Today I went to a bunch of garage sales in my old neighborhood and I saw some of our old neighbors. I even saw my old best friend’s parents were having a garage sale but my old friend wasn’t home because she went to Wendy’s. So my dad and I looked at the other garage sales with my son and we got some stuff. Then after we looked at all of them, we left and I stopped at my old friend’s house to say hi to her and her mother brought me inside and up to her room and I saw our interests had changed and we had grown apart and she was a different person than 14 years ago when I last saw her. She was very polite and asked “Beth is that you?” and I said yes. She didn’t act all enthusiastic about me like she did before as a kid but she was very polite and I saw her room was like a little girl’s room and she had a bunch of kid movies and DVDs and she also liked Hello Kitty like me and she had kid games and Archie comics like me. But she didn’t really want to see me because she said to her mother “You’re on my bed” and then her mom asked her “Do you want me to leave?” an she said yes and then she asked if she wanted to be alone and she said yes.
It was a little disappointing but I wasn’t offended because I didn’t plan to stay there long anyway because I had my kids in the car and my dad with all the windows down and she also didn’t want to meet them when I told her I have two now and if she wanted to meet them. The mother told me she is a very private person now.
I did chat with the mother after we were back outside to see how things were with her and she is doing great and has a life despite still living at home and being on social security. Only things me and my old friend have in common now are movies and Archie comics and kid games and books but I think we have grown apart. I am married and have kids now and she still lives at home and isn’t married and doesn’t have kids because that is her limit but she has a job, I think the same kind as me since her mother mentioned she cleans toilets at the day care. Plus she seems to not want any social contact including me and that is the main interest that changed between us. And I was feeling guilty for not ever going up to see her for the last seven years I have moved back here and then I was too scared to even see her or say hi because I thought she would be mad at me or hurt for not stopping by sooner but I also felt relief after what happened because it didn’t matter if I never saw her or not and I didn’t have to feel like a bad friend anymore because she wouldn’t want to see me anyway so I did nothing wrong then.
My mom thinks she didn’t remember me but I think she did because she asked if it was really me. I think it also could have been one of those days where she wanted to be alone and it was the wrong time to see her. She may have had a busy day also and she just needed to be alone so I didn’t take it personal when she didn’t want to see me. As I was leaving, I realized her telling her mother she is on her bed was a subtle hint she wanted her to leave and me. If it had been me there alone, I would not have picked up on it and she may have gotten frustrated with me or just be direct with me all of a sudden or just keep getting frustrated and I never get the hint because she is too polite to be direct so her mother was my guide. My mom did warn me years ago my friend will always be a little girl so I will outgrow her.
I felt I had an NT moment because I wanted her to see my kids and talk to her and visit to see what she had been up to over the years and she she is doing now with her life and share mine but that didn’t happen.