Daddy decided to give us baths again. It was three o’ clock and he came out and got me undressed. He took off my pajamas and my diapers. Then I got the bath ready and dad got my brother ready too for his bath. He put him in the tub with me. We both played and I washed his hair for my dad so he wouldn’t have to bath us both. Then when 3:20 came, dad came in and he washed my hair and I kept calling him daddy and he told me to call him dad. He wouldn’t tell me why he doesn’t want to be called daddy and he told me to not call my son my brother because he is learning. I can understand why he would not want to call my brother my brother and say I am his sister during our role play because he would think I was his sister, not his mother but why can’t I call my dad daddy? But at least I could still call him dad because he calls me mom because of our son so he can learn. But at least in this blog I can refer my dad as daddy and my son as my brother. After he was done washing me, I played a little more except I shaved in the tub. Then at 3:29 I got out. I dried off and dad told me I had to get my brother out too and get him dressed and then he will take care of me next. I dried my brother off and then brought him to his bedroom and put him in his clean diaper and plastic pants. Then I went in my own bedroom and my dad had the diaper ready for me. It was a disposable, not one of those sucky brands. I found it in my son’s closet while I was cleaning. Daddy put some baby powder on me and fastened the diaper in place. I got dressed and then I decided I wanted to wear plastic pants over it for leaks. I knew they would not be good as the Tenas but they were sure better than those other diapers that suck.
At the autism group I went my diaper twice there and the wettings weren’t that bad. They were pretty light. I did it while sitting and the second time I did it while standing because I couldn’t go sitting for some reason. But at home the diaper leaked when I did a medium wetting in it while I was sitting on the couch. Dad was about to shower so I asked him to change me and he said I would have to do it because he has to work tomorrow and he needs to shower. He couldn’t even take five minutes to change my wet diaper?
So I went back in our bedroom, took the wet diaper off and got my wipes out of my brother’s room and cleaned up my crotch area and put on some diaper rash cream. Then I put on a cloth diaper and another pair of plastic pants.
At least the diaper I had on absorbed and it was not as comfy as the Tenas but at least the baby powder made it softer. I am not sure what brand it was. I am going to be sticking with the good brands from now on, not get other brands I don’t know about at Goodwill or other thrift stores I find. But at least they are cheap. But at least I still have them for back up use if I run out of the good ones. But online I won’t get other brands I don’t know about.
Oh yeah it took me nearly an hour to write this whole blog because my son kept bugging me after I have given him my time but he kept squirming in my arms and not lie still and it’s hard to type when he touches me and when I push him off, he still climbs onto me. Then when I put him on the floor, he still grabs at my legs and it makes it hard for me to type. Now he is sleeping on me laps with my nipple in his mouth and I was able to finish this blog. I may be a baby, but I still have to be an adult too. I did get frustrated and felt like melting down and hurting him and putting him in his crib with the door closed so I can relax. but I am afraid daddy get mad at me and take my toy away (my computer) and I am not sure if he meant take it away as I am using it or take it away nonetheless and it wouldn’t matter if I was watching TV and not using the computer at the moment or playing video games. would he take that stuff away too because I was using those at the time of his crying? I wish he be this easy every night to fall asleep when he nurses than squirming around on me and making it hard for me to type and then getting up and then wanting my boob again less than ten seconds later. I wish he make up his mind. At leas when he is older and starts to understand I won’t have to take that crap from him and I would tell him to make up his mind and stick with what he wanted and not let him change his mind or else I walk away from him.