On this whole “age dysphoria” thing

I posted this on my Fetlife profile back in September and decided to post it here for more context to my recent Tweet.

This is something I hear from time to time in the ABDL community and this is one of the annoying topics I find.

I once wrote a blog post about what if age dysphoria was the same as being trans and made it rather funny explaining why they are not the same thing. Here is the url to that post: https://lifeasadiaperedmother.wordpress.com/2016/09/

Now one can feel younger and be emotionally and socially younger but that is not age dysphoria. People can feel younger than their age for lots of reasons. Maybe it’s because they have autism or some learning disability, maybe they have depression or anxiety, there are lots of reasons why someone may not be able to handle adult responsibilities and have troubles adulting. If someone has borderline intellectual functioning or is mentally disabled, that does not mean they have age dysphroia. I always believe there is a root cause for their young feelings and why they may be younger on the inside. I have always been younger than my chronicle age. I heard all the time growing up “How old are you?” and being told I wasn’t acting my age. It always felt weird having to act my age because it felt like I had to act older. I didn’t understand as a child why I felt this way so it eventually led to anxiety by 6th grade. I honestly didn’t know how to act my age and I wouldn’t even know I was acting younger until an adult told me. It was like other kids naturally knew how to act and they were given a manual every year on how to be (insert their new age here) years old.

Then puberty hit and my body changed and that made things worse for me. I felt even weird in my own body and felt distressed about it and I didn’t like the mature looking clothes so I always went for clothes that were childish looking (I still prefer childish looking clothes to this day). I never liked being trim when I got a new body and I was no longer this skinny girl. I hated my breasts and I felt disgusted by them and thought they were gross. I often felt like cutting them off and wanting to get a knife and cut them off. I eventually grabbed a sharpie and colored over my breasts in all my childhood photos because I was so disgusted looking at them. I was told this was all normal and that all teens hate their bodies and have something about themselves they don’t like. But I noticed I was the only one who would always check the girls out and looking at herself in the mirror. I wasn’t gay or anything, I was just fixated on my body always and comparing myself to other girls and wishing I had that body and thinking “I don’t want that body but I wish I had this body.”

Now I am in my 30’s and my thoughts haven’t changed and my breasts are smaller thanks to breast feeding so I feel better about them and I am finally back to my body I had as a child so I feel actually happy with myself and am finally starting to post photos of myself online without my face and not feeling so disgusted with my body. I will never be happy with my body if I were heavier and that is why there are not many photos of myself as a young adult or when I was in high school or in my twenties because I couldn’t stand looking at myself in them and seeing how “fat” I am and seeing how big my breasts were.

And I still don’t claim to have age dysphroia because I don’t believe in it. There is always a root cause behind these feelings. If your age is causing you so much distress and anxiety, go to a therapist. I think this whole age dysphroia thing was made up by some ABDLs just so they can use a label to hide behind to try and do their kink in public and get away with it and a way to avoid responsibilities.

I do believe I probably have body dysmorphia to explain why I felt the way I did and I always blamed it on OCD before because that was my only explanation for my obsession about my own body and weight and I always see myself as being bigger in the photos but have learned to ignore those feelings. No matter now much weight I lose, I will always see these big legs in the photos and mirrors. I also believe my young feelings and the fact I was never my own age have to do with my disability because I have seen other autistic people saying how they feel younger on the inside and stuff and how they also tend to be behind socially and emotionally so that also makes sense for me too. But that does not mean we have age dysphoria. Just another label that was created for young feelings.