Lemonade Wars

Published September 16, 2014 by lifeasadiaperedmother

I just finished the book today and I want to read the sequel books to the book. It’s a series. I could relate so much to Jessie it was like I was reading about my childhood again. I never had conflicts with my brothers or do any wars with them but Jessie had a hard time reading people and understanding them and she would get confused by their actions and why they were upset. But she was still a nice person and she made a friend. She and her brother were able to resolve their issues while my mother always had to help me resolve mine because I couldn’t do it myself. But now I have moved onto another book and I forget the name of it but it’s about a boy with a learning disability and he meets his old friend who has a condition that gives him growth retardation so he is very small but he is very smart. It seems like the bookstore is doing disability awareness or is it a coincidence they have out all these books on display that is about a character with a disability. There are other books but not all of them are about a disability. I have finished reading Rules, Out of My Mind, and Lemonade Wars. I related a little to David because I also liked rules as a kid and needed them so I knew how to act and what to expect. My mom had to give me them every time we went somewhere. Plus I learned in the Rules book, they aren’t really rules people do because most people don’t see them as rules but I do. Even my high school therapist called them rules too. He would tell me it’s not the social rules or that me and other kids are not following the social rules.

Maybe after I run out of interesting books to read in the bookstore or when they decide to take them off display and put up new books, I will return to my Nook and finish the book there and then read the rest of the Lemonade War series. It’s killing two birds with one stone, I go there to streetpass and I read. I don’t play my Mii Plaza games there always because I would rather read to finish the book.

I goofed up

Published September 14, 2014 by lifeasadiaperedmother

In my last blog entry, I talked a little about child abuse and I said how Sarah Burleton was tossed down the stairs by her mom and her aunt took her to the hospital. That was about something else. Her aunt decided to visit her sister at her apartment and she saw Sarah had two black eyes and a bloody nose and her mom said she fell. Sarah’s aunt knew you do not get two black eyes from falling so she took her to the hospital and not only did they have two black eyes and a bloody nose, she also had a fractured skull. Sarah asked her aunt when she told her this story when her son was little and she was about his age when it happened, why didn’t anyone call the cops, her aunt said times were different then. This had to be the early eighties when this happened. I did learn one thing from her first book, CPS was still useless and not as good when I was a kid. My mom also told me there was no mandatory law to report child abuse and it wasn’t enforced. It also told me Heather the Babysitter written by *bleg* Deeker may have been plausible because the time it was written, people back then just didn’t call social services. But yes Sarah was tossed down the stairs and broke her collar bone from the toss and her mother didn’t get arrested. Who knows what the cover up story was, “I tripped and she flew out of my arms.” I still can’t imagine any mom doing that to a helpless kid and I was so horrified her mom could be so capable of being so evil to an infant and she was abusing her then as a infant and toddler. I would love to sock the mother and send her a nasty email. I am sure lot of people feel that way and I doubt Sarah will post her mom’s home address or her email. I also felt the same way about Catherine Pelzer when I read A Child Called “it.” Send her a nasty letter if I knew her address. People who like to believe these stories are fake, good for them. I guess they are better off not knowing how horrible parents can be to their kids. Ignorance is a bliss. People today still don’t want to believe how real child abuse is just like how people don’t want to believe how real it is that men can be victims of domestic abuse or how real it is that parents can be victims of abuse from their underage children. In fact there is a movie about a guy being abused by his wife and it’s called Men Don’t Tell. It was only aired once and women groups got offended by it and got it banned. I saw it on youtube and I was happy how the daughter ratted her mom out because she was concerned about her being in huge trouble for what she does. Then the father was released and had full custody over their kids and told his ex wife or separated wife (not sure if they were divorced or not) to get help.

And I will be honest, I used to not believe men could be abused by their wives because they are stronger and could easily restrain them so why would they let their wives abuse them? I also thought the same about children too. Toddlers can get aggressive and if it’s sometimes painful when they scatch or bite you or head butt you in the face, imagine if it was done with intent. It will be a lot more painful and harder to restrain them. I saw how strong a child can be. If I had to hold my son away from me or hold his arms and feet to keep him from kicking and hitting, imagine doing that to a five year old or to a seven year old. Most kids outgrow their aggressive behaviors by the time they are five years old. My son outgrew his and he is only three so that shows each kid is different. Or because I taught him to not do it. I also used to believe parents should put up with the abuse from their child but I have realized safety comes first, same as if a child gets aggressive unintentionally and they have gotten too big to be restrained by their parents and have gotten too strong they could now easily hurt them. After reading persona stories, yes I have changed my views. Why can’t other people and why is this all rocket science?

Abuse by children

Published September 14, 2014 by lifeasadiaperedmother

“Ugh, not this topic again” you are probably thinking once you start reading it.

I know I have talked about abusive children in the past and have you noticed how it’s often not talked about? Every time we hear about abuse or domestic violence, it’s always done by a parent or partner or caretaker. We never hear about a child abusing a parent or another adult. I have before but not much and the parent is always seen as the bad guy or teacher and victim blaming comes in place that the adult must have done something to provoke it. I can remember coming back to my class from recess and Russell runs up to me and pinches me in the neck and I cry and tell our teacher and he says “she was cussing.” I was just walking back to class and did nothing wrong and I wasn’t even talking. What did I do to provoke this? What did my brothers do to provoke getting an ax thrown at them? Oh telling Frankie to stop chopping up my parents hammock they got in Mexico. :rolls eyes: TLC did a movie about it once called Dangerous Child. What did the mother do to provoke such violence? Oh being a parent and doing her job as a mom. It’s normal for teens to want their way and get upset but it’s not normal for them to start beating their mother and breaking things just because they were not allowed to do something or because they disobeyed and now they are in trouble for sneaking out when they were supposed to watch their brother. But it was actually learned behavior from the father because he was abusive and the parents were divorced because of it so the mom had full custody. Then the nine year old was starting to pick up on it but he wasn’t aggressive yet, he was just having verbal outbursts and that was how it started for the 16 year old and it got ignored. Never seen as a red flag because the parents didn’t know where it was heading. But when the little brother started his verbal outbursts, it didn’t get ignored.

I finally decided to do a search on it and came across http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_abuse_by_children and what do you know, it’s little talked about and considered a taboo topic. I knew it.

Then cracked just did an article about disturbed children and it was the first time ever I didn’t see any humor in it and it all looked serious to me, not a joke. Maybe because I have seen it happen and have had experience and heard personal stories about it and the fact my mom would get attacked by an autistic student who was only six. I know not all disabled children are violent because I have know lot of kids with disabilities and most of them were not disturbed. I was around them growing up and in a self contained class and only one boy was aggressive, Russell. Then there was Frankie and he was another kid I knew who was aggressive but he was worse than Russell. So I know this is all real and it angers me when people try and discredit it and act like it doesn’t exist and call it a stigma or discrimination or say these kids are treated poorly as if people are not allowed to defend themselves and if they do, oh no it’s abuse. I know this view can get you enemies and lose respect from people and lose friends because they are on the other side. I have unliked parenting pages that thought kids should abuse their families and were calling the parents horrible for trying to protect themselves by sending the kid back to their home country or abandoning them. This is often a controversial topic and even your personal experience with abuse can make you the bad guy and a bigot when you talk about your negative experience.

When I did a search on abused by a child, only the wiki article popped up and the rest only talked about child abuse. Why are people so silent about this topic? Why do people deny this happens? They like to turn their backs and pretend the parents are bad parents or the teacher is abusing them. Sure kids do sometimes subject to violence when they are being abused but that is everyone, anyone would get violent if they kept on getting harassed and bothered and or got grabbed or someone trying to mug them or rape them, that is normal. Anyone can get violent if provoked and pushed but is not what we’re talking about here. Every time the topic comes up about violent kids, people start talking about abuse and talking about their horrible experience with abuse they got at school or in a hospital. It’s like no one can’t even talk about it without anyone listening. People just want to continue to believe there is no abuse and it’s all self defense and the kid is just retaliating to the abuse. They don’t want to believe a kid has problems. But guess what, even abusers have problems too because they also grew up in violent households or because they were abused as children or because they have anger issues or other problems that would cause them to be abusive including mental illnesses or autism. So why accept this in children? No one accepts this in adults but why in kids and blame the victim for it? Reading the comments to the Cracked article said it all and proved my point how people would rather live under a rock. If you got abused by a child, then you must have done something to deserve it, you must have been abusive. That is the response one commenter got when s/he said she has worked with kids like this and got attacks about it being called an abuser and how they hope s’he never works with them again. I just saw ASSumptions and accusations.

Parental abuse has been a new term since 1979. I was glad to see there is such thing but see no other information about it besides on wikipedia just told me how it’s not taken seriously and how the majority still ignore it and still blame the victim.

You are probably thinking I am paranoid or thinking I have been traumatized by these two children my thoughts have been clouded and I need counseling, or thinking I am a bigot and hate disabled people and people with mental illnesses, or probably thinking I am using my experience to justify all this or thinking I am being an abliest and of course you may be thinking wikipedia is unreliable source for information and of course you may be thinking “duh of course you didn’t find anything on parental abuse because it doesn’t exist.”

I must say back when my parents were kids, child abuse also didn’t exist. People didn’t believe parents could abuse their children and not love them. People just turned a blind eye and thought the kid is a liar because no parent would do this. Even when I was a little girl, social services turned a blind eye and would assume the child is lying and believed the parent. Even when I was a small child, a parent could harm their child and take them into ER and get away with it because people were trusting and thought a parent wouldn’t do this to their kid and bought their lie. I am still horrified about the part I read in one of Sarah’s Burleton books about her being thrown down the stairs by her mother because she wouldn’t stop crying. Sarah asked her aunt who told her that story why didn’t anyone call the cops and she said times were different then. Given that she was born in 1978 and her “father” said she was two months old when it happened would have made the year 1979 when it happened given the month she was born in but she told me on her Facebook page her aunt said she was eight months. I told my husband about it and he said people were more trusting and were not really aware parents could harm their children. Now people have become aware of child abuse and people who work in profession like nursing or doctors or in school or do counseling are all required by law to report it and are trained to look for in abuse and what it looks like. People take photos of the abuse and show it to people so they know what to look for. Perhaps someday people will get this far with abuse by kids and stop turning a blind eye to it. Maybe someday there will be laws to protect families and victims, maybe someday there will be better support for these kids and for their families. It’s hard to have empathy for these kids because how hard do you find it to have empathy for child abusers and domestic abusers despite their own background story and how they feel themselves even if they have a disability or some emotional issue or were abused victims themselves? It’s not politically incorrect to not feel sorry for them and to have no empathy but yet it’s politically incorrect to feel the same way about these kids.

Maybe I should be an advocate for victims of abuse by kids. But how? Do I really want to do it? Do I really want to put myself out there and be seen as the enemy, the evil, Hitler, and be known by strangers and be infamous? I don’t think I am ready for this. Maybe this is why people are not aware of abuse by kids because no one will step up and talk about it publicly and make everyone aware fearing they will get resentment and be seen as bad people and lose respect from reality.

Oh wait I lied, if you do a search on abused by children, more stuff pops up about children being abusive but stuff on child abuse still pops up. But still not many pages about it.

A surprising PM that proved to me

Published September 13, 2014 by lifeasadiaperedmother

I know people either see me as a troll or see things in my posts that are not even there or misread my intentions. Tons of people have stopped talking to me for no apparent reason, I have always gotten accused of being argumentative when it’s never my intent, same as for being defensive. On fanfiction I got an interesting review and I reply and I was hoping for a discussion but instead I get seen as being somewhat bigoted. I am not sure why she thought that. She also saw me as being argumentative and said she was tying to make ammends. I am also not sure what she meant. I looked the word up and I wonder how was I rude or did she find my fanfiction story rude or my response when I was trying to be friendly. But I apologized for making her feel uncomfortable and said I have always gotten accused of being argumentative when it was never my intent and it’s even in my medical records that I argue about everything. I have also gotten accused of being defensive when it was not my intent to be, I was never negative about Trey Parker and I was never offended by their shows or by their AS episode. I felt she misread my messages and told her I wouldn’t bother her again.

Yeah I was just reminded how shit I am with communication and how I do scare people off when we talk. Then I remember what that guy told me when we went to the nude beach, he said I was likable and fun to be with. Well at least not everyone will see me in negative light or take me the wrong way. I was feeling all down about myself that day and he made me feel happy and I cheered up after he told me that. But she was polite still in her message because she was saying sorry and saying she hopes I have a good September and good bye. She didn’t sound angry. If she was, then she did good hiding it. She also thought I don’t get others perspectives. I feel people don’t want to hear mine so they say I am argumentative. I won’t be able to please everyone and not everyone is going to like me. That is just the fact of life for everyone. I thought we were having a interesting discussion and we could relate and we had similar childhoods and I learned some interesting things from her like about the intent behind South Park and the offensive stuff they do in it and stereotypes and Trey Parker also has Asperger’s. I didn’t know telling her what I thought when I saw the shows and not knowing about it would make me come off as argumentative or a bigot or being all negative. So much for trying to have a discussion. That’s why I am always shy and too afraid to talk to anyone online or make friends. I always wait for people to come to me and I had given up on friends so I just talk and not see them as a friend. Not that I saw her as a friend. I saw her as someone on fanfiction I was talking to.

Sometimes people should keep their mouths shut

Published September 9, 2014 by lifeasadiaperedmother

There are times when I think someone should have kept their mouth shut. My mom was on of them today. My son was using the toilet and he started crying all of a sudden saying he hurts down there and pointing to his penis. It looked fine and I figured he must have slammed the seat on it because I heard the seat drop down and then he started crying. My mom said I should make an appointment with his doctor because he shouldn’t be in so much pain whenever it gets hard and we can’t pull back the foreskin. She tells me what to say when I make the appointment so I got out the paper with the number on it I kept and made the call and schedule an appointment and I repeated exactly what my mother told me to say. I said “My son’s penis always hurts whenever he gets a stiffy and we can’t pull the foreskin back.” She scheduled it for tomorrow and then I told my mom I made the appointment for his stiffy and it’s tomorrow and she asked me what did I say so I told her and she said Did you say stiffy?” and I said yes and my mom started laughing. I didn’t know what was so funny and she asked me what did she say and I said nothing and she asked me if she laughed and I said no. I told her I said what she told me to say so why is it funny and what is wrong with the wrong. She told me it was a kinder way of saying erection. I told her she told me that word so why is it funny. She wouldn’t tell me and told me I didn’t do anything wrong and it was okay and she probably chuckled. Then she said she didn’t mean to embarrass me. And you would think NTs would have a social filter but even they goof up too in their social skills. She should have kept her mouth shut about me saying the word. 

Hand washed some clothes

Published September 6, 2014 by lifeasadiaperedmother

I did a blog yesterday about our broken washing machine, I washed the diapers by hand and now they are drying. It will take a while for them all to dry because I can’t wring them out enough as good as the washer. Now I know why clothes wouldn’t dry all the way, it wasn’t that the heat in the dryer isn’t working well, it’s because the washing machine does not wring out the clothes well because it won’t spin so it takes longer for the clothes to dry. I also washed some other clothes, my son’s underwear, some of my stuff, my daughter’s clothes and a burp rag and now they are sitting in the washing machine waiting to be put in the dryer for them to dry when the diapers are done. I did had to rinse them all out in the laundry sink where I washed them. I can probably do this. It uses more water but this is until we get the washer fixed and I can wash cloth diapers this way too. Let them soak too in soapy water in scalding hot water. I did that with my daughter’s poopy ones and then I scrubbed them against the grooves in the sink which is obvious for washing clothes.

Stupid washing machine

Published September 5, 2014 by lifeasadiaperedmother

It broke and this time it won’t spin and the lid won’t stay locked. Time to wash cloth diapers by hand and use disposables again. It also won’t wash clothes properly. Now the load still has lot of soap in the linen and I can’t get it to rinse so I can dry them. Unless I want to rinse them out myself and put in the dryer and try and wring them out good which means abandon my kids and have my husband take over while I do the clothes and diapers. I am not even sure if our laundromat allows diapers to be washed there. Oh now it fills with water as I type this to rinse. Saves me the trouble of rinsing the clothes out myself. This just means our children can go naked to save on laundry and our son likes to go nude anyway and make him wear he same outfit outside if he wants to play. I can wash a few things in our tub and bucket if we have to like some poor people have to do when they don’t have a washing machine or a working one because they cannot afford a laundromat or don’t have the time to sit there and wait for it to finish or don’t have a car to get to one that is walking distance. 

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