When you become a parent

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-skoutelas/once-we-become-parents-we-dont-want-to-hang-out-with-you-anymore-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-think_b_5270148.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

I read this article and I cannot relate to it. Lot of it I read all seemed bull to me. Here is why:

1. Get a baby sitter or ask a family member to watch your kids so you can go out. There is no reason why a parent would never have time to not go out with their friends. My brothers and I had our share of baby sitters growing up while our parents went out. Plus have your partner watch your kids when you go out with a friend.

2. Do kids really take up every single minute of your darn time, mine doesn’t. As a child I remember playing outside or in my room or in the family room and my mom could still clean or cook or work in the yard while we all played outside, we didn’t need to be sleeping or at school for her to do these things. Plus all my daughter ever does at her age is sleep sleep sleep so here I am typing this blog and my son is still sleeping. I can still go out but I just can take her with me and she sleeps sleeps sleeps,seldom cries. She only cries if no one comes to her and I have only heard her truly cry three times since bringing her home. I often hold her because what is there to do all day long where I can’t hold her?

3. Being a parent, I still don’t understand why parents need to be with their kids every single minute of the day. That would drive me crazy if I never had any space in my childhood of playing alone or being alone because mommy was always there. We see our kids everyday so it’s not like they are going away when we go out or do our own thing. It’s not like we only see them few times a year so we have to spend as much time with them as possible and ignore everything else around you. Also don’t forget I had lot of babysitters in my life growing up until age ten. My parents weren’t gone all the time so we didn’t have a babysitter every day. My mom did spend time with us but not every single minute of the day or else the house would never be cleaned and she would have never went out with friends or fly out to see her family and her schizophrenic sister. Our dad was self employed and ran his own business so he watched us while she went away. He could take time off anytime he wanted. I remember him still working while mom would be gone but he still took care of us but I am sure he didn’t get as much work done. I can remember him working and then he would take us somewhere.

4.Still, get a baby sitter or ask your partner to watch your kids or family. My daughter seldom cries and mostly sleeps so I can bring her to places alone. I went to Goodwill yesterday with her and she slept the whole time. My time out after the appointment. I can’t do that with my son alone and I refuse to use the toy aisle as the baby sitter. With kids now, I get why some parents would do that. I feel tempted to do it too so I can’t still look around in peace without him fussing and I know to always avoid the toy aisle when we go there or else he will want to look at them and then get upset when I make him leave it so I can keep looking around. It just isn’t the same with a three year old. Plus you have to leave places sooner when they act up. They get tired, they get bored,  they get hungry so it’s time to leave.

5. It’s still isn’t any different. We still put it aside because one dirty dish makes no difference to clean it now. We just put it in the sink or dishwasher. If he makes a mess, clean it up NOW and it’s still that way when anyone makes a mess. If I accidentally spill my milk, I clean it than leaving it sitting there. Laundry we still put aside and wait until there is enough for a load. If you see your kids are running out of clean clothes, time to do laundry.

6. Can definitely relate and this change has never bothered me. In fact it has given us an excuse to leave places where there are lot of people. Even before kids my husband and I always left social gatherings before everyone else. Neither of us like chit chat or visiting and we have always left before the party was over. Now with a kid, it doesn’t matter because parents leave sooner all the time.

7. What does a kid have to do to keep their parents from engaging in their own activities? As far as I know, it doesn’t take me all day to do simple chores or to clean up a mess my kid makes. When I went for my daily walks, I always took my son with or left him at home with his dad and he loves going for a ride in his stroller. I quit taking him with when I got to my last month of my pregnancy because it would have been hard to push him with the condition I was in. It would have tired me out and make my legs sore and I would get cramps in them or charlie horses so I knew pushing him would be harder on my body. My mom still went out with her girlfriends when I was a child but they all had kids too but they still did alone time. I remember as a child, we would sometimes go over to a friend’s house and their friends had kids so all of us kids would play while our parents visited and did their own thing at their house. I remember playing alone most of the time and watching other kids play video games.

8. With a husband who can’t work, I can just have him watch our son while I nap and our daughter does sleep a lot so she can sleep too with me. I can relate to a degree because I have been up and wouldn’t ask my husband to do it for me because he was sleeping and back when he was employed, he needed to get enough sleep or he would have more seizures an be sent home and we lose money. We could not afford him going home sick because of a seizure. I am the one without a sick brain so I had to be the one to take care of our son and I cheated because I would sleep on the couch with him in my arm because it was the only way I could get some sleep so I wouldn’t be sleep deprived. He would just wake up after putting him down. He also wouldn’t stay sleep unless he stayed in my arms.

 

I never went out often before kids, I don’t have any friends so of course I can’t relate to this article (except for a couple of things). I was up half of the night because my daughter wouldn’t stay asleep and I ended up sleeping in the chair with her in my arm because I was so tired and she would have woken up if I put her back down so I kept her in my arms so she would stay asleep and I slept for a couple of hours in my chair. I am not sure how many hours of sleep I got. Oh yeah I am also loving the comments to the article. Some people are also calling out bullshit.

I had to leave this blog because my daughter woke up so I had to rock her and rub her and I like sniffing her because she has this sweet smell and I like to kiss her. Then I was back to writing again and then my son got up and knocked on my door and he needed help with my WiiU he watches Netflix on. My husband moved it to the main floor on Mother’s Day so everyone can watch Amazon Prime on it or Netflix. Our son also wanted to eat so I had to give him some food and I put his sister in the carrier thing while I cooked him a Eggo and ate a Pop Tart which I shared with him. I also gave him a vitamin and then when he had his food, I went back to this and have my daughter with me again. Now I finally finish this.

 

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