A fight

On Monday, I planned on going up to Kalispell with my husband and just drive and look around and go to the game store their mall has. My husband decided to work on the driveway that morning by putting gravel in the erosion that was on the driveway so it would be easier to get in and out with our cars. We headed out and my son thought I was saying “cows bell” instead of Kalispell and we ate at Dairy Queen in Bigfork and then we made it to kalispell and went to the Mega Thrift Shop and I didn’t see much there I liked. We only got a few things and some VHS tapes for the lake house we stay at. Then we head back to my car and I feed my daughter and change her and my husband decides he wants to head back because his feet were bothering him.

Then I start to feel stressed out and have anxiety building because of the sudden change in plan and something inside me must have snapped because I got very upset and I felt my day was being ruined by him and he refused to just sit in the car and wait and have the windows down or car running. So i get upset and I don’t remember how it went. I remember saying why did he come then if he knew his feet were going to hurt so much and he said he wanted to be with me and I said it ruined my day. I also remember him telling me to just take him back to the lake house and I can come back and that stressed me out even more because was he crazy? Drive 35 minutes back and then come back, that is wasting over an hour of my day and that is like telling someone to drive all the way from Missoula just to drop you off in Ronan which is an hour away and then drive all the way back to Miisoula to continue their day. So my husband says I can go to one more store so I head to my gaming store the mall has and I already feel pressured and stressed out and I arrive at the mall and I feel like crying and breaking down and then my husband gets all impatient and tells me to make it fast and then goes “I am just in lot of pain” when I tell him to quit ruining my day. Then he says he will just walk home so I tell him fine, go ahead. I realized later that made no sense because how can he walk home if his feet hurt so bad. If he can walk home with his feet, that means he can stay in town with me while I do my plans. I go in the mall and I see the store had closed because it was vacant so I go back outside and I cry and I felt like having a meltdown. I didn’t know what to do so I hold it all in and just go home and I don’t speak to my husband. My chest started to hurt on the way because I was holding it all in than letting it out and when I get home, I just went straight to my room and cried in the pillow so no one could hear me. My husband decided he will just take the greyhound bus home the next day so he will stop ruining my trip and he will take our son with. That was ruining my vacation even more because my mom was planning taking her grandsons to the maze that is between Columbia Falls and Glacier Park later in the week. That makes it even worse for me and my mom decided to talk to me and I let her and I do my best telling her. Then later I hear her screaming at my husband and telling him if he abandons me, he can pack up his shit and move out of the house. Then he tells him to go make up with me and work it out than running away and then she comes back in my room with him and she had to work out our issues like we were children and she was the adult because we could not work out our problems alone. I was upset and so was he. Mom told me that was how marriages end. Two couple fight and don’t talk about their feelings and don’t know how to communicate so they end up divorcing because of too many hurt feelings and blow ups and they don’t go into counseling. Mom sure saved the day for us because I don’t know what would have happened. Maybe move on and not ever talk about it and I wouldn’t have known something new about my husband and may have made the same mistake again and again. I think it’s always important to talk about your past and your ex’s and other people who have hurt you so you will understand where they come from even if it means someone may think you are justifying or making excuses for your issues or if it may upset the person you are talking about your ex and think you are comparing them to them. My mom also told him what to do about his pain and he has insurance now and she found out he had quit taking his anxiety medicine and that explained everything for my mother. My husband didn’t want to spend $300 a month on medicine. Mom also told me I said some hurtful things to my husband and I found out when he said things like wanting to take the Grayhound, he was just very upset when he said it and my mom said emotions are not logical because people will feel a certain way and it won’t make any sense and people will say things when they are very upset. I also found out my husband has delayed stress like I did as a teen so when I told him he ruined my day, it brought back bad memories for him from his childhood when kids would say he ruined their day and his siblings getting mad at him about him ruining their day because my in laws refused to make their son sit out and not be included because of his feet getting too sore. We both apologized and I missed my chance of going out on the boat and water skiing because I was too upset to go out and do it and I just wanted to be alone. I still didn’t want to do anything after the issue was resolved.

My husband thinks this was our first fight ever and it brought us closer together. We did go to Kalispell the next day again and I picked up where I left off from the day before and my husband didn’t let his feet ruin our day. I also got more video games but from Gamestop this time and we went to Target and used my baby gift card there I got from my aunt and I got a few books from Goodwill and a N64 controller and I got a new game at a pawn shop and it was only five bucks and sold as-is because it was a Japanee game that came from Japan. It was all in a foreign language. It was just a picross game. I love those games. Then after I was done with what I wanted, we headed back to the lake house.

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