Abuse by children

“Ugh, not this topic again” you are probably thinking once you start reading it.

I know I have talked about abusive children in the past and have you noticed how it’s often not talked about? Every time we hear about abuse or domestic violence, it’s always done by a parent or partner or caretaker. We never hear about a child abusing a parent or another adult. I have before but not much and the parent is always seen as the bad guy or teacher and victim blaming comes in place that the adult must have done something to provoke it. I can remember coming back to my class from recess and Russell runs up to me and pinches me in the neck and I cry and tell our teacher and he says “she was cussing.” I was just walking back to class and did nothing wrong and I wasn’t even talking. What did I do to provoke this? What did my brothers do to provoke getting an ax thrown at them? Oh telling Frankie to stop chopping up my parents hammock they got in Mexico. :rolls eyes: TLC did a movie about it once called Dangerous Child. What did the mother do to provoke such violence? Oh being a parent and doing her job as a mom. It’s normal for teens to want their way and get upset but it’s not normal for them to start beating their mother and breaking things just because they were not allowed to do something or because they disobeyed and now they are in trouble for sneaking out when they were supposed to watch their brother. But it was actually learned behavior from the father because he was abusive and the parents were divorced because of it so the mom had full custody. Then the nine year old was starting to pick up on it but he wasn’t aggressive yet, he was just having verbal outbursts and that was how it started for the 16 year old and it got ignored. Never seen as a red flag because the parents didn’t know where it was heading. But when the little brother started his verbal outbursts, it didn’t get ignored.

I finally decided to do a search on it and came across http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_abuse_by_children and what do you know, it’s little talked about and considered a taboo topic. I knew it.

Then cracked just did an article about disturbed children and it was the first time ever I didn’t see any humor in it and it all looked serious to me, not a joke. Maybe because I have seen it happen and have had experience and heard personal stories about it and the fact my mom would get attacked by an autistic student who was only six. I know not all disabled children are violent because I have know lot of kids with disabilities and most of them were not disturbed. I was around them growing up and in a self contained class and only one boy was aggressive, Russell. Then there was Frankie and he was another kid I knew who was aggressive but he was worse than Russell. So I know this is all real and it angers me when people try and discredit it and act like it doesn’t exist and call it a stigma or discrimination or say these kids are treated poorly as if people are not allowed to defend themselves and if they do, oh no it’s abuse. I know this view can get you enemies and lose respect from people and lose friends because they are on the other side. I have unliked parenting pages that thought kids should abuse their families and were calling the parents horrible for trying to protect themselves by sending the kid back to their home country or abandoning them. This is often a controversial topic and even your personal experience with abuse can make you the bad guy and a bigot when you talk about your negative experience.

When I did a search on abused by a child, only the wiki article popped up and the rest only talked about child abuse. Why are people so silent about this topic? Why do people deny this happens? They like to turn their backs and pretend the parents are bad parents or the teacher is abusing them. Sure kids do sometimes subject to violence when they are being abused but that is everyone, anyone would get violent if they kept on getting harassed and bothered and or got grabbed or someone trying to mug them or rape them, that is normal. Anyone can get violent if provoked and pushed but is not what we’re talking about here. Every time the topic comes up about violent kids, people start talking about abuse and talking about their horrible experience with abuse they got at school or in a hospital. It’s like no one can’t even talk about it without anyone listening. People just want to continue to believe there is no abuse and it’s all self defense and the kid is just retaliating to the abuse. They don’t want to believe a kid has problems. But guess what, even abusers have problems too because they also grew up in violent households or because they were abused as children or because they have anger issues or other problems that would cause them to be abusive including mental illnesses or autism. So why accept this in children? No one accepts this in adults but why in kids and blame the victim for it? Reading the comments to the Cracked article said it all and proved my point how people would rather live under a rock. If you got abused by a child, then you must have done something to deserve it, you must have been abusive. That is the response one commenter got when s/he said she has worked with kids like this and got attacks about it being called an abuser and how they hope s’he never works with them again. I just saw ASSumptions and accusations.

Parental abuse has been a new term since 1979. I was glad to see there is such thing but see no other information about it besides on wikipedia just told me how it’s not taken seriously and how the majority still ignore it and still blame the victim.

You are probably thinking I am paranoid or thinking I have been traumatized by these two children my thoughts have been clouded and I need counseling, or thinking I am a bigot and hate disabled people and people with mental illnesses, or probably thinking I am using my experience to justify all this or thinking I am being an abliest and of course you may be thinking wikipedia is unreliable source for information and of course you may be thinking “duh of course you didn’t find anything on parental abuse because it doesn’t exist.”

I must say back when my parents were kids, child abuse also didn’t exist. People didn’t believe parents could abuse their children and not love them. People just turned a blind eye and thought the kid is a liar because no parent would do this. Even when I was a little girl, social services turned a blind eye and would assume the child is lying and believed the parent. Even when I was a small child, a parent could harm their child and take them into ER and get away with it because people were trusting and thought a parent wouldn’t do this to their kid and bought their lie. I am still horrified about the part I read in one of Sarah’s Burleton books about her being thrown down the stairs by her mother because she wouldn’t stop crying. Sarah asked her aunt who told her that story why didn’t anyone call the cops and she said times were different then. Given that she was born in 1978 and her “father” said she was two months old when it happened would have made the year 1979 when it happened given the month she was born in but she told me on her Facebook page her aunt said she was eight months. I told my husband about it and he said people were more trusting and were not really aware parents could harm their children. Now people have become aware of child abuse and people who work in profession like nursing or doctors or in school or do counseling are all required by law to report it and are trained to look for in abuse and what it looks like. People take photos of the abuse and show it to people so they know what to look for. Perhaps someday people will get this far with abuse by kids and stop turning a blind eye to it. Maybe someday there will be laws to protect families and victims, maybe someday there will be better support for these kids and for their families. It’s hard to have empathy for these kids because how hard do you find it to have empathy for child abusers and domestic abusers despite their own background story and how they feel themselves even if they have a disability or some emotional issue or were abused victims themselves? It’s not politically incorrect to not feel sorry for them and to have no empathy but yet it’s politically incorrect to feel the same way about these kids.

Maybe I should be an advocate for victims of abuse by kids. But how? Do I really want to do it? Do I really want to put myself out there and be seen as the enemy, the evil, Hitler, and be known by strangers and be infamous? I don’t think I am ready for this. Maybe this is why people are not aware of abuse by kids because no one will step up and talk about it publicly and make everyone aware fearing they will get resentment and be seen as bad people and lose respect from reality.

Oh wait I lied, if you do a search on abused by children, more stuff pops up about children being abusive but stuff on child abuse still pops up. But still not many pages about it.


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