Our diapered weekend

My inlaws offered us last weekend that they will watch our this this weekend so we both have a break. My husband decided to go out and do something for the weekend and asked me what I wanted to do. Since I am only off two days, we can only do local traveling. I normally stay home but my husband wanted to leave and I like to travel but I never know where to go. I thought of going to Seattle and just go on the Space Needle because I had only been on it once when I was six. My husband didn’t like that idea and didn’t see anything in Seattle and he wanted to go to the coast so he was looking at bookings online for hotels. I didn’t want to be stuck in a area where we booked a room but he did it anyway and I didn’t want to spend $400 bucks a night or $500 so he found one for $199 a night. It was at a bed and breakfast.

We dropped our kids off on Saturday and headed to the coast. First stop was Cannon Beach and I hadn’t been there since I was eight and I can remember being upset because we were going to Seaside and the last minute they changed their minds and went the other direction so I was upset because of the change of plan. I don’t even remember what we did there except walking around on main street and then a thunderstorm hit and people were standing at the coast watching it and my mom said those people were being scary. I remember my mom saying a bolt of lightning hit one of the poles and it knocked out the power on one side of the block and it started to rain and we left. I can remember my mom saying she saw the electrical current run down the telephone line after it struck one of the poles. But this time there was no thunderstorm and I actually enjoyed the time there than moping and being unhappy and we did see the beach where they filmed The Goonies and then we checked in at the inn that was a few miles south and I put a diaper on my husband. He was supposed to put one on that morning but didn’t so I spanked him with a TV remote again. Then we headed out to Seaside and walked around and he wet his diaper once and then we headed back.

My husband had to take a dump so he waited until we got back to our room to do it because he didn’t want to stink up my car and he did it in the bathroom when we got back and had the fan running. Then he took it off and put it in the wastebasket. Here is an odd thing about the room we stayed in, lack of waste baskets, only the bathroom had it. I told my husband there is no way we are leaving our diapers in here because it’s a bed and breakfast and we could be back. The business is small and they only have ten rooms total.

We showered together for the first time and my husband didn’t put another diaper on again so I pushed him on the bed and spanked him and diapered him. He enjoyed that so I told him I will hit him harder next time so he won’t like it.

So for the whole weekend we both wore diapers together and my husband wanted to walk on the beach but it was raining off and on and I didn’t even want to do that on Saturday when it was nicer out. I was never a beach person and even when I was a kid I didn’t like trips to the coast when we would stay over night because it was all small towns and I didn’t like small towns and everything was just boring. My parents always found things to do there and I can remember riding horses on the beach one year when I was seven and that was somewhere in Washington and I can remember I got sick with a ear ache because my mom made me shower and she ignored my fears and water got in my ear and that is the reason why I hated showers because I had tubes in them and they always hurt when water got in them and that was another reason why I hated having my hair washed and why it was so frightening. When I was older I would just fold my ear over to keep the water from going in them whenever I had to tilt my head.

I thought about going up into Washington again but we didn’t have time for that so we stayed in Oregon and the funny thing is I was sleeping and then the guy on TV said our state name wrong pronouncing it as Or-Gone and I woke up. As a joke I say if you want to offend people on the west coast, pronounce the name as Or-Gone.

We even made it out like bandit because we looked in a couple Goodwills and looked in the thrift stores including a bargain store in a small town and I got my daughter a Barbie doll with four outfits because they came together for $4. My son got some stuff too like a game for his Leapad and he got a used Hotwheel set and my daughter got a Hello Kitty alarm clock.

But we didn’t even need to bring that many diapers with. I could have brought three along or two and that would have been okay than having a bunch of extra diapers with and my husband could have brought three or four along. He only used one diaper a day and one at night so three.

We picked our kids up on the way back and our son was the only one in the car not diapered. Poor him lol. I didn’t show our kids their new stuff until this morning.  I didn’t want to show them last night or they might get too excited and then it will be hard to put them to bed. My daughter discovered her first Barbie doll so I opened it for her and she really likes it and I just put an outfit on it. Now she wants it off. I guess she likes it naked.

My husband woke up wet this morning because his diaper had leaked so he decided to take a shower. He better wear another diaper when he gets down here.

But it was nice not having any kids with us because they would have gotten bored and restless and we wouldn’t have been able to look in toy stores and our son would have wanted stuff he found in Goodwill and thrift stores and it just would have been hard because of the whining and the fits and we would have had to stop for food for them. My husband and I basically only ate twice a day, breakfast and dinner.

But the only thing I left behind was my stuffed Clifford so I will have to give them a call today and see if they will ship it, if not, I will just let it go since I have other stuffed animals and I am not driving two hours there to get it and back.

And we did take all our trash with us and kept them in the trunk of my car and we didn’t throw them away until we got home. We saw no other place with trash cans and when we did, they always had a curvy thing above the hole and our bag was too big to fit it in there. I could have just pulled everything out of the bag and just throw it in there but I didn’t want to do that and I didn’t want to just leave the bag sitting there by the trash can.

My sleeping area

So this weekend I gave my children their own rooms and my mom helped me with it because she is more organized and knows how to plan things and break things into smaller pieces and know where to start and it resulted in having a very sore body I was limping on Sunday night and on Monday and then on Tuesday I walked more normal but still felt a little sore in my lower legs but I am feeling a lot better now. I just couldn’t stop working and I had to get it all done to get it off my mind. Now my husband and I share a room now and I now sleep in the basement with him. Each of our full beds are on each side of the room in the corner by the fireplace. he has his side, I have mine and my area is all girly and childish because it looks like a kid sleeps in this bed. I had Dora the Explorer blanket, pink sheet with white stars, stuffed animals, Hello Kitty Jelly Belly jar, mini Winnie the Pooh dresser for my Nintendo DS and 3DS games, key chains on the lamp, Build a Bear wardrobe, Build a Bear car, Shopkins, Build a Kitties. Care Bear latch hook kit set, and I plan on hanging up my two posters above my bed and I think having some fabric hanging above my bed as canopy would make it look nicer. In my other bedroom it was all spread out, it looked more like an adult’s room but now it’s all in one area. My husband teased me about it saying I was making his room look all girly so I told him he was making his room look at guyee because of his swords and shield he has up on the wall and he said he was just messing with me. I told him if he didn’t want to see my stuff, we can always go to IKEA and get something that will cover my bed and shelf so he wouldn’t have to look over here. He said he was messing with me.

Now I tease my husband about if I have to watch what i do down here now because he might get turned on and will want to have sex more and if my area turns him on and if my pajamas turn him on.

Diaper rash cream massage

My daddy decided I needed a diaper change so he took me to his bed and took my diaper off and after we had sex, he brought me back to my bed and he put a clean diaper under me. Then he rubbed rash cream all over my bottom and he kept on rubbing it down there massaging my pussy and butt and and butt hole. It felt so good and I somehow got the middle of the diaper brown because it had brown spots and I had no idea what it was. It all looked like straight lines across and my husband didn’t know what it was either so he guessed it was from me having an orgasm from rubbing me down there. He did it until his arms were sore and he rubbed the rash cream off in the diaper and put it on me.

Now with us sharing the same room now, we get to do these things more often.

My Diary I found

This weekend my mother and I were working on giving my own kids their own rooms. I was moving to the basement to where my husband sleeps and I was getting my books off the shelf in my old bedroom when I found one of my diaries. I opened it and I had last written in it from 2007. I had written stuff in it about Jerry as I wondered. I didn’t write anything about his games or things he was doing that would indicate abuse because I was not aware of it then. But I did write about how I would have to change everything about me to be accepted by my ex. I would have to change my interests and everything and how I dress just to get him to stop feeling he was with a child instead of with an adult. I was always hurt in it and I could tell from my own writing I was very depressed and stressed in it and unhappy and dealing with lot of anxiety. I even wrote he owed me money, and I wrote how he would plan to take me somewhere like he was going to go to California to get his son again but then doesn’t keep up to date with me about when he will get me and stuff and I can’t even get a hold of him. I also wrote how my mother liked him and I didn’t want her to change her view about him so I was afraid to even talk to her about certain things. I also wrote in my diary about when he had that piece from Dish Network they wanted back and he told me twice he would bring it to me but he never did and his excuse was he was busy and I wrote in it asking why was he doing this to me. Even then I thought he was doing it on purpose and just messing with me. But I kept thinking why did I date this person, it was clear from the start he was not a good guy because of his prejudice opinion about AB/DL and I got so fed up with his ignorance I started to do things to show him how I can still do adult things whole being a baby.  I also got fed up with him feeling like he is with a child, I did it more to piss him off because that is how much I hated ignorance. I know the term for it now is willful ignorance.

I have always been the kind of person always wanting to prove people wrong and show them but I had learned in my twenties that once people make up their minds, you can’t change them so trying to prove them wrong won’t work because they will just find another excuse to keep justifying their opinion. Someone could think I am dumb and when I share my great knowledge about something, they would probably find a reason why it’s not valid and why it doesn’t count as me being smarter than they thought I was. I could remember Jerry telling me I had this opinion or that opinion because I read it and he thought I wasn’t capable of having my own. I am just someone who likes to read different perspectives and try and get all the facts before forming an opinion and even if I do form an opinion and then get more facts to the story, I can change my mind again. He wasn’t that kind of person, he was just someone who would get an opinion in his head before getting all the facts or more to the story and not change his mind no mater what more information you gave him.

But reading it all again made me feel angry all over again and I started to hate him again and wishing I could slap him. Then I have to remind myself about the karma she is getting now. She is lonely, she will never find someone like me again as I wrote in my diary. She did find another diaper girl but she moved out east with her family according to her in her Diapermates profile.

But the thing about my diary is the dates contradicting my memory and the date of the post I made on Wrongplanet about him withholding the Dish Network piece from me and I wrote about it in May of 2007 in my diary saying he still had it. I am not sure how I wrote that and I wrote as of May 31st 2007 wondering if I am single again or not because he hadn’t been answering his phone and I was wanting to move on. I even wrote I didn’t want another relationship for a awhile because they were too complicated. That was the last post I made in my diary.

But a lesson I learned is I have to be more judgmental and not give any guys a chance if they show any prejudice ignorance about AB/DL or about anything I don’t like. Been there, done that.

Must not be seen by my girl

I must not be seen in diapers by my daughter. She is now sitting on her potty three times a day. I am going to push it to four because I will sit her on it again after she gets up from her nap. She hasn’t gone in it yet so right now it’s about getting her used to sitting on it.

She woke up in the middle of the night when I was about to go to bed but I had to finish a video first on youtube. I was messy so I had to change before bed and I also didn’t want the diaper to leak if I wet it again and have my bed stink up from the poopy diaper. So I had to place her in her crib while I go change and she was crying and screaming when my mom stormed in my room butt naked and I was naked and had just taken my diaper of and she yells ‘Feed her’ and leaves as if I was ignoring her. No she was crying because I had put her in her crib and she didn’t want to be in there. Was I supposed to change in front of her? So I ended up walking out of my room naked and having poop in my butt and I changed while my daughter ate in her high chair. I guess that is what I was supposed to do but I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want my mom to yell at me more if I was taking too long to get clean up and changed. It was either change in front of her or let her scream and risk mom getting mad at me more or be naked. I picked the third. It took me about a minute to decide.

This is a dilemma.

 

Maybe I won’t have to be potty trained

Today we went out and we ate at a buffet and then we went to Toys R Us/Babies R Us and we had our daughter pick out her first potty chair. They had different selections and we took them all down and put them on the ground. She didn’t look at them at first until we started to push buttons on the potty chairs and then I discovered the flush able handle on the Mr. Potty chair. I thought maybe she isn’t ready because she wasn’t showing interest and she kept walking away and coming back and then she was looking at them.  Then my husband started to put the potty chairs back and he put Mr. Potty back up on the shelf and she reached for it squealing so my husband realized she had picked out her potty chair. He put it in the cart while I put the rest back and then I put her in the cart. She wanted to play with it and then she looked at it in the car and then this evening she played with it and she kept playing with the handle. Then we showed our mother the chair and then our daughter played with the potty seat and the potty bowl and then right before bath, she say on the chair. She seemed to be very happy to be on it and she was running around and squealing and she was excited. Then after the bath she sat on it again and I even showed her during her bath by pouring water in it that it plays music when she pees.

Maybe she will still train and Daddy won’t have to buy me any big girl underwear and toilet train me. But he still likes the idea of doing it because of my story. I have told him about my protagonist character role playing potty training with her husband and he always puts her back into diapers because of too many accidents and she just isn’t ready.

This is the potty chair our daughter picked out:

 

“How do you pee?”

This was a question my son asked me. I thought it was strange because he has seen me pee before so I told him “Haven’t you seen me pee?” and he asked me how do I pee so I told him the same way Grandma does, he has seen her pee right, you sit on the toilet. I couldn’t tell him I do it in my diaper, that would be awkward. He then asked me how does it happen so I told him the kidneys make the urine and it travels down the tube to your bladder and it holds it there. When it gets full, that is when you feel you have to go to the bathroom. The bladder sends a signal up to your brain, and I point to his head, and I said that is why he feels he has to go potty because his bladder is full so it’s time to empty it so he relaxes his muscles and pee comes out. I told him you always have urine in there and it doesn’t completely empty when you go and if you go when you don’t feel you need to go, you still pee. I also told him all girls pee sitting.

So I went on Google and showed my son a couple drawings of peeing positions for females and I looked at the link results and didn’t find them to be appropriate so I didn’t bother reading them to my son and I told him some women peed standing and they used this pee cup that is like a funnel. I showed him wikihow pictures and I showed him GoGirl on google search.

And this is a video we watched together:

 

I asked my son if he understood now how girls peed and he shook his head. Perhaps he needs a visual, a video of a girl going to the bathroom using the toilet or next time I wearing a pull up, have him come watch me pee or have him catch his grandma going again. Or when Daddy decides to potty train me again and have me wear big girl panties. I think he forgot I wear diapers.