I never understood the term self-righteous. When I first heard it, I looked it up and saw it was another other for holier than thou. But the way it gets used, it doesn’t meet the definition learned so it always confuses me. I come across the word again and type it in goodle again and look up self-righteous people this time and I came across this:
So by that definition, it means trying to be a better person and improve yourself just by watching other people and decided who you want to be. I see nothing wrong with this. What’s wrong with wanting to change and be a better person?
As a child, I wanted to be liked and have lot of friends and I knew the only way to do this was be a good person. I was very unlikable and lot of kids did not like me. I was labeled as rude or mean and I wanted to be a good person and I also wanted to be normal all of a sudden. So I used to copy other kids and do what they do and I have always watched other people to figure out how to act and do things. it was like being in a different culture all the time and when you enter a different culture, you observe other people to figure out their rules and conform. This is what I did all the time growing up as a child and that was why I was pulled out of that special program when I was eight because I was not learning appropriate behavior. I was acting up and doing things like screaming in school for attention because this one boy in my class did but when I was put in mainstream, I acted better because other kids did not do those things so therefore I was in a different culture so that behavior was not done in that culture. So I suppose I am a self righteous person and have been my whole life. I always had to rely on other people to figure out how to act and do things and I also read books on social stuff in 5th grade. Then in 6th grade, they thought I had to be in some behavior program but my parents knew if I was put in that class, I would learn how to have behavior problems and do them at school because like I say, it was like being in different cultures and I had to observe people to figure out the rules. I would have figured out the rule is if I get mad, I can get violent and kick over some chairs or desks lets say and know that is only school behavior and my parents didn’t want me doing “school behavior.” That is also why they didn’t want me in a special school either even if it meant I would get the right education and get my educational needs met so we moved out to Montana and I was the main reason for it. Smaller school district, smaller schools,less kids so that meant better education for me. It also helped my brothers too because my brother got to be challenged because he was so smart so he did above grade level math and in high school, he was allowed to take higher grade courses and doing some college work. Now he is going to be going to law school and just got accepted at one of them. Plus we were also closer to my grandparents and they were getting older so they needed more help and my uncle was doing all the work around the land. They are both dead now. Only thing I miss about Montana is the snow and the memories but I would not want to live there, it’s fine as a vacation.
The article also makes me wonder is it self-righteous to learn from others mistakes? You are observing them and knowing not to do what they did. At age six a boy in my class got upset about something so he threw some chairs including mine and he had to sit in the office for the rest of the day. I sure learned that day so I never threw chairs and it wouldn’t have occurred to me to do it anyway. But if he had gotten away with it, I may have done it too if I saw it got him something good or if there was no consequence. My behavior was always learned behavior so my mom always had to figure out first why I was doing a behavior before she did anything about it.