Damn anxiety has returned

I have knots in my chest again and it feels like someone is grabbing my heart and squeezing it with their hand. It all started when I was coming home and I got stuck on the train at a stop because of some emergency happened. So we had to wait twenty minutes and then we were moving and then we were stuck at the transit center and then we moved again and I saw a couple police cars on the side and then I got home and my mom was in bed. My anxiety gets worse because she had told me two times already she would help me with the TSA thing and she told me I had to fill out some application and go online for it. I was told at the airport to call the number one week in advance before take off but I don’t remember any application thing. So I have had anxiety all evening long and been in a bad mood and snappy and short tempered. I decided I will just call the damn number tomorrow first thing I get up and try and do this myself because my parents leave Friday so I am not relying on her tomorrow night because she might beak her promise again. I think this is the last time I ever book a trip and I will just skip family weddings and stuff if they are too far and I better stick with local traveling than airlines. Too much stress and it makes me literally sick. I have flown alone once and bought my own ticket once but that was before I met my husband and I didn’t have kids then so it wasn’t much. I didn’t even need luggage, only my bag and that was it. Plus my aunt was with me and she guided me through printing off my ticket and on the way home, my parents were with me and I went home with a suitcase because they had brought me more clothes and stuff and I had to pay 25 bucks because it was above the weight limit. But this time I am traveling with kids and my husband who has a disability and I am on my own so things are different. I did not realize it would be this stressful. I am reminded why I do not plan trips and go on them. As much as I hate making phone calls and talking on them, I have to do it this time but I have to wait until morning when it’s daylight and it better not be hard. My husband said he will help me with it.

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