A surprising PM that proved to me

I know people either see me as a troll or see things in my posts that are not even there or misread my intentions. Tons of people have stopped talking to me for no apparent reason, I have always gotten accused of being argumentative when it’s never my intent, same as for being defensive. On fanfiction I got an interesting review and I reply and I was hoping for a discussion but instead I get seen as being somewhat bigoted. I am not sure why she thought that. She also saw me as being argumentative and said she was tying to make ammends. I am also not sure what she meant. I looked the word up and I wonder how was I rude or did she find my fanfiction story rude or my response when I was trying to be friendly. But I apologized for making her feel uncomfortable and said I have always gotten accused of being argumentative when it was never my intent and it’s even in my medical records that I argue about everything. I have also gotten accused of being defensive when it was not my intent to be, I was never negative about Trey Parker and I was never offended by their shows or by their AS episode. I felt she misread my messages and told her I wouldn’t bother her again.

Yeah I was just reminded how shit I am with communication and how I do scare people off when we talk. Then I remember what that guy told me when we went to the nude beach, he said I was likable and fun to be with. Well at least not everyone will see me in negative light or take me the wrong way. I was feeling all down about myself that day and he made me feel happy and I cheered up after he told me that. But she was polite still in her message because she was saying sorry and saying she hopes I have a good September and good bye. She didn’t sound angry. If she was, then she did good hiding it. She also thought I don’t get others perspectives. I feel people don’t want to hear mine so they say I am argumentative. I won’t be able to please everyone and not everyone is going to like me. That is just the fact of life for everyone. I thought we were having a interesting discussion and we could relate and we had similar childhoods and I learned some interesting things from her like about the intent behind South Park and the offensive stuff they do in it and stereotypes and Trey Parker also has Asperger’s. I didn’t know telling her what I thought when I saw the shows and not knowing about it would make me come off as argumentative or a bigot or being all negative. So much for trying to have a discussion. That’s why I am always shy and too afraid to talk to anyone online or make friends. I always wait for people to come to me and I had given up on friends so I just talk and not see them as a friend. Not that I saw her as a friend. I saw her as someone on fanfiction I was talking to.

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