Honestly I am not sure how to feel about this. I used to think it was abusive and then I thought it was mean and bordering on abuse but this seems to have become a parenting trend. I was never shamed as a child so this is something I don’t understand because it had never been done to me. I was spanked and spanking seemed to be more common back in my childhood. I used to see other kids get slapped on their hands or their faces or their butts, I even witnessed a boy at my daycare being hit in the butt with a shoe by our teacher who I assume was her son or something because he always arrived with her and left with her. Now it has become a controversial issue, even Dr. Phil is against spankings but won’t judge it because it’s 50/50. My mom also yelled but not as much as some other moms and I had lot of time outs growing up, sent to my room, my Barbies taken away and put in time out, being grounded, losing privileges, having to go to bed early, going to bed without dinner because I refused to eat it, have dessert taken away and my mom also did empty threats which I always took seriously. She also gave me extreme threats sometimes and I would shape up. I would all of a sudden have control over my behavior because of the threat because I would take it so seriously. Now kid shaming I have been hearing about. I have never seen it before except for online and I have never known a kid who has been publicly shamed.
I just saw online about a mother finding out her 13 year old daughter had been posing as a 19 year old on Facebook wearing lace panties and bras and make up and she had all these over aged men on her FB friends so the mom did a video with her daughter making her say she is 13 and she still watches the Disney channel, her bedtime is at ten, she does not wear makeup or dress that way, she still can’t wipe her own butt well and she started crying and it was hard to watch but the mom kept it going. Then she posted the video on her Facebook and her own for everyone to see and lot of parents were saying what a great mom she is and others said it was abuse. See 50/50 it seems like with kid shaming. Even a girl on my Facebook friends who was in my brother’s grade in elementary school also believes in kid shaming. She is a nice girl, I remember her as a kid so it was shocking at first to see she would believe in this. But now I am on the fence about it.
Reason why I decided to write about this is because not too long ago a mother posted on Wrongplanet about her 21 year old son facing a felony for having sexual contact with a 15 year old and now he is in major trouble with the law and facing charges and he is a big mess right now according to the mom’s update on him. Then I see this story online about the 13 year old and it reminded me of the story on Wrongplanet because the 15 year old told the man she was 17 (they were in Washington and 17 is the age of consent there) and this 13 year old was pretending to be 19 and she was also duping guys on her Facebook so the mom made sure they knew she is 13 so unfriend her now. I know I would if I were a guy and I found out the sexy lady on FB was a child. I wouldn’t be comfortable getting off on a minor or having any contact with them. The only exception would be if they were family or a friend of my friend or someone I knew and their parents were okay with it but I wouldn’t feel comfortable getting off on them still if they were posing themselves that way and I would probably tell their parents about it so they know what their kid is doing on social network. You don’t always know what your kid does online. My parents didn’t know I was going to AB/DL sites until I told them and then I snuck them because I still had it in my head but I was just in denial but I started going back to the sites again and made sure to not get caught, I would clear my history, I only went on them when I was in the room alone. The computer was in the basement and I could hear everything upstairs including someone coming so it gave me time to go to another site. I realize this was my pornography. It may not have been naked men or women and them having sex because I always found that revolting and sick to see, instead I targeted AB/DL. I realize I did go through the porn stage too like most kids but I just did it differently, it was AB/DL instead while the other teens went to porn sites because they were curious about sex and all and I was not into that stuff and it never occurred to me about sex and watching porn, I was the naïve one and thought sex was only done when you want to have kids. I know my brothers did but they told my mom it was the pop ups and it brings them to those sites. Now today we have features for parents now that tells them what sites get visited and pop ups don’t exist anymore because of ad blockers and browsers also have that built in feature. It would be pretty hard for a teen to sneak websites now vs 12-15 years ago. I didn’t start to get caught with my “porn” until I was 17 because my mom finally got smart and started to sneak in on me without me hearing her and I would be over focused and me being secretive made her more skeptical so it made her want to sneak in more and she also found out a way to figure out what sites I had been to even if I did clear my history.