My response to this Huffington article

So I read this article and thought I would post my comments under them. 

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cara-paiuk/the-things-they-really-dont-tell-you-when-you-have-a-baby_b_4124262.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

As an expectant mom or new mom, you have seen this list in some form before. The “things that no one tells you.” Well, most of those lists are missing something. These are some of those missing gems.

1. It will take you at least five hours to watch a movie at home.

I just kept the movie playing and it didn’t take me five hours to finish it. My kid didn’t cry the whole time.

2. You will rush through all of your meals as if you were in an eating contest.

I did? I eat fast anyway so I didn’t notice much difference after having mine.

3. Sometimes, your baby will be in plain sight when you have sex. And he/she might not be sleeping. Yes, that means watching you.

Yep. They won’t remember a thing.

4. You will compare and contrast your baby against all others and think yours is the Best. Baby. Ever.

I think mine is the best looking ever and I started to think other babies aren’t so cute.

5. Things that seem overpriced and worthless end up being what your baby loves most (Toy Bar – $34, Sophie le Giraffe – $20, Happy Baby – priceless).

I bought second hand stuff and didn’t buy pricey items and I went to Ross or TJ Maxx or got things as gifts for my kid

6. Since your baby wants to mimic you, you will be forced to hand over expensive electronics and pray that they won’t be ruined.

You don’t have to do this. We bought our son his own which was a fake item and they were toys, toy laptop, toy cell phones.

7. You think your parents will help out, but they won’t be nearly as helpful as you hope.

I lucked out then, mine are very helpful

8. You will become an adult and your non-adult friends will fade away.

I never had friends as an adult so nothing changed.

9. You will think a lot about your relationship with your parents and notice how you are paradoxically becoming them and reacting against them.

Nope, I must be lucky again

10. No matter how great your relationship is with your spouse, you will experience more conflict than you ever did before.

Yeah we have argued over parenting and how our kid should be raised and my husband has bizarre views on what child abuse is but my mom tells me I am on the right track

11. You will be embarrassed and humbled by cleaning up poop, experiencing your child screaming in public and/or being that person who is slowing everyone down/getting in the way.

Why would I be embarrassed about cleaning up poop?

12. You will love your partner more than ever. Especially when daily sacrifices become acts of heroism.

I don’t feel a change here.

13. You will hate your partner more than ever. Especially when you are bleary-eyed and under-appreciated. So basically, most of the time. You’ll have to tap into reserves of love, patience and tolerance you never knew you had.

I don’t hate mine.

14. You will make noises you did not know were possible in an effort to elicit a smile from your baby. Some of those sounds will be obscene.

Mmmm

15. You will learn that the symptoms of sleep deprivation closely resemble severe mental illness.

I don’t think I ever experienced this.

16. Being asleep by 10 and awake at 6 on a Saturday night has never seemed so glamorous.

My son slept in or slept late and would wake up around eight or nine.

17. Your newfound interest in poop will frighten you. When, how much, color, consistency — you may talk about poop more than anything else.

I was never frightened.

18. You will realize that you never knew this kind of deep love until now.

Perhaps. I felt different when I had my son and it was attachment to him and I never felt the way I had before about anyone except my son.

19. Your breasts are no longer your partner’s (or yours).

Yep.

20. You’ll find yourself making up ridiculous songs with running commentary on your every move.

No.

21. You will have the highest highs and the lowest lows, possibly all within microseconds of each other.
Not sure what this means

22. Although you may have appreciated oldies before, you will now catch yourself humming or singing nursery rhymes and ditties from the baby’s toys.

I liked some of the songs from my son’s toys and would echo through my mind.

23. No matter how much baby-proofing you do, your baby will find the one thing you didn’t baby-proof.

Yeah.

24. No matter how good your intentions are, keeping up with your baby book is nearly impossible.

It was hard to stay motivated filling that thing in.

25. No one can truly prepare you for what will happen to your body. Hemorrhoids. Stretch Marks. Muffin Top.

Yep and I lucked out again. None of that happened. 

26. You are so worried about what your child eats, how much, when, etc. you can forget to eat yourself. Or there is just no time to eat. You may find yourself standing in front of the fridge holding your baby and stuffing string cheese into your mouth.

I fed my son baby food and cut out junk food and I used to drive myself crazy trying to feed healthy foods and I had to loosen up so I wouldn’t be so stressed out with feeding. And I multitask, cooked myself pasta and held my baby in my arms and went back and forth to making myself some food. Put him down for a few seconds to do something in the kitchen and come right back to him. That kept me active.

27. Taking care of your baby will swallow up all your time. You may go days without showering.

I never went days without showering. I don’t know how mothers can do this. Do they not shower when the baby is sleeping? How long does it take them to shower?

28. It’s hard to talk about anything other than baby. If you somehow manage to go on a date with your partner and make a concerted effort to avoid the subject, you will probably be rewarded with some awkward silences.

I still talked about other things. I didn’t even know kids was all parents talked about until I started reading a childfree blog and the childfree person ranted about it, my mom always talked about anything. Actually I have never seen a parent who couldn’t talk about anything that wasn’t about their child.

29. You become insanely paranoid. Every toy, blanket, crib, etc. is a potential threat to your baby’s well-being.

No. That sounds OCD and my dad always taught me worrying is a waste of time of energy and if a parent is so paranoid they can’t even relax or calm down, time for therapy or getting some help with their parenting.

30. You find that “parenting” joins religion, politics and sex as topics unfit for polite conversation (but poop is allowed!).

I wouldn’t have known since I have no social groups and I don’t enjoy group visits or chit chat.

31. You think airport security sucked before?

I wouldn’t know since I have not flown since 2007 and I went to Spokane, WA.

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