A day without our son. He is doing good with my parents and my dad took him to the barbecue at my brother’s girlfriend’s parents place.
I went to the gay festival fair and I saw no diaper related stuff. Probably because that fetish is so rare. I did wet my diaper like five times there and I had my face painted on both sides and got some candy from booths. I even got a drink but accidentally left it at the face painting booth. I had both sides done so I could enjoy the feeling of the paint brush up against my skin. About three people commented on my dress I was wearing. I think my feet did get a little bigger during my pregnancy because the shoes I had on were too tight so they hurt my feet and made me walk slower. I am going to get rid of them. The other shoes I have still fit me and I still wear the same size. Even one person commented on my shoes. Oh never mind, it says they are a size eight and I did get them at the folk shop I used to work at. I wear size 9 1/2’s or 10’s and always have since before my pregnancy. I think I have worn the same shoe size since 5th grade.
I came home and enjoyed my wet diaper, I masturbated in it and then my husband rubbed it for me and I enjoyed the feeling. I got nothing out of it when I did it myself. I went on the computer for a little bit while my husband was visiting with his mother who was here. She came and took him to his appointment.I got upset last night when he told me he had an appointment today at 11AM and it interfered with my plans for today and I was not sure how long it take. Also the fact I had to go grocery shopping too so three things in one day was too much for me. Mom gave me a lecture about it on the phone telling me I need to be helping him and be flexible and not shut him out of my life. I don’t think she realizes how hard it is for me to be flexible sometimes. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s not. When I make a plan and someone interrupts it, it upsets me and I feel panic inside or stress and sometimes anxiety. That is why I don’t always make rigid plans because I fear something will go wrong and I will be upset and have a bad day because it be ruined. But this time I had it set in stone but yet I did something spontaneous by walking around because it was not opened yet when I arrived. But yeah mom gave me a lecture about it as if I was selfish. Does she think I just choose to be this way? Luckily I have an understanding husband but I think he coddles me too much. My parents gave me tough love so I always had to suck it up and deal with it and they didn’t give a darn if I was stressed out or upset or got anxiety. Stress gives me it and a change in my routine will do it or a change in plans. Plus it will effect my mood and I would just be cranky and not fun to be with and sometimes I just don’t want to deal with it if I can avoid it. But my husband said it was a good thing I didn’t take him because I would have gotten really upset. They made a mistake with his location so they had to wait two hours and with me having to be flexible and then this would have pushed me over the edge. I seem to have limitations in flexibility before I lose it. I don’t have restricted routines and always had them off and on my whole life. I just don’t like to be disrupted in it when I do it and I can be flexible if my husband asks me to make him a pizza but I forget off and on about it because I am so preoccupied in my interest, the computer. Okay enough of that.
My husband forced diaper changed me after his mother left. I couldn’t say no to it and I was only wet in the middle so waste of diaper. He made love to me and then he put a new ABU Cushie on me. I wet it not too long later and I made a shopping list and then I left. I wet it in the store again and I had to get things we don’t usually get; laundry soap, sugar, sausages, hamburger meat, a cake for my husband for father’s day, some Velveeta meal and it’s like hamburger helper. It went 40 bucks above our food budget because of these things. Plus I got myself some candy and sliced cheese that is wrapped in plastic in a package. Then I went home. I put the groceries away and had some sliced cheese and M&Ms. I even had to make my husband a sausage and give it to him with bread. I had a sausage myself and it taste good but I had it uncooked. Then I went on the computer and messed myself later again and wetting it. Not together of course, I wet it first and then I messed in it later. I am still in the same diaper.
Yesterday I went to the picnic munch and it was an AB/DL gathering. We had it in the state park and it was an hour from me. I don’t go down to the munches down there often because it’s too far away and because of the cost of gas so I do special occasions. Not many showed up and there wasn’t much food. Everyone hung around and talked and we went for a walk. I just wore my tank top and Fisher Price skirt with a diaper underneath. A guy there gave me a huge stuffed Care Bear and two pink cloth diapers. He dyed them pink. He was going to give them to someone else but she quit being an AB so she quit wearing diapers. She decided to be a slave. So I got more cloth diapers and I changed into one of them in the back seat of my car when I needed to change. It was the first time ever I changed my own diaper in my car where anyone could see me and there was hardly anyone around. If they saw me, big fucking deal. I had my doors closed and the window down in the front seat because it was hot out. Also another person there brought diapers, ABU Cushies and Super Dry Kids. He handed out ABU Cushies (two diapers each, he gave me three since I have never tried them) and only one person got Super Dry Kids because he wore large. I wanted to bring two home for my husband but I was too shy to ask. No way was I going to steal them either.
I was going to wear a Cushie today but I was too excited to wait so my husband suggested I put it on so I did. I wet it a lot and did big wettings in it too and I wet it many times lying down this morning without a problem and they are still holding and no leaks. But it smells even though they can hold more. I will put on another one when I go to the gay festival thing that is going on downtown in the park. I heard they have a few kinky booths so I want to check it out an it’s free. They might have AB/DL related stuff.
These diapers cost over $100 on the ABUniverse website for a case of 80. I am still too scared to order from there due to bad rep. I have read online from people that they wouldn’t get their shipment from them after they had ordered and now I am hearing people do get their orders now and they have more people working for them. But I am still too afraid. I like these diapers so far but shame that place is the only place to get them.
My husband has lost so much weight he can almost fit into my size mediums Wellness Briefs. He wanted to try it on so he can wear it too so I made him try it on over his boxers. I will not waste a diaper or even put it on that has been worn by someone else. But it did not fit but almost. He would only be able to get one side fastened but not the other side. Just reminds me of the time when I was ten I tried on a size five Pamper and it almost fit. I could get one side done but not the other. Maybe if my husband loses another ten pounds, the diaper may fit him but it be tight.
Oh we just got the house. My dad called while I was at work and the paper just got signed and the house is our. We just have to wait now for more paper work to go through and the estimate date to move in is July 22nd. Not long after my birthday. And our son is doing well at my parents house. He is happy out there and I don’t really miss him anymore. I did but now I don’t. They can keep him as long as they want. I just keep pumping my milk to keep the supply going. He also made four big poopy diapers today. He goes days without pooping and the suddenly he will go a lot. He made two yesterday but before that, he had not gone since before he left home.
My mother in law and sister in law brought him home this morning. They even brought the remaining disposables for my parents to use. Then they left and had to come back because they forgot to bring us back the car seat. I was so happy to see my boy I kept on smelling him and kissing him and holding him. I even nursed him even though I had already pumped this morning. They visited for a bit and then they left.
Then this afternoon my parents stopped by and my dad took some stuff out to their car to bring back home with them. But they left the rest of the stuff on our dining room table. They will get it tomorrow along with the high chair and baby gates and his play table and baby food and his sippy cups and silverware. Mom gave us news about the house and I found out that the lady who owned it took three light fixtures (darn it), the water fountain (don’t care), all the pots outside (don’t care), the washer and dryer (darn it), all the furniture and stuff (thank god) but the walls are dirty in some parts of the home (darn it). At least the lady didn’t do destruction to the house. But hey our apartment is in worse shape than that house because our carpets had not been cleaned since before we moved here, the closet doors keep going out of place and they are hard to open and close, the screws are coming out of our hall closet and our son’s bedroom door the holes have finally gotten too big for them to stay in. Our front door is hard to close so we have to push it close due to it being loose, we have mold on our bathroom ceiling and the floor in there needs to be replaced and so does the kitchen floor, the counter above the dishwasher is coming undone and peeling off the counter top, and we keep getting ants. I keep killing them with ant spray and we need to buy more. Plus our dryer does not dry things all the way and no way am I pay another 75 cents to dry. But that house just needs a new roof and eaves and a new laundry sink. Even the additional garage needs a new roof. My parents are hoping this will all be done by September and the worst case that can happen is not approve us. We had to go through another bank to get another loan because the government owns the place now and my parents put down an offer for $210,00 and will be borrowing $230,000 total from the bank so we can replace the roof and eaves on the house. My husband will be doing it too with them. I can’t be on it for personal reasons.
Today is our last day and night with our son so I was busy holding him all day and nursing him while my parents were here. Then they had to leave because they were going to meet up with their old friend and have dinner. Their old friend is our realtor. I do hope be in that house by Christmas. If we don’t get this house, we will go find another house to buy.
I am going to miss him. But only because I don’t know when I will be seeing him again.
While I was getting ready for work, I grab my disposable brief and see it’s the last one in the pack. I throw it away and now I am down to my last pack. Now I have to pay close attention to it because when I get down to seven diapers, we have to order more or it’s crappy diapers again until they get here.
Oh I should have bought some youth briefs at Goodwill when I saw them because they would have made great stuffers for those crappy kind we have. I bet they are gone now. They were actually a size small but they looked like youth ones. Next time I will probably do that when I see them again. They were even folded like baby diapers. They didn’t look very absorbent either but they would have made great stuffers.
The lady finally called back and now my husband has to mail in the forms. He still has to finish filling them out. I hope he will do it ASAP. My dad is still sending us a check and my mother in law came by to take my husband to the appointment and she took our son with. She also wants to bring him back home for a couple of days so she can spend her last time with him before he goes away for a while to my parents.
My parents wants to bring our son out there until my husband gets better. My dad is driving out here this weekend to pick him up and bring him back home. My husband doesn’t care because he is in too much pain. I will just keep pumping my breast milk so I won’t dry up. I am also hoping I will nurse my husband more often.
That will be a lot of stuff my dad will be bringing back, all the food and diapers and his high chair and play yard, his toys and clothes and his baby shampoo and tooth brush.
I just remembered I never fed my son lunch before he left. I was going to do it but I decided to wash the dishes instead and I forgot. Luckily there is food in the diaper bag and a spoon.
Our son will get to see two new states he’s never visited before. He has been to the state above our state because I sometimes go up there for the autism group. I missed the last one because of money issues due to husband not working. We always have it at Applebee’s and we eat food there and visit.
We can always call him to hear him on the phone or get Skype so we can see him. He be gone for a little while, a month for the most unless things change like my husband still not being better by the 8th of next month. They will keep him until he is better and he is back to work. Right now we have hit a bumpy spot in life.
Someone just posted a mean comment about my husband which I never approved (all comments need to be approved before they show up to the public). Obviously he has not read this whole blog or else he would have known I enjoy being forced into diapers and I don’t mind the sex and that I am happily married and our relationship had improved ever since I have been forced into diapers. Also he did not know how old I was and my husband. He would also know he has been in too much pain lately to even have sex and that he hasn’t been changing me (he only has twice now). Some people just do not read thoroughly nor all of it. It just looked like he only read that one blog by me about me being stressed out and sent me that mean comment about him. In fact I was expecting it to be a mean comment about me lol since it’s not my husband’s fault he has seizures and bad feet and that he hurt his back when he had a seizure and there I was bashing him in my rant. People are always frowned upon when they bash people who are not well and all of a sudden their feelings become unimportant because people tell them how selfish and horrible people they are for how they are feeling and how dare they be stressed out about it. Could it have been a troll comment? Hard to say.
I don’t think I need to defend my husband because I don’t care what a stranger thinks online. I thought about sending him an email about it but I decided “why would I care what he thinks so I don’t need to defend my husband?” I think this whole blog already defends him so there. :) Oh wait, he thinks I am pretending he is disabled so anything in this blog I say about him wouldn’t matter because he chooses to think my husband is normal and not disabled and thinks I am lying about it. Emailing him and defending him wouldn’t matter either. Well maybe I did just defend hm by writing all this.
Moving along now.
My husband did call that woman and left her a message twice, she never called back. He does have an appointment today on the 5th about his back. He did make me feel better after he found me in our son’s room crying. He had me sit in his lap and he hugged me and assured me everything was fine. He said we are not going paycheck to paycheck but I told him he said we were last week with my income alone. He said he was having a seizure so he was not thinking clearly. Since he contradicts himself due to not being able to think properly, I don’t know what to believe so I can’t take his word. Then he noticed I had no diaper on. He told me what a naughty girl I was and I told him I don’t care anymore what he does to me, I am too upset. He told me to get on the bed.
Thinking he was going to give me sex, I grabbed my computer and brought it in our room. Then he came in and took out a disposable diaper and he took off my pants and underwear. I lie on my side and he tells me “I am not going to punish you.” I was shocked. No punishment. I asked him why and he said “I think you have been punished enough but next time you will be” and he diapered me. I said I thought he was going to give me sex and he said “I said to lie on the bed” and I thought he was going to give me sex when he told me to lie on it. That is where the punishments always happen. But he surprised me and was nice this time. I think he was too sore to even have sex to try and make another baby so he diapered me only. Luckily I had in that soft cup as a precaution. Then he sat on the bed and pulled me over his lap and spanked me. It was what I wanted and I told him last night I wish he would spank me and pull me over his lap and he surprised me the next day. I think he did it because he knew it was what I wanted. It wasn’t bad and it didn’t hurt. I think he did like 20 swats on my butt.
I even went to work all happy and this time my husband decided to have my aunt watch our son than have his mother come out. So I called her and she said she could watch him and my husband talked to her and decided I bring him over there so it be easier for her since she had some work to do from school, (she is a special education teacher). So I packed my son’s diaper bag and some food and I brought him over there. My uncle was there but not my aunt yet. I forgot they had toys there because my Aunt has some packed in the basement from her work because she buys stuff for her class and since they already have so much of it at school, she doesn’t need to bring it all there so she has the rest packed in the basement. She brought some of it out for him to play with and played a video for him. I should have brought some extra plastic pants because he soaked those and they stunk like pee and his shorts got wet when his diaper leaked so she washed them both. So when I got there to pick him up, he was in his t shirt and cloth diaper.
So I am feeling better now, for now. I am no longer mad at my husband nor resenting him. I think that mean comment made me realize more how much I love him and appreciate him. I did feel a little bad for all the bad things I have said about him in my other blog after he had calmed me down and told me to wake him up next time if something is bothering me. But I will leave it or else this blog will be irrelevant and won’t make any sense. Besides I have it tagged as a rant. Maybe that mean comment was a wonderful comment he left me after all. ;)
Happily diapered and all calm.