinking that anyone can just find someone who will accept this in them and that they can just go find another ABDL to marry.

I do see it as a curse because no one chooses to like diapers and if it were a choice, then lot of us would have just quit and never go back to them and not even think about it. I think our lives would have been a lot easier. What makes it hard is just the lack of acceptance and how taboo diapers are and the stigma on them. I would say incontinence would also be a curse too and thank god I don’t have it. I have read their posts on their forums and it doesn’t sound fun. If I were to stop wearing 24/7, I would just be going to the bathroom a lot and using the toilet whenever I see one than being sorry.

Where do you draw the line?

I saw a post on Reddit by someone about them seeing a man on a train with a capcon badge and drinking from a bottle and dressed up as an AB wearing Mickey Mouse and had a pacifier with him. Everyone in the thread seemed all cool with it when in the past this had always been frowned upon. I asked what had changed. I got a bunch of answers but the thing is, there are kids everywhere. On the train, in stores, in parks, and they can still see it even if you were not planning on going to any playgrounds or anywhere where you would be expected to see a bunch of kids. Sure the man is minding his own business so does that mean I can wear my LittlesforBig overalls in public or wearing my onesiesdownunder overalls in public? Can I also wear a pacifier clipped to my shirt or wear it at home now even with my kids and my parents around? Where is the line drawn for being an AB in public?

When I would arrive to the munch here, I would be covered up and then take off my jacket or whatever I had on exposing my AB outfit. Had I been doing it wrong the whole time?

Of course when you ask any question on Reddit, it is always downvoted. I have been downvoted almost every time I have asked a question and I have seen it happen to others so I know it’s a unwritten thing on Reddit, downvote any question you see than answering. Surprisingly my first question didn’t get downvoted, if it did, it didn’t go to 0 points but my next question got 0 points.

Yes, ABDL is a fetish, get over it

There was some recent blacklash on Twitter and someone getting blocked for arguing that ABDL isn’t a fetish. But yet that person still has not provided any source showing where medical professionals are saying this isn’t a kink. Even I have gotten into an argument with this person about it on Dailydiapers and I remember seeing her getting into an argument about it on Fetlife with other users.

This is something that keeps popping up in the ABDL community from time to time about rather ABDL is a kink or a sexual fetish or just a interest and a personality thing and some out there will keep comparing this to being gay or trans because this is part of their expression and identity but I think there is confusion here.

When people say ABDL is not like being gay or trans, they are not talking about age regressers or those who are a kid at heart or anyone who is child like and likes kid shows and Legos or any toys. Also doing these things does not necessarily make you a ABDL. So I don’t feel threatened when I hear this. Only Jerrys call all this ABDL and that is what makes them an idiot.

If anyone feels threatened with “your kink is not like being gay or trans” I would think they are insecured about themselves because they think they are being seuxalized because of their interests or what they wear. I used to have an online friend who was so insecured about himself, he was stalking my posts online and would call me on the phone or message me whenever he saw a post written by me he didn’t like. He could not tell the difference between a disability and ABDL or between having emotions of a child and being ABDL or being child like and ABDL. I mean he didn’t even call himself ABDL and said he wasn’t one so why was he getting all bent out of shape when I wrote that lot of ABDLs had a problem with Heidi Lynn because she would be an AB in public making us all look bad. Then he started comparing it to himself and I was like “dude, you said you aren’t even an AB so why are you so offended by it?” Then of course when she died, all of a sudden, she was the most respected person in the community instead of a creep despite there being backlash about her life before her death. And my online friend was even misgendering her and using her dead name and I asked him to stop and his attitude was like “Whatever.” I am sure he did it out if ignorance and didn’t realize she was trans or didn’t realize you have to respect pronouns and use the name they go by. He did this with few of my other posts too I can’t remember but it was all ABDL related and it was annoying each time because he would always take them out of context and always saw it as an attack on his personality when he wasn’t even ABDL because he was so insecured about himself. He thought people were going to think bad of him out in public if they see him when in fact no one goes around and thinks someone is an AB for wearing a men’s size Sesame Street t shirt. I saw saw one at target last week in the men’s section. But I don’t talk to him anymore and glad.

Guess what, no one is going to look at you if you are wearing a Sponegbob shirt and think you are a ABDL. No one is going to call it a kink if you are at Build a Bear and looking around and getting your animal stuffed and picking out an outfit for it and registering it and giving it a fake bath. Unless you are obviously dressed up as an AB and obviously padded where it’s impossible to not notice and you are carrying a pacifier and talking baby talk to your partner and referring them as “mommy” or “daddy” that is not okay and that is what they are talking about when they say “your kink is not like being trans or gay.” But if you are just wearing regular clothes with characters on them and you have some padding and you aren’t carrying a pacifier and not calling your partner mommy or daddy and not throwing fake fits, I don’t think anyone is going to have a problem with it. You’re still being yourself but in a appropriate way and that is not what anyone is talking about when they say “your kink is not like being trans or gay.” If people notice some padding, they will just think you are incontinent and that is okay. But most people are not going to notice it because they are not paying attention.

Perhaps adult baby isn’t the right term for you to use on yourself to refer to your child like interests and what regular clothing you wear you would find at Wal Mart or JCPenney and for what TV shows you watch and what toys you collect if this is part of your personality and you aren’t doing it to role play but you don’t do any of the baby stuff but wear diapers. I am not saying you shouldn’t put that label on yourself, anyone is free to use whatever label they want since there is no criteria for ABDL. But if you do, you are going to get offended (just like my old online friend) when you keep hearing “ABDL is not like being trans or gay” or just grow a thicker skin and learn the fricken’ difference. Not everyone in the ABDL community considers themselves a ABDL for this reason.

I also don’t think being child like is the same as age play because age play is also a kink, being child like is not, same as having a child like personality and liking kid stuff, not a kink.

So calm down people.

Edit: Fuck, just noticed I had accidentally misgendered Heidi so I fixed it. Damn brain fart. Luckily I only did it once so I had missed that mistake before posting this, my apologies.