Lesson my ex taught me

So I still go back and forth sometimes about rather Jerry was a narcissist or not.

There was one thing I remember that makes me go thinking maybe he wasn’t one was I was an AB and he was only a DL but he hated ABs and thought they were all pedophiles and sickos. I naively thought he would change his mind once I educate him and show him. I wanted to be accepted by him so I “shoved it in his face” he called it. I would keep trying to tell him about it, I even used my baby things in front of him to show him how adult babies are still adults, not real children and they are not retarded (pardon the slur word because I am not fond of political correctness and even Temple Grandin still uses the word in her books, mentally retarded). But he called it a game and said I did it to piss him off so I did it for real just to drive him crazy because he was a bigot and narrow minded and willful ignorant and I don’t like willful ignorance. I just wouldn’t give up trying to educate him but I am sorry but you can’t educate stupid. If people don’t want to open their minds and listen and learn, you can’t make them. So I was the one being closed minded because I was not accepting that he was not into it and not comfortable with it. But I realize it was the way he handled it because he judged us and made fun of me about it and used it against me, not because he wasn’t comfortable with it or wasn’t interested.

Then I remember the other shit he has done so it makes me realize ABDL did not cause this nor was it my fault because if it wasn’t ABDL, he would have still found something else to abuse me about. If it was only this he did and not the other shit he has done which I have blogged about already, then I would think he was not a narcissistic but because he did the other stuff, I go back to thinking “yep he is one.” Remember, his ex did leave him and she wouldn’t even let her children talk to him or even let her daughters see him and she would always have to meet us in the parking lot when we would get his son and to drop him off. She also came with her boyfriend always. Gee, why is this? This should also tell me something. there is probably something about him I don’t know about.  Also she would always threaten to leave him and take their son with, also she claimed her son wasn’t his so he had to go get a copy of his son’s birth certificate to prove it. Mmm why, maybe because she wanted him to stop abusing her so she used their son to threaten to leave him and to take him with, maybe she claimed he wasn’t his because she didn’t want him in her life and when you have kids together, you have to still see the kid’s parent unfortunately and still deal with them until the day they turn eighteen or leave high school, maybe after too because there might be adult kid issues they would have to deal with together. But if your partner is abusive, you might do anything to try and get the kid’s parent out of your life and some other parents keep the parent in their kid’s life. My brother’s girlfriend is a bitch because there are things she has done that is mean and she lies to her children about us but my brother never alienated her from their kids because he thinks his kids have a right to their mother and to keep his and her issues separate from them. She is only nice when she wants something and she puts on a nice act for everyone so she seems nice when you know her. But anyway Jerry’s ex finally grew a bone and took their kid and left him with her daughters. But I will never know for sure if the stories he told me about her were lies. But the way he treated me does make me wonder how he treated his ex and if that is why she left him.

But the lesson I learned here is if someone doesn’t understand AB/DL and they are ignorant about it and associate it with kids or feel like they are with a child, and think it’s pedophilia or think you are sexually attracted to kids, run. Do not stay and try and educate them because you will be hurt at the end and might have resentment. If they do not accept it so they want you to do it in private, run. That can still cause damage at the end and resentment and hurt feelings because you felt you were not accepted. This is what Jerry had taught me so I always tell other ABDLs to run when they write about their partner not understanding their fetish or their needs for it.

But Jerry was a narcissist so I have no idea how a none narc acts about all this when they also don’t understand it or feel uncomfortable with it and not want it around them. But that is the only image that comes to mind when I read their posts about it so my knee jerk reaction is run, leave, run for your life.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Lesson my ex taught me

  1. I hate and despise political correctness with a correction especially when they try to ban words. Political Correctness suppresses ideas and does not allow them to be examined under logical scrutiny. Another thing. Words are really visual symbols and these visual symbols are interpreted through vocal and auditory utterances. It is the ideas that give the words weight and power. One has to challenge and question the ideas themselves through education and rationality not ban what we don’t want to hear.

  2. Sorry I saw this “pardon the slur word because I am not fond of political correctness and even Temple Grandin still uses the word in her books, mentally retarded”

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s