Time At the Mall

I had decided to go. My mind was set to it so I had to go. Once I set my mind to something, it’s hard for me to undo it. If my husband decides to do something, I have to adjust to it and once my mind is set to it, it’s hard for me to undo it if he were to change his mind. I tend to get upset when it changes again.

My son woke up around four luckily so I got ready. I got him dressed, packed his diaper bag, got his coat and got out his stroller. I grabbed my own jacket and we left.

When I get on the bus, the bus doesn’t move as if the driver was waiting for me to take my baby out of his stroller and fold it up. I always take my kid out anyway so the stroller isn’t in the way. I always use the umbrella one because it’s easier to take on the bus.

When we get to the mall, I look around at The Dollar Tree and then I go to Ross and look at some socks and clothes. I didn’t buy too many because I didn’t want to spend lot of money. I only bough a Cars outfit and a Scooby Doo t shirt and socks. Then I stop at the Pretzel place and buy myself a pretzel and it was a pepperoni pizza and I got pizza sauce with it than cheese sauce. I gave some of it to my son figuring he was hungry because he had not eaten since breakfast. Then we went to the frozen yogurt place and got some ice cream of different flavors and then put toppings on it. This is the sort of ice cream place where you grab a cup and go to the machines and put ice cream in it and you can put in differed flavors and put in as much as you want and then you pick your own toppings and then you take it to the cash register and weigh it and pay for it. It’s really awesome I always go there whenever I go to the mall. I shared some of it with my son and then I headed to the play area for him to play. At first he seemed uninterested in playing on the toys because he preferred to pay more attention to people. He kept walking towards these two men and one of them even picked him up and hell him. I am not one of those women who over reacts when some strange guy touches her kid and besides I just assumed they were dads. Then he started to play on the toys and one of the kids commented on how cute he is. One of them even asked if he was my son. I read a sample of a story on my Nook color and it was an adult book about diapers. I found out a little while ago you can get books about diaper fetishes on ebooks and they are ebook only, not paperback so I have several of them on mine but they are all samples. I haven’t purchased the full versions yet. One girl tried to look at what I was reading but I pulled it away. I wasn’t going to assume she couldn’t read. My son did take off from the area a few times and I had to keep directing him back to the area. Then when he left it again for the very last time, I decided it was time to leave the area so I took the diaper bag and stroller and followed after him. He went into Ross and I followed him in there an then I strapped him in his stroller and went to the bookstore and read some stuff about the Titanic and I let my son run all over the children’s area and I kept picking up his messes when he be done playing with it. Some other strangers played with him too and he even grabbed a pacifier out of another kid’s mouth and the kid’s mother took it from him and pout it back in her son’s mouth. But my son grabbed it again and I told him no and it wasn’t his and the mother said she will just make is easier and she put the pacifier in her pocket. I thanked her. Her kid didn’t seem to care he didn’t have it anymore.

As for my diaper, I am not sure how many times I wet it. Wetting them has come so natural I can wet without thinking about it and it’s like I never went so it’s like I don’t even remember when I have gone. I know I went as I was looking at clothes. I hardly ever felt I had to go. I don’t think I am losing control because I still have to relax my muscles to go and I still can’t pee in all spots. I can be sitting down and then I stand up and I all of a sudden go after I have relaxed my muscles. Plus it hardly felt I even had a diaper on but I could still feel it when I moved but I could easily forget I even have one on if I don’t think about it. Someone once said at ADISC or Dailydiapers that Wellness Briefs feels like underwear. not for me when I go to work because I can always feel it but today I could hardly feel it. Right now I can feel it as I type this. But yet when I am not wearing a diaper, I end up feeling I have to go all the time and diapers take that feeling away. Diapers have messed my bladder up in ways over the years but I have never lost bladder control. But one time I always had an accident in public because I had to go so bad and I had just went and I didn’t bother trying to go again before leaving to take a drug test for my new job in 2007. I knew I would need to pee for the test so I decided to hold it but within minutes, the urge got stronger and stronger I felt like I was going to wet myself. I didn’t even know where to find the bathrooms and I didn’t even think to just go to the mall that was three blocks away and use the restrooms there. But luckily a employee in a store let me use the restrooms in a store and right when I sat down, I started peeing and I bet if I waited any longer, I would have indeed wet myself. I decided after that I was just going to wear a diaper when I am out in public because I felt more secured that way. But about a week later I went back to wearing 24/7 again and then stopped in March 2008. I had a job again so I went 24/7 again.

After eight, I decided it was time to head home so I put my son in his stroller and put the Titanic books back and had a drink of water and left. I stopped and changed my son first in the restroom and then I headed for the bus. On the way back he was fussy and I figured he was tired because it was late. He wasn’t too loud and he fussed off and on. Then after I got off I put him in his stroller and accidentally pinched his skin with the buckle when I strapped him in because he was squirming. He cried and screamed the rest of the way home due to the pain he had gotten. He didn’t stop until we got home and I handed my husband the receipts and showed him the outfit and shirt I got. Our son was still fussing so my husband rocked him and he went to sleep. 

When did I last wet my diaper? I don’t remember. That is what happens when you wear 24/7, it becomes a ritual you don’t even think about it anymore. You know you have gone but it feels like you never went and then you don’t even remember when you last went. I still feel dry but when I stand up and walk, I can tell I am wet because I can feel the air on my skin down there as I walk where it’s wet and it’s around the edges of the diaper in the middle.

I had fun at the mall. Better than being stuck at home. My husband just has to help me with that.

Not sure what to name this entry

I just got through having a bath with my son. I spent most of my time breast feeding him as I listened to music on my husband’s cell phone. Then He was ready to get out so I had my husband get him out and dry him off and put him in a clean diaper while I shaved and then washed my hair Then I got out and rinsed out my poopy diaper I left in the toilet and then I wrung it out and put it in the bucket. I picked up my son’s wet diaper and put it in the bucket too. Then I got on the computer and waited till my husband was done rocking our son to sleep so he could diaper me.

Then after he was done, he told me to go in our room and I lied on our bed. My husband got out a disposable instead of cloth. I told him why is he getting those out and he told me I was going to the mall when our son gets up. I asked him why can’t I wear a cloth until then and he told me “I am the dad and I get to decide what diaper you wear.”

I don’t know why he is kicking me out of the apartment again but I decided I will just read about the Titanic if my son will let me and I will just take the bus to save on gas. At least I won’t have to bring any extra diapers with for myself.


Thank god it’s Friday.

I love this phrase. It was my favorite when I was 15. I learned it though blond jokes. I love blond jokes. They were my favorite for a while in middle school and high school and would tell them all the time or read them online. I even made up my own phrase and it was ONIS (Oh No it’s Sunday). One time my resource room* teacher told me she said it to her husband that day and he laughed knowing what she meant.

I love Fridays because I don’t work on the weekends. My mother in law did go home that day and now here I am up with my son. I let him play around the living room and dining room and I just got through changing him and boy was he soaked. He was leaking because I felt the damp spot around his legs where the diaper is so I changed him. Ironically I need to get changed too because I did a big pee (as if I had been holding it) and it leaked a little because I also felt a damp spot on the back of my work jeans. But the wet spot is unnoticeable. The diaper is even wet in the back a little but not too much.

My son even managed to take out my Titanic disc 2 and I hope he didn’t ruin it. he only got finger prints on it and they can be wiped off if the movie skips or freezes. It was my fault too because I was too busy with the computer and I had in ear plugs because the neighbor below me was playing his music too loud and I had the TV up a little high to try and drone it out. I wonder what I did wrong? The neighbor’s excuse for playing his music loud is because I do elephants.** My husband thinks it’s just an excuse for him to play his music loud. But he is done now so I took out the ear plugs and the TV isn’t up high anymore. .

Just imagine if my son did ruin the disc like crack it, I would have to take a photo of it and maybe post it to Shit My Kids Ruined and post it to my Facebook. I know I would be upset if he ruined the disc but it wouldn’t stop me from posting it online. I still gotta have fun you know even if I didn’t like it.

Now I need to change and put my pajamas on.



*a political correctness word for special ed. Though those two are two different things but it was still a special ed room and they didn’t even use the words. They only had “resource room.”

**a term for walking and moving around it sounds like elephants moving around on the floor above for the person who is below you.